They Never Knew
by It's-Nothing-Just-A-Wolf
Summary: Everyone thought Emma was fine. No one thought to ask how she was. No one was worried, but maybe they should have been.
1. Chapter 1

They Never Knew

Chapter 1: When They Found Her)

Authors note: This had the potential to be a very triggering story. I plan to go into full detail of what happens in this. WARNING SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND PAST OF SELF HARM. I hope you enjoy and are intrigued. For those out there who get easily triggered I suggest you leave now. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I only own Amelia (Emma's sister) and the storyline. I unfortunately do not own Once Upon A Time or any of the characters and I do not claim to.

Emma couldn't help but notice all the little things that had changed in Storybrooke since she arrived nearly four years ago. Some things were for the better…and some things weren't. She watched as Sneezy passed her giving her a dark glare, she noticed how different town's people wouldn't look at her as though they couldn't be bothered. Maybe she did bother people. Emma may come off as a non-caring person but on the inside she always had. She had always wanted approval, to be loved.

She thought she could have that with Mary Margret and David along with Henry and if she were lucky maybe even Hook. Yes Emma was in love! She had fallen in love with that pirate. It couldn't be helped. While Emma felt maybe this was a good thing she also was terrified. Love had never gone quite right for her. Luck was not something that followed her often.

This thought stayed with her as she made her way up to her apartment that she had shared with her parents since she arrived at Storybrooke. As she walked in she immediately noticed she was alone. This is when things got bad for Emma. This is when the voices would take over and make her feel in ways she never had to with other people around.

She went to the kitchen and started making hot chocolate. **'Maybe this would be alright. Emma you've stayed alone before and been fine. Besides you could always invite someone.'** She tried to reason with herself. **'Just ask Henry if he wants to hang out. It's a Friday so it's not like he has school.'** She smiled gently at the idea of spending time with her son. She pulled out her phone and was ready to call when the thoughts came… **'what makes you think he wants to spend time with you? He doesn't even consider you his real mom! He only brought you here to break the curse, so why have you stayed so long? Are you really that lonely? That pathetic?'**

Emma shook her head vigorously trying to get them out! "This isn't me! I know Henry loves me! Along with other people! They would be crushed if I died!" While she said it forcefully she knew as soon as her voice cracked that she was only trying to convince herself. She felt the tear streak down her check as the thoughts slowly but surely started to win the internal battle. The same battle she had dealt with for years.

She took a shaky breath quickly trying to find something to distract herself with. **'Just call Hook. He'll gladly come over and talk to you.'** She nodded her head pulling her phone out once again and calling only to get his voicemail… **'See told you no one wanted to spend time with you.'**

' **He's probably just busy. He does have a life, he'll call me when he gets the time.'**

' **No he won't…'**

Emma stormed up to her room determined to get a shower and wash all this negativity off of her. She hopped in quickly stripping before jumping into the scalding hot water. She let out a sigh of relief as she allowed the water to slide down her giving her the most comfort she had had all day.

' **Doesn't it feel good to hurt yourself? You know it does, that's where all those scars came from. Why not just a few more to take away the pain?'**

Emma rolled her eyes as she washed her hair effectively getting rid of the voices. She got out and got dressed as the phone rang. She walked eagerly towards the phone hoping for someone to talk to! "Hello?" She asked as she picked up the phone

"Emma?" It was Mary Margret.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Just got out of the shower, why?"

"Oh I was just calling to let you know we won't be home till late. David has a lot of work to catch up on at the station. Don't wait up on us."

"I could come down and help."

"No it's fine we've got it, night!"

"…yeah night."

She didn't know why she felt so terrible. She knew that it was just a situation. A completely reasonable situation…it was when she thought about the fact that Henry had plans, Hook was busy, and now her parents were stuck doing work and didn't want her help that bothered her.

' **They just didn't want your help. She basically begged you to be in bed when they got home. So they wouldn't have to deal with the likes of you after a hard day.'**

"No your wrong! This is just you trying to get the better of me! I have put up with you every day and I am sick of it! I am NOT going to stand for it any longer! I am DONE with you!" To anyone else she would look crazy talking to the walls, but to Emma this was a battle that she had just won.

'… **then end it…'**

' **What?'**

' **If your done with me then end it.'**

Emma usually would shrug that off. Let it go as nonsense or just being tired but…tonight, with everyone gone…it didn't seem like such a bad offer. No more pain, and no more being a pain to anyone else. Before she knew what she was doing she was walking towards the kitchen grabbing a knife and making her way to her room. She walked to the medicine cabinet grabbing a bottle of Tylenol before slowly sinking into her bed. She sat there with the one accessory in each hand. This was something she had to do. Because the voices were right. She was done.


	2. Chapter 2

They Never Knew

Chapter 2: Being Done.

Emma held her pale wrists up to the light examining exactly where she wanted this to take place. She followed her veins to the main ones that she knew would do the trick. She had just put the blade to her skin when she gasped hesitating! She hadn't thought about Amelia! Not one bit… **'Your and absolutely horrible sister. Get on with it she doesn't need you slowing her down or not caring about her any longer!'**

They were all right as usual. Amelia had always been there for her and when Amelia needed her most Emma hadn't been there. She shook her head trying her best to get rid of that horrible memory. That horrid day. As she thought about it she pushed the blade deep into her skin and harshly pushing it downwards to meet her wrist.

After one arm was done she grabbed the bottle and dumped all of it's remaining contents out swallowing them all. She took a sip of water to quicken the process. She then turned to her other arm making a symmetrical line to compare to the other. Emma relished in the pain that was consuming her. Giving in the fire that wanted to encase her. Emma didn't really feel bad. She was tired. Man was she tired. She was doing them all a favor anyway.

Killian Jones made his way down the street of Storybrooke. He had to admit this little town was growing on him, along with a certain savior. He smiled at the thought of Emma. They had shared a few moments together since coming back from Neverland. He never grew tired of talking to her and getting to know her bit by bit (that's all she ever allowed!). From what he had gathered she was an angel from hell. At least that's how he liked to describe her. His thoughts were interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket…"How odd…" He pulled out the little contraption that he thought people referred to as a cell phone. He grabbed it with his good hand and brought it up next to his face to see who was summoning him. Oh Emma!

He tried to press the buttons with his hook but it wouldn't do anything! "Oh come on!" He mumbled to himself wanting nothing more than to talk to her. He had to admit he loved every second he got with her. Even fighting with her could be entertaining if it didn't last long. He must have taken too long to answer the stupid thing because the next thing he heard was his voicemail pop up.

He waited for some sort of message but never got one. He shrugged figuring she wanted to hang out or something so he started to make his way toward the apartment. He made his way up the stairs and towards her door. He knocked waiting for a response…nothing. He told himself not to panic even thought he could feel his heart stop for a moment at the thought of Emma being in danger.

"Emma?" He called through the door…still no response! "Emma it's Killian open up!" He yelled a little louder this time in case she was up stairs. He was giving this one more shot. He banged loudly on the door positive she would hear it. "Swan open up!" When he received no response that time he kicked it open.

He looked around the room panicked. He didn't know why but he felt as though something was wrong. "Swan!" He yelled as he made his way up the stairs. "Swan can you hear me!" He walked slowly analyzing any place he could overlook her. He finally saw her form lying on the bed. He felt relief wash over him as he came to realize he was just being dramatic per-usual. He broke into a smile as he went to shake her…

That smile fell as he walked closer…"Emma?" He whispered hesitantly. He bent down next to her quickly noticing she wasn't moving. "Emma." He said in a normal tone to see if she would respond…she did not. He began to notice how shallow her breathing was, as though she were struggling for it! He grabbed her wrist ready to check her pulse when he felt something sticky connect to his skin. He turned on the light next to her bed to see it was blood!

He felt his heart stop as he turned Emma over to see her fully! She had to straight lines making their way down her arms each from elbow to wrist both of which were heavily bleeding! Her face was clamy and pale! He gently grabbed her face trying to wake her up! "Emma it's Killian please wake up!" There was no response.

Wasting no time he grabbed the stupid phone once again and called the only person he could think to help. The person that knew Emma best. "Hello?" He heard the confused women on the other end. "Amelia it's Killian I need your help! Please come to the apartment as soon as possible!" He would have cringed at how broken he sounded if Emma's life weren't on the line. He picked Emma up as swiftly and gently as he could muster carrying her down to the couch. There he held her hand as tightly as he dared.

Amelia was at the door within five minutes banging. "Hook!" He was opening the door as soon as he heard her. "What happened?" The look of fear on her face must have been some indication to Hook that he must have truly sounded desperate on the phone. He didn't know how to explain to her what happened so he just grabbed her wrist pulling her inside and dragging her to Emma.

He felt her stiffen next to him as soon as she saw her. He started to panic when she did nothing! "Amy!" He waved he shook her. It took her a second but she locked eyes with Hook. Hook had never seen someone look so fierce so…scared and angry at the same time. "Uh she called me and I came here and there wasn't a response so I went to her room and found her!" It was panicked and almost an unintelligible sentence but Amy understood.

She jumped into action quickly trying to heal Emma's wrists. Once one was healed she check that wrists pulse only to feel pure fear run through her veins…there wasn't a pulse…"No!" Amy cried as she stood over her broken sister. She wouldn't allow this to happen! She quickly placed her hand over Emma's heart allowing the magic to surge from her to Emma. Once she saw Emma's chest start to rise and fall she turned to Hook. There isn't time for this we have to get her to the hospital!

Amy refused to call an ambulance, she could get there faster by car. Hook gently placed Emma in the backseat before crawling in himself and putting her head on his lap. Amy glanced back frequently as she sped her way through traffic. 'How could Emma do this when she has a man like him devoted to her? Who cares so deeply for her!' Amy could feel her blood boiling for what her sister had done, but the most important thing to her was making sure Emma was ok!


	3. Chapter 3

They Never Knew

Chapter 3: Love makes it hurt

Authors note: So I just wanted to start off by saying thank you so much to all of the favorites and new followers! (Welcome btw), this is my first Once Upon A Time fanfic. and I am very happy that it was accepted well. I do have more chapters planned in case anybody wanted to know. Well...I think that's all I have to say for now so I'm going to shut up and let you get to what you came here for. I just wanted to say thanks. Alright, shutting up now enjoy!

Once they got to the hospital they wasted no time racing through with Emma in Hook's arms and Amy tailing right behind them. "My sister needs help!" Amy said as soon as she made it to the receptionist desk. There was no time for pleasantries. The nurse looked at her calmly before seeing Emma in Hook's arms. As soon as she saw the young women she spoke into a microphone about needing a doctor immediately. A gurney was pulled up and they carried Emma away on it! Hook and Amy in tow until one of the nurses held them back. They watched helplessly as the women they love was taken away from them.

Amy and Hook had waited for Emma to get out of surgery until a doctor came up asking Amy if she wanted Hook to hear Emma's condition. "Yes of course. She wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. She would have died…she is still alive isn't she?" The doctor nodded but it was hesitant. "For now she is. I'm sorry Amelia but your sister is in a disastrous condition. At this point is very iffy on if she will make it or not."

Amy didn't know how else to respond than to nod and demand that they be able to see her. They led them to her room where they could see Emma through a window. They were told only one person was allowed at a time. Neither wanted to leave the other and neither were strong enough to face Emma quite yet.

Out of fear and maybe guilt for not seeing it Hook reached out and grabbed Amy's hand in his own. She looked up slightly surprised but besides that showed no reaction other than giving his hand a tight squeeze.

She took a deep breath knowing what she had to do next. She pulled out her phone and searched her contacts for her mom. She heard it ring three times before hearing the familiar voice "Hello?"

"Mom?"

"Yes sweetheart what is it?"

Amy rolled her eyes at the nickname before continuing "I'm at the hospital you need to come as soon as possible-

"What is everything alright? Are you hurt?"

"No i-it's….it's Emma."

Authors note: Sorry...I did not realize how short this was. I thought there was a lot more to it...geeze now I feel bad. Anyway should have a new chapter out by the end of the week. I do have more plans for other Once Upon A Time fics. I also accept requests if anyone has something specific they would like to have done. I honestly really like the idea of doing something for a specific person so just to let you know your not putting me out. Anyway thanks a ton for reading and I shall see you again on Sunday (somethings going on with my computer I'm getting it fixed) Bye!

-It's Nothing Just A Wolf.


	4. Chapter 4

They Never Knew

Chapter 4: Now Everyone Knows

David and Mary Margret rushed their way through the hospital only stopping when they found their daughter! Mary Margret had no idea what was going on, only that her daughters were hurt! They rushed up to Hook and Amelia who were standing in front of the window that they assumed was their daughter's.

They rushed up before asking "How's she doing?" There was a moment of silence while Hook stared at Amy who seemed to not be responding to much of anything. "They're saying Emma tried to commit suicide." While he said this in a professional manner it killed his insides to use that word to describe her.

Mary Margret felt her heart shatter…"No she didn't. this has to be some sort of trap! Someone did this to her and is making it look like her! There is no way Emma would do this! She's too strong." All three noticed Amy stiffen at that last sentence…"Amy what is it?" Snow asked in a hesitant voice. She didn't turn to look at them and her fist hadn't quit clenching. "Nothing." She said in a tone that made them all wonder if she was actually telling the truth or not.

Snow tried to give it one more shot, "Are you sure?" They all just watched as she took a deep breathe were her eyes shut before responding. "Yes, I'm fine." She made sure not to leave any room for argument. Things seem to become awkwardly tense as they all took turns glancing at each other (all except Amy) and looking at Emma.

They all decided to sit while watching as Amy had not moved from her spot staring at Emma through the window. "Do you think she's going to be alright?" They heard Hook whisper not knowing if he was talking about Emma or Amy. "Which one?" David asked. He took a minute watching the young women stare blankly. "Amy, I already know how Emma's doing." There was a long pause as they didn't honestly know the answer. The girl had never come off the cold and stoic before. She was emotionless.

Finally they heard more rushed footsteps and the cries of "Where is she!" That was most definitely Henry. He ran over to where his grandparents were a panicked Regina and Robin in tow. "Is she ok!" Neither of the three knew how to tell the boy what Emma had done. "Tell me!" He screamed making them all stare even more hesitant. When he realized none of them were going to tell him the truth he went to the one person who had never lied to him. "Amy what happened to my mom?" The desperation was evident in his voice.

She didn't really know how to respond but she knew as soon as she heard him walk up that she would tell him. She would never lie to that kid. She slowly removed her eyes from Emma down to the kid before looking over at him. "Henry…your mom tried to kill herself." While she said this with no emotion it broke her heart to see the look of tragedy hit his face. It took him a minute but he pulled himself together enough to ask her one last question "Did she do it?" She thought about it before responding "No. She failed." Now everyone in the rooms head turned at the last comment. They didn't know what she knew.

Authors note: So this is the last chapter at least until Sunday, I just wanted to end off with something interesting. Also thank you so much for the favorites and reviews! They seriously mean a lot! So I don't have much time, just thanks again see you all most likely by Sunday. Bye!

-It's Nothing Just A Wolf


	5. Chapter 5

They Never Knew

Chapter 5

The Secrets That Were Never Told

Authors note: So really really sorry it's been a while! I mean...not that long but still, I said Sunday. Sorry some birthday for my Grandpa happened and I had to go (though it was kind of fun, talked about the future and stuff). Anyway, I tried to make this chapter somewhat longer. So if your still reading this thanks! Alright I'll shut up and let you get to the story.

Henry continued to stare at Amy not knowing how to take what she had said. "That's good isn't it?" Her emotions didn't change what so ever as she looked from him to her sister. "For us maybe." He shook his head once more, "How is it not good for Emma?" She shook her head in an almost irritated way before mumbling "Forget I said anything." At this point Hook stepped forward looking slightly aggressive. "No Amy, your closest to Emma and you know her best which most likely means whatever you have to say it will somehow be important for us to know. So whatever you need to say, say it." Most would cringe at the harsh tone of Hooks voice but Amy could see right past it. Killian was scared and frustrated.

Instead of responding she turned back to the window to continue starring at her sister. He watched as she closed her eyes tightly scrunching her eyebrows as if she were having an internal battle. She slowly breathed out opening her eyes before speaking "You don't understand this situation." He could tell she didn't want to go on but he couldn't help it. "What situation?" Her jaw clenched and unclenched as she grinded her teeth together. " **This** situation. Emma's situation."

Hook was quickly growing frustrated at her undescriptive explanation. "And what is Emma's situation exactly?" He could tell she was getting uncomfortable, the way she shifted on her feet her eyes casted down. "Emma…Emma's had a long battle with this sort of thing." Her gaze went to Hooks seeming to be trying to figure out if he understood. She didn't think he did (which he didn't) so she continued. "This isn't the first time she's tried something like this." She said quietly.

David stood up slowly trying to keep his temper in check. "And you only thought to tell us that now?" He asked tensely as he walked towards her. Finally lifting her gaze from the floor she glared. "Do you really think Emma wanted you to know? We both knew you wouldn't treat us the same. I can see it." At that last sentence both Henry and Regina became more alert. "You said us." Regina said quite confidently, she knew what she had heard.

Authors note: So hope you liked it! Sorry if it was a little...off. My thoughts are kind of jumbled because my sister got me sick. You guys can pray or hope or wish I get better if you want. It may make your chapters better. Anyway, there should be more chapters soon. I'm out of school after tomorrow so that should give me ALOT more free time! For those of you who are Hunger Game lovers I have the sudden inspiration to write a ton of imagines and fan fiction. I saw Mockingjay part 2 which was amazing! I just got done with a family movie night watching Hunger Games. I have quite a few ideas and I'm optimistic about it. Don't worry though I am not done with this story yet! I'm actually currently working on the next chapter. So nothing to worry about there. Alright see you guys later!

-It's Nothing Just A Wolf


	6. Chapter 6

They Never Knew

Chapter 6: When Secrets Spill

They all saw Amy tense up even more than she already had. "What?" The caution and venom in her voice was undeniable. "Why would we look at both of you differently unless…" She didn't want to say it but they all needed to know. It was important for both of the Saviors well-being that they know just how far this goes. "Amy have you tried this before?" The fear and hurt in that sentence was obvious. As much as Regina hated to admit it she had a soft spot for both of the girls.

She knew her answer as soon as Amy took that almost invisible step back. "Amy?" Snow whispered hoarsely. She wanted her daughter to shake her head and laugh and tell Regina how she was looking too much into the situation but…that's not how things go. It's never that easy.

Amy knew she was in a bad situation and lying to these people (people she had come to think of as family) would only result in pain. So she stood there face contorted in what could only be sadness. She stared at the floor with an intense determination. No one moved. No one knew what to say.

Finally after moments of silence Snow spoke softly as though it caused her great pain. "Why?" Amy looked up hesitantly to make eye contact with her mom. Her face hardened at the question. "What do you mean?" She knew what they meant but it gave her time to think up an answer. "How could things get so bad that you would want to kill yourself?" Her mother's words echoed through the hallways harshly. Her mom was mad at her, and it slightly broke her heart.

"None of you are from this world so it won't really matter what I say because none of you will understand." She said simply in a shaky voice. "Then make us understand." Her mother said in very commanding voice that only made Amy's blood boil. "Where do you want me to start?" She replied bitterly. "How about the beginning?"

Amy turned back to the glass, she didn't want to face them when she told them this story. "I don't remember much from being a little baby. I only knew about the tree from the newspaper. The earliest memory I have is living with a foster family. When we first got there I remember a little boy always looking out for me, then one day he left. After he left my life became hell. The dad of the house was a cruel man, you so much as breathed in the incorrect way and you were going to get punished…" Amy took a break visibly shaking as she did. As much as her parents wanted to reach out and comfort her they were still angry and hurt by what she had done in her past. They HAD to understand!

"Emma and I got kicked out of that home after he stated we weren't of any use to him and that the money he got for supporting us wasn't worth it. We were moved to an orphanage where the preacher showed us love. We hadn't been showed love before, it was nice to know someone cared…unfortunately we were only there for three months before someone adopted us. Emma was so happy and I was optimistic but we both knew we would miss that preacher…this family wasn't nice. We just didn't know it at the time. They showed us extreme amounts of confidence, gave us what we needed, and they showed us love too…that's when we started getting the nightly visits from the man who was supposed to be our father." Amy swallowed thickly as the memories she had tried so hard to forget came surging back, one tear made it's way down her cheek before she continued.

"Sometimes he would be kind and only do it with one of us, or he would only touch us not commit the real act…but other times…he would make us touch each other and him…Emma and I would try to scream but he went hit us hard enough to shut us up…afterwards Emma and I would take turns holding each other's hair back as we threw up." Amy was holding her arms crossed tightly across her stomach, something she had grown accustomed to doing to keep herself calm. She turned her head back slightly to see almost everyone in the room either crying or had looks of disgust on their face. She turned back to the glass before continuing.

Authors note: Yeah sorry it kind of ended weirdly. I have to get ready for Thanksgiving (Happy Thanksgiving btw!), so this is all I have time to write. I just wanted to put a real quick thank you in for all of the really nice reviews and all of the favorites and followings I got for the past chapter and all of the chapters before that! I am really excited to have people who want to read this and I just hope this chapter didn't disappoint. Thank you once again and have a great Thanksgiving!

-It's Nothing Just A Wolf


	7. Chapter 7

They Never Knew

Chapter 7

You Do What You Have To Do

"Emma and I eventually got away from there. We took to living on our on, we would steal from gas stations or convince someone to give us food or money. We would move frequently in fear they would find us and take us back. We would go from living on the streets to convincing someone to homeless shelters. It only lasted for two months, but it was the happiest we had been in a long time."

Flashback to 17 years ago

"Emma wait!" Amy yelled trying to keep up with her sister. "Well hurry it up then. We have to find shelter before the storm comes in." Amy ran to match Emma's pace. "Think about it Emma. We've been walking all day and haven't eaten in three days. I know you're as tired as I am." This caused Emma to stop and look at her sister. "We'll find food soon I promise, we just need to find shelter first." Amy as quick to counter her, "By the time we find shelter the storm will be too close, we need to get food now before it's too late."

There was a pause before Amy attempted to continue "Emma-""No Amy! We have to keep going! I would much rather go to bed hungry and be safe from the storm rather than the other way around!" She turned to start walking again but fell to her knees instead! "Emma!" Amy dropped to her knees as well putting her hand gently on her sister's shoulder. "Emma…are you ok?" Once the nausea passed Emma looked up to meet her sisters eyes before replying. "Ok maybe your right."

Emma at this point was too weak to help with their plan so Amy had to go in by herself on this one. She tried to be as discreet as possible when walking into the gas station. She couldn't help but give the clerk a friendly smile (that was just the kind of girl she was). She always felt guilty about doing this, but it was survival. She and Emma would survive.

She quietly picked up two bags of chips and two Slim Jims shoving them quickly into the pockets of her jacket. She took a minute to look at her reflection in the freezer, making sure that the food was secure and as natural looking as she should get she started walking to the doors. When there seemed to be no sign that she was going to be caught she made her way out the doors and to the safety of her sister.

If only she had realized her mistake she could have gotten away free. She knew someone was following her when she heard the footsteps coming. It seemed no matter what alley she turned down, no matter how fast she quickened her pace, they were always following her. Finally she stopped 'If I'm about to get caught for something I don't want to lead them to Emma.' She though reluctantly at what she was about to do. She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk slowly turning to face her competitor "Well you may as well come out."

When the people came out from the shadows she immediately recognized them to be her caretakers. The people who had been assigning her and Emma homes as long as she could remember. As soon as they were close enough Amy did exactly as she planned kicking one of them in the stomach effectively knocking them down and punching the other knocking them out cold.

After that she bolted for it as fast as her legs would carry her! Once she had gone back to Emma in the most difficult way possible she found her. "Emma! Emma we can't stay here!" She yelled collapsing against the soft cushion of a blanket. Emma looked up quite disappointed…"What are you talking about? I just set everything up, I even got a fire going. Come on Amy, its nice and warm here."

"No Emma! You don't get it! We have to get out of here now!"

Emma rolled her eyes quite annoyed with her sister. "And why is that?"

There was a pause as Amy decided whether or not she should scare her sister with the news. "Emma they found us." She hated seeing her sister stiffen and suddenly become a much more mature version of herself. Without saying a word they both started to pack up their things. "How long ago did you run into them? Do you know how they found you?" Amy hung her head in shame…"Yeah I know how they found me." Emma waited a minute until she realized Amy had no intention of answering. "It was the cashier. I didn't notice him at first but…he knew who we were. Either that or I came off suspicious. He called them while I was getting food. I saw him on the phone and didn't even think about it!" Emma nodded putting her hand on her shoulder "Amy this isn't your fault. How were you supposed to know he was talking to them? You couldn't guarantee-""That's the issue Emm! I should have left as soon as I saw him on the phone! I should have been more careful! Who CARES if I wasn't sure! I should have left for the pure fact I wasn't sure!" Emma knew exactly how she felt considering the last time they had run away and gotten caught it had been her fault.

They grabbed their bags hoisting them onto their shoulders before making their way "Freeze! Hands in the air!" They immediately dropped their things out of the fear that traced up their spines! Neither said a word as the police officers circled them, they didn't do a thing when they were handcuffed. What set them off was when they were taken to two separate cars! "No! What are you doing! That's my sister we stay together!" Amy could hear Emma yell at the officer as he attempted to shove her into the car. It threw her into a fit! "Amy! Amy run!" Amy knew at this point Emma was in panic mode and had no idea what she was saying. Amy had committed a crime and if she were to try to run the police would have the authority to shoot her. Either way she wasn't getting away.

"It's ok Emma! It's ok!" It broke her heart to see the look of complete despair on Emma's face as they shoved her into the car. Amy's view was blocked from her sister as they shoved her into her car as well.

It had been a few hours since their arrest. Amy sat numbly in her cell as she waited for CPS to decide her fate. Her head snapped up as the door opened revealing the only person in the world she cared about. "Emma!" She jumped up from her seat instantly hugging her sister as tightly as possible. "Hey." Emma mumbled into her shoulder. They finally pulled away keeping each other at arm's length. "Amy we don't have much time but do you remember where we said to meet if we were ever separated?"

Amy knew as well as Emma that she wouldn't be able to say where they were meeting for the known fact there were microphones in this room where they would be able to hear everything they are saying. So she simply nodded. She could feel the tears coming to her eyes at the thought of not being with her sister. "Good." Emma said quietly before pulling her into another hug. "I love you." Emma mumbled loud enough for her to hear. "You too Emm."

Soon after that they were separated. Amy didn't see Emma for two years, up until the day she turned 18 and could leave the foster system, and that's exactly what she did. She treaded her way to the woods to the exact spot where she and Emma were mysteriously found. She sat on a tree stump staying alert while waiting for her sister. Finally after an hour she heard the snap of a twig. She jumped up hiding in case someone had somehow followed her. She watched and waited watching the figure walk right up to the tree. She smiled lightly knowing exactly who it was.

She stepped out from behind the tree. "Hey Emm." She said quietly. Emma stayed where she was, analyzing her as though she was trying to see if it was Amy or not. "Hey Ams." They quickly brought each other into a tight hug. Each breaking quite easily into a fit of tears. "I missed you so much!" She cried into Emma's shoulder. She could feel Emma nod into her's "You too." They were both reminded of the day they were separated, holding each other at arm's length. Eventually after they had both come to see the differences they had formed over the last two years. Emma smiled pulling her arm around Amy's shoulder before pulling her along. "Let's go."


	8. Chapter 8

They Never Knew

Chapter 8

How Wrong Can We Be

Authors note: So…hi! I once again want to thank anyone who is still reading this, reviewed, and followed me or this story. When I started writing this I had no idea it would ever end of being as popular as it has (by my standards). I don't know what a norm for popular stories is but I am extremely proud of the 3,233 views this story has gotten! This is in no means meant to be a bragging note but I just wanted to thank you all! If you want something to listen to while reading this you can listen to Honeymoon by Lana Del Ray (at least that's what I was listening to when writing it)….see you at the bottom.

Amy smiled gently as she reminisced, she had almost forgotten she was talking to anyone. While those two years had sucked it was nothing compared to what happened after that. That thought quickly made her smile drop.

Her friends and family could visablly see Amy shudder as apparently one of the terrible memories consumed her thoughts. To say everyone was shocked was an understatement, they were horrified, guilty, or just sick. Snow had silent tears running down her face, David had angry tears and devastated that he had let this happen to his little girls. That the **world** had done this to his little girls! The thought made him angry enough to kill! Regina knew cruelty, probably better than the others, but she could not imagine a father figure doing something like that to an innocent little Emma and Amy. While outwardly you wouldn't see her saddened by the situation, if you looked into her eyes you could see that sadness.

The other men in the room took it quite differently. Robin was openly horrified he didn't care who saw it. He couldn't help but imagine if that had been his son, how angry he would have been! If that were him as a kid how scared! He felt like it would have been even worse for Amy and Emma. They were fragile little girls at the mercy of a man they called Dad. He just felt wrong. The whole situation was wrong.

Henry could probably most easily relate, and even he was lost in the whole situation. It was just dawning on him how lucky he had been to be in the adoption agency he was, and get adopted immediately. It scared him to death to know he could have been in the same position as his mom and aunt.

Hook was seething! Anyone could see that, but what no one else could see (except Emma or Amy) was that he was inwardly heart broken. What kind of monster could hurt those two? They had always been kind and loving. They were forgiving and treated everyone equally, they believed everyone deserved a chance. How could they even possibly think that way after the man they thought of as a father did that to them! After they had been betrayed so many times. Part of him couldn't help but be angry that Emma hadn't told him-though he understood why-more than anything though he was mad! If could get it out of Amy or Emma he would track the slime down and kill it slow and painfully. He knew that wasn't what either of these girls needed right now though. He put his selfish thoughts behind him though as he reached out to put a hand on Amy's shoulder. He could feel Amy stiffen at the touch but she quickly relaxed and put her hand on top of his without looking at him. She did what she had done all night and continued to stare at her pale sister.

Amy refused to look at him. She couldn't stand for any of them to see her weak. She was vulnerable, she knew that. Telling this story-her story-it was almost too much. She took a shaky breath too tired to cringe at how emotional she sounded before continuing.

"Once we were out we got jobs at some grocery store. We never stayed too long, it just wasn't us…after a while finding a job became hard so…" She was really dreading those words. She didn't want to tell them what they did. She didn't care what it was for, she didn't care how desperate they were. It was something she desperately wanted to forget.

Flashback fifteen years

"Emma where are we going?" A tired Amy asked.

"I already told you. We're going to find jobs." Emma replied quite annoyed

"Yes and we both know there aren't any. Face it we need to move again."

"No. We just moved in, I'm not ready to give it up."

"Which is worse, moving or starving?"

"We won't starve." Emma spoke determined.

"How do you know that?" Amy asked getting more and more irritated at not having any idea what her sister was talking about.

"I have a plan."

"Yes, I know you have a plan. I want to know what that plan is." Finally they stopped at the corner of a street. Emma turned to look at her sister before saying. "You're not going to like it." She looked guilty but that determination still hadn't left her face. "I can't no like it if you won't tell me what it is." Amy pointed out.

"Selling our bodies." She responded blankly. Amy just stared at her eyes wide, she finally responded laughing bitterly "Prostitution." She was cut off quickly "Think about it Amy, were both pretty, were good flirts when we want to be. We have the bodies for it. We could do it." Amy was balancing her options, Emma could see that. Starve or work. The more she thought about it moving wasn't going to be an option, they wouldn't be able to hitch hike very far on no food and they didn't have enough for a bus.

She hung her head in defeat before looking up at Emma, her eyes still doubtful. "What if we get a disease or end up pregnant? We can't afford any treatment and we can't afford to keep a kid. I don't know about you but I do not want my kid to end up in the system."

"We'll be careful I promise." Amy looked desperate for another option. "What if they hurt us? What if we try to refuse someone and they don't accept it? Emma I can't go through another Daddy Crisis." The Daddy Crisis had been the name they had settled for on what their false father did to them. Emma gently grabbed her sister by the shoulders "Hey, look at me. I won't let that happen. He's never going to get to us again." Amy nodded fighting to hold the tears back. "Fine, let's get to work."

Authors note: SO not really sure how I felt about the chapter. I know this is a really sensitive topic for some people. I am trying to be very careful while writing this. I guess maybe what I'm trying to show in this is that I don't think all people who sell their bodies are whores. I think they are just people who maybe have self confidence issues, a bad life, or are just in a bad situation. I am not in any way advertising it and telling you all to go out and sell your bodies! Please believe me on that! Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story and I will see you all again soon!

-It's Nothing Just A Wolf


	9. Chapter 9

They Never Knew

Chapter 9

What Being Desperate Entails

Everyone seemed to wait in an anticipating silence, Amy had stopped midsentence and was now in some sort of daydream (though from the look on her face it was more of a nightmare). They figured she would come out of whatever it was when she was ready. Though everyone had to admit the silence was all too painful. The only noise was the sound of Emma's heart monitor beeping throughout the hallway.

Back to Back Flash

Amy quickly came to the idea that Emma had been thinking about this plan for quite a while. From the way she was talking maybe the entire time they had been separated. It gave Emma a little piece of comfort to know her sister had at least thought this through. Amy held on to that little piece of comfort as though it were her lifeline.

They both stood in the cold shivering, it had been decided they would be both prostitutes and strippers. They had managed to get fake ID's and got a job at one of the local stripper clubs in the city. They would sell their bodies every day though. They weren't going to starve that was for sure! Emma looked over at Amy worriedly, the girl had hardly said a word since everything had been decided. She could tell Amy wasn't very comfortable with any of what was happening and part of her felt like a terrible sister for showing her sister this part of the world. She knew they needed the money though, they would only do it for a few months and then we they have saved enough they will leave this place and go find somewhere safe.

"Hey Emm?"

"Yeah?"

"I think our first customer is here." Emma followed Amy's gaze to see a good looking man come up to the two. That gave Emma more comfort when she saw her sister visibly relax. "Which one of you is Amy?" Amy managed to give him a heartwarming smile taking a step forward. "That's me, and your name is?"

"David." That Amy feel all the better. She had always liked that name and along with this man's face and nice smile she felt as safe as she could get. "Come along then Ms. Amy. I have booked us a suite in a nice hotel. I'm sure we'll both be happy there." He held his arm out for Amy to take. Amy could feel herself slightly blush at the gallantry of the man. She gave Emma a small smile before heading off with the man. Leaving Emma to watch and wait for her customer.


	10. Chapter 10

They Never Knew

Chapter 10

When Trust No Longer Exists

Authors note: Yeah…so I definitely own you all an apology. I didn't realize how short the last chapter was and I have been really busy as finals are starting to come around and my teachers think it's funny to test my fears. (If anyone has tips on stage fright it would be highly appreciated) I don't know if this one will be too long since I still have a lot of school work I have to do but I am going to attempt to squeeze this in and hopefully make it a little longer.

Amy was slowly letting her guard down and worse than anything she knew she was too. She knew after much experience that she shouldn't, that it would only lead to pain and sadness but she just wanted- no needed!- to be able to trust someone besides Emma! David seemed nice enough. He hadn't let go of her hand since they had left Emma. She supposed he could feel the nerves seeping off of her because she felt him give her hand a comforting squeeze as though he was saying 'I'm here for you.'

She knew this was probably her being ridiculous but as she already knew, she wanted to be able to trust someone. She knew realistically that she shouldn't find any comfort and going with this guy to sell her body, that it was extremely messed up…but then again so was she.

She heard him say something and decided if he was paying her she should try to pay attention. "I'm sorry what?" He laughed lightly and it made her part between a blush and a genuine smile. "I said I hope it's nice enough." He repeated as he held the door open for her. She shuffled through feeling she really shouldn't be enjoying this.

She froze in her tracks as she finally looked up from the floor! The place was beautiful, the walls were a golden color while the podiums were white and the floor was a beautiful tan tile. The staircase was white as well, it swooped into a loop going either way which lead to beautiful white halls with dark blue carpet. Amy felt herself smile as she thought about how white stands for purity and what they were here to do was definitely not pure.

She jumped slightly as she felt someone's hand lay gently on her midback and gently push her forward. "We need to check in first." She relaxed as soon as she heard his voice. She followed as he led them to the receptionist and stated that they were here to celebrate their one year anniversary together. She played along smiling and leaning her head against his shoulder to make it more believable. It obviously worked as the girl at the front couldn't have been much older than her and was so happy for them and congratulated them twice. As soon as they got into the elevator they both burst into a fit of laughter. "Did you see her face when you said it was our anniversary!" Amy spoke as she continued to laugh. "Or when you laid your head on my shoulder! Her lip pouted in one of those ways that a girl gets when she's happy for another girl!" They laughed all the way to their room.

Amy attempted to hide her blush as he held the door open for her once again. "You know you don't have to do that." Amy said with a kind, understanding smile. He shook his head giving her the same smile as though he knew what she had been through "No I want to." Amy squinted trying to figure this guy out. "Why?" He gave her a sly smile while pouring them both some of the wine he had bought prior to getting her "Why not? Don't you ever like to do kind things for people?" Amy was a little taken aback by the answer but she wasn't ready to drop it. "Well yes but this is different."

"How?" He kept using this joking tone that she didn't understand.

"Well I mean….we both know why I'm here."

"Are you being forced to be here?"

"Well I'm not going to back out."

"That's exactly why I like you. When your sister described you I knew I wanted to be with you. Your different than Emma, even Emma knows it. That's why I chose you…you're the only one who can't see it." He was basically whispering at this point, she could feel herself not wanting to break the silence either, but too many questions were still flowing through her head.

"What's so special about me?" She watched with sincerity and curiosity as he smiled gently at her. He leaned in closer so that they were mere inches away from each other. "I think that right there is one of the reasons. You're so special and you don't even notice. You're determined, beautiful, intriguing, and different. There's so much you haven't even discovered about yourself. You're so strong Amy, not to mention incredibly gorgeous. Or have you not figured that out about yourself yet?" She could hear the joking tone lurking in his voice. He leaned forward to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. She had to fight every urge in her being to not lean forward and kiss him. She was close enough, if she just leaned forward…it would be her first kiss. She supposed tonight would be a lot of first's for her.

She watched as he seemed to be analyzing every aspect of her face. Those beautiful brown eyes that seemed to be searching her soul. She smiled gently as he cupped the back of her neck pulling her into the kiss. Her lips immediately molded into his, his lips were warm and soft as though they had been molded from feathers. His fingers were kind and gentle as he cradled her face. When he pulled away she couldn't contain the gulp of air she breathed in. She couldn't help but chuckle softly, their noses still touching.

"That was quite amazing Mr. David." She brought her fingers up to play with the stubble along his jaw. She wanted to memorize this face, she wanted to remember it forever, to be with him forever. She felt herself brighten even more when he laughed and said "You did quite well yourself Ms. Amy." She felt good at pleasing him, she didn't want him to own her and she didn't want to be submissive to him, nothing like that. But the idea of pleasing the person that she had come to share her first kiss with it made her feel good. Just as she thought he was going to kiss her again he pulled away smiling jokingly and walking towards the bathroom. "I'm going to the bathroom."

Amy sat down awkwardly on the bed not really sure of what to do while he was in there. She waiting until he stepped out…shirtless. She tried to not show emotion but evidently surprise still leaked through her mask because he gave her an amused glance "Like what you see?" She shrugged trying to seem as though she didn't care "It's not bad." They both started laughing, he walked closer to the bed gently pushing her down so he was hovering over her.

He gave her the softest kiss she had ever received, it was even softer than the first. So gentle and innocent, most would never think it would lead to what they both knew was going to happen. The kiss quickly started to intensify, she felt his tongue slip into her mouth she couldn't conceal the moan that came up her throat. She pouted as he pulled away the laugh at the noise. "That was cute." She looked up at his slightly confused and slightly amused.

"What?"

"That noise."

"Hmm, glad you liked it."

"Makes me want to see how else to coax that out of you." She shook her head laughing before leaning up and pulling his lips to hers mumbling "Just shut up and kiss me." She could feel his hands maneuver their way under her shirt. Every place he touched was like ice sinking its way into her flesh (which was a relief considering how hot she felt). He quickly unbuttoned the silky blue shirt, he seemed to stop in his task to admire her. "What?" She asked embarrassed at the attention. He smiled "Nothing, it's just that you're so beautiful." She shook her head not believing a word he was saying. "You're just being nice." He seemed to become somewhat serious. "You don't think you're beautiful?"

"I think you're crazy." His eyes seemed to become determined. "I am going to make you see how beautiful you are." Before she could even ask what that meant he was gently cradling her hips, tracing lines along her stomach. He laid a gentle kiss on her bellybutton causing her to blush. "Your skin is so smooth and pale, not damaged like other girls. I don't know how but you make being shirtless seem innocent. It's extremely cute."

She laughed saying "Don't call me cute! You make me feel way younger than you!"

He gave her a reassuring kiss "Don't worry I'm only twenty." She had to admit she was relieved he wasn't old. "Well I'm glad." This isn't how she thought things would be. She always thought she would be extremely uncomfortable in this situation but with David…things were different. She knew it wasn't love or anything like that, but maybe it could be?

The night went by amazingly, I mean sure it hurt but it was magical. She had to admit she felt like a princess with him. She was resting her head on his chest when she felt a sharp pain in her arm. She immediately felt distorted and confused. She turned to look at David for help but saw him smiling at her. "Dillan something's wrong!" She tried to get up but the tug on her arm was excruciating! "David help me!" She looked around trying to figure out what was going on when she saw the needle sticking out of her arm connected to some sort of tube! "David what is this!"

She felt his hand gently touch her face "Shh Shh darling, it's all ok. I just didn't want your first to be painful. You see…my usual preferences for these kind of activities is usually a little more…intense."

"W-what are you talking about!" She was quickly growing scared! She felt him roughly grab her head and pull her in for a rather harsh kiss. Biting her lip hard enough to make it bleed. She hissed at the sensation. "Aah that's what I like to hear." She stared at him with terrified wide eyes….this was a side she hadn't seen before. "David what are you doing? What did you stick in my arm?" She inwardly cringed at the fearful wavering shake of her voice.

"Oh that's simple, I need you to stay calm and quiet while I tie you up. Nothing too serious. Soon you won't feel a thing. That's when the real fun begins." Now that she was paying attention and on guard she could feel her arm going numb. "No…you don't have to do this. I care about you." He cupped her check as gently as before but the look in his eyes no longer made her feel good. "Just close your eyes and relax." She watched as he walked into the bathroom, she could see through the crack in the door. 'Oh dear God…' She could see lengths of ropes and cuffs sitting on the counter. She knew she had to get out!

Authors note: So I tried to make this extra long to makeup for the extreme delay. I hope you enjoy! Also just for fun lets have a little competition to see who can find the little Once Upon A Time future comment Amy made to herself. Good luck and thanks for reading!

-It's Nothing Just A Wolf


	11. Chapter 11

They Never Knew

Chapter 11

When Trust No Longer Exists Part 2

Emma had been finished with her "appointment" for an hour no and still no sign of Amy. While she felt like she shouldn't be she did feel slightly on edge. The thought of what they were doing wasn't comforting in the least, but it's tolerable if you get the right customers. David looked and seemed like a nice person. From what she could tell just a gentlemen who had been lonely for too long. Isn't that why most guys that found themselves in this position? She looked at her watch and then towards the direction Amy had left in. She couldn't help the dread that started to rise in her stomach. 'Amy where are you?'

Everything was foggy, dark, then light, dark, light, dark, light. Were they shadows or just her blinking? She cringed every time a new wave or what she presumed to be morphine ran through her arm. She had to stay calm, she knew that. The first two times she woke up she would start to fight and get up which only caused her to knock herself out with the help of the drugs. Whatever she was going to do she had to do slowly.

She heard footsteps and had learned from the amount of walking that he does that it was David. His footsteps were very powerful, almost dominating in a way, but they were quiet and sly. Just like him. She scowled at the idea. How could she have been so stupid! She acted like a lovesick puppy! She trusted someone and this is what it got her!-

She was cut out of her thoughts when she felt someone gently touch her face. She knew her eyes were open but all she saw was black, black and shadows. She clenched her jaw not wanting him to see her shudder at his touch. She knew he had when he started chuckling. He gripped her chin tightly forcing her to look at him. "Keep your eyes open. I want you to see all of the nice things I'm going to do to you." While he said nice Amy could tell from the look in his eyes he didn't plan to show any kindness to her. In kindness he had shown was long gone.

She struggled against the roped that were around her wrists, she was tied to the headboard that much she could tell. He gripped her chin harder almost making her cry out (almost). He leaned in next to her ear and whispered "If I were you I wouldn't try getting out, if you do your punishment will be much worse." 'Wait a minute…punishment? Saying that me trying to get away makes the punishment worse which means there's already a punishment in place…punishment for what!'

"What did I do to you?" Her voice was low and calm, she was upset but that question was honestly one of curiosity.

"Hmm?" He was cleaning some tool (most likely something he would use on her…what fun!)

"Why am I being punished?"

He looked up his emotions confused her, he had a look of surprise on his face but also something of glee. As though he were happy she had figured this out.

"I'm glad you caught on. You see the way you are right now will never do. I don't completely blame you, with this face and my charming personality who could blame you for falling for me." As he said this she couldn't help but agree, what she hated even more about the whole thing was part of her still wanted to trust him. For him to just tell her he had been kidding and that he cared about her. She was vulnerable because she had let him in, and she knew it.

She couldn't help but still love this personality of his, not the tough, rough exterior but the gentle side of him (that for all she knew was an illusion he had put up so she would like him). Even as he talked so confidently of himself it all came off as good natured and sweet. As though he were still trying to break the ice with her.

"Listen to me Amy. I like you I really do, but if you're going to stay in this form of work there's a few things you need to know. One. Don't give your heart away. That is the worst possible thing you can do. Your different from the others yes, but parts of that are because you're so young and come off just wanting to be loved. All someone has to do is spend enough time with you to know that. It makes you sweet, I can put you in that category but that also means that guys will want to be rougher with you. They like to break the sweet ones. I suppose I could put you in the secretive category but that will require a little acting on your part." He stopped talking for a moment, just analyzing her face. He seemed to decide on something before saying. "Yeah, you're a mix of secretive and sweet. That's a new one. So many guys will want you…alright number two….well I'll have to show you those."

Two hours later

It had been two hours since all hell broke loose. After David's last statement he had started on teaching her the lessons. They were agonizing and after a while she didn't even try to hide her cries. Eventually she lost consciousness, which she welcomed.

When she finally woke back up she saw that it was pitch black outside aside from the full moon. She tried to get ahold of herself looking around to see what had changed. She felt her heartrate increase and her skin break out into a sweat. All over the covers leading up to thighs was large amounts of blood. She felt slightly relieved at how numb she felt. She peeled her eyes off of the bedsheet looking over at the bathroom and noticing the sound of a shower running. 'This is your chance!'

She quickly started running her arms up and down the bedframe as fast as she could while scanning the room for anything sharp…"Come on come one come one." She mumbled to herself almost inaudibly. She finally saw it poking out from under a piece of quilt. She started to move her leg to reach for it when the searing pain came tracing itself up her body! She waited a second trying to get it to fade off. When it finally seemed tolerable she tried to move her leg again toward the knife barely touching it with her toes. She struggled against the headboard trying to be as quiet as possible. Finally she got her toes looped around it pulling it towards her!

She froze as she realized she didn't have a way to get the knife back there. She frantically looked at different parts of her body trying to figure out which one would be most useful in getting rid of these stupid ropes! She finally decided on the way she figured it to be easiest. She managed to get her legs behind her back so that her fingers were touching the knife! She quickly looped them around it and started running the blade across the rope as fast she could.

She froze trying to stifle the panicked gasp that came from her mouth when she heard the shower turn off! 'Oh no no no!' She hoped and prayed to the God her adoptive mom used to tell her about that she would make it! Just as she was starting to think there was no point she heard a slight ripping sound and felt the ropes loosen on wrist! She quickly pulled her hands out from behind her amazed to see it had worked! She looked towards the bathroom again, the door was still cracked and she could see him shaving. He would have to be looking at her from a very specific direction for him to see her leave. She also knew that as soon as she opened that door it would be her only chance…if he caught her she was dead. She had seen the gun sitting on the counter right next to him. She still had the knife clutched in her hand so at least if he got close she could hopefully knock him over.

She wanted to do nothing more than curl up and cry, but that wasn't an option. She slowly and quietly got onto the floor crawling her way towards the door…once she reached it she turned the knob as quietly as she could-the door opened- She turned to see David walk out the door "Hey!" She swung open the door taking off down the hallway she knew they had come from! "Hey you get back here!" She could hear him gaining on her! She panicked even harder when she heard him click the safety off the gun! She tucked just as the gun fired! 'Get up go!' She screamed at herself! She made it to the stairs deciding that was safer than the elevator. As much as she wanted to get outside she knew the smartest decision was the get to the receptionist and call the cops. Besides she knew for a fact that near the receptionist desk there was a fire hydrant, if he happened to find her and walk in she could knock him out with it!

She ran through the lobby immediately jumping over the counter to see the terrified girl from before. "Shh, get down!" She pushed them both onto the floor before whispering "Do you have a phone in here?" She waited for the girl to nod. "Ok good I need you to call 911 and tell them there is a lunatic in the building with a gun." When the girl didn't move she got closer and tried so hard to keep the fear and frustration out of her voice! "Look I need you to do this! If you don't a lot of people are going to get hurt." Once the girl had dialed the number she let that situation go and started to look for the fire hydrant. Once she found it she stood next to the employee exit door with her fire hydrant in one hand and the knife in the other. All she had to do was wait for him to come in.

She struggled to keep her breathing quiet at the idea that what she was about to do wouldn't work and it would in return get her killed. She tried to push those thoughts out and focus on the situation at hand, that's when she heard the rushed footsteps. She could hear the doorknob slowly turning and braced herself for what would happen next. She attempted to make herself as small and invisible as possible against the side of the wall in hopes he would simply walk past her.

She watched and waited as he slowly and cautiously made his way into the center of the room. She watched as he slowly turned his head towards the front desk and she almost jumped when he yelled "Hey! What do you think you're doing!" She heard the young girl from earlier say something unintelligible and watched as he got ready to make his way toward her still yelling! That was her cue, she lunged herself at him from behind the door yelling "Get away from her!" She effectively knocked him down and watched as the gun slid away from the both of him. Unfortunately he saw it too, she ran towards the gun only to feel something grab her foot and attempt to pull her back! He flipped her onto her back pinning her hands and feel down with his. "Did you really think I would let you get away? Like I said before your precious to me and I intend to keep you!"

She saw the gap between her leg and his manly area and knew she had to go for it. Along with an unwilling yell she kicked his as hard as she could before pushing him off of her and crawling towards the gun. She grabbed it and turned it on him just as he was getting up! She watched as he froze, his face going from a look of pain and anger to a look of fear. He knew she had his life in her hands.

Now her newest mission was to keep him away from that girl. She knew she was behind him and that he could hurt her if he realized that too. She immediately knew not to look towards the girl that was the biggest clue in the world to cue someone in one the face something's behind them. It was the last thing she wanted. Finally deciding on something and knowing that the police were on their way she looked up to the girl for just a second before looking back at him. She watched as he turned to see the girl. Before he could make any move she hit him over the head with the gun. After making sure he was out cold she handcuffed him to some poll in the office area (the handcuffs were conveniently in his pocket).

After making sure he was secure she made her way over to the poor girl who was still in the corner where she had been basically the entire time. She bent down next to her looking her over. The girl couldn't have been much older than herself, maybe nineteen or twenty. "Are you hurt?" She was actually kind of surprised at how gentle her voice was. The girl shook her head no. She suddenly for some reason felt very sorry for this girl. Only hours ago this had been the same girl who congratulated them on getting married and now here she was completely vulnerable and not the same. She touched the girl's arm gently trying to comfort her. She knew she didn't have long before the police came and honestly wanted to be as far away as possible. "Ok, I need you to tell the police everything you know. Tell them about us saying we had just gotten married and how I ran down here to get you and how you called the police and that I attacked him. Don't lie, they'll know if you're lying and it will make you look suspicious. Ok?" She got ready to get up when the girl spoke her first words since she had seen her that day. "Don't I need to know your name?" Amy looked back at the girl smiling slightly before saying "No."

She made it three blocks down the street before she finally stopped to rest against a building. It was pouring and dark. It wasn't until making sure no one was around her that she broke down against that brick building. She wouldn't stop crying for a long time.

Authors note: Sorry it has been longer than usual since posting. I just really wanted to make this a long chapter and get through this flashback, so here it is and I will see you next chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

They Never Knew

Chapter 12

When Fear and Worry Creep In

Authors note: So I really wanted to thank anyone who reviewed. There were a few specific people who for some reason it would not let me respond to them.

So to Brianna-Beleaver I try to update at least twice a week and it's usually on Fridays and Saturdays, but obviously this one made it out early so it really just depends when the thoughts come to me. Sorry that I couldn't respond to you personally and I hope this makes up for it.

Ok so I'm also sorry that this is a late update, but better than never.

Amy had very little idea where she was. She was too out of it to try to retrace her tracks back to Emma. Whatever he had given her was still taking its toll. She tried to keep herself upright and she gripped the brick building tightly. She slowly slid her way down the side, leaning her head against the wall and allowing the rain to slip down her face. It did little to sooth her nausea but it did calm her. Made her feel less weak as she started to confuse her tears with the rain.

Emma was now more on edge than she had been in years. Most likely since the day they took Amy away from her (that never settles well). Giving up on the hope that Amy was going to find her she started tracing the steps her and David took by memory. She breathed a sigh of relief realizing the nice hotel he had been referring to was one of the only nice hotels in the area, none of the others were nearly as nice so she had a pretty good idea this is where he had taken Amy.

She made her way up the stairs of the entrance and hurriedly walked through the front doors. She immediately froze when she saw the place was filled with cops…'Breathe Emma, you haven't done anything wrong that they know of. This most likely has nothing to do with yo-Amy!' "No no no no!" She mumbled under her breath as she walked closer to try and overhear what was going on. She knew even in her panicked state she had to remain calm and not make any stupid decisions. She watched as the police officer talked to a young girl (probably not much older than her or Amy). She was completely distraught and looked like all she wanted to do was go home and sleep. "You don't understand, the girl that was here saved me!" That definitely caught Emma's attention…

"What do you mean she saved you?" The officer asked quite suspicious. Or at least that's how he sounded.

"This lunatic came into the office and was coming towards me a-and I could just tell he didn't have good intentions! He had thi-this look in his eyes…she had given me specific instructions to call the cops and then she went off the planning…or at least that's what it looked like. She hid behind the door with a fire hydrant and a knife. He came in with a gun. I think her original plan had been to sneak up on him but then he saw me. She jumped out and attacked him. She fought him for the gun and ended up shooting him in the leg…maybe. I-I don't know, I thought she shot him…it was strange though, it was like she purposefully didn't kill him. She was within range and seemed to know what she was doing…but she didn't kill him…" The girl seemed to fade off into thought with a concentrated look on her face.

"Ma'am I need you to tell me who this girl is." She looked at him in an almost frustrated way.

"Why does it matter! She saved my life!" He was taken aback and actually seemed to be considering why it mattered.

"It's my job. What can you tell me about her?" The girl seemed to be struggling to remain focused. She did seem to have a scratch on her head. Emma immediately wondered if it was a concussion and why the guy wasn't having her get a medical examination. "I don't know she…she was average height, long brown hair that was curled, she was pretty. She had these bluish green eyes, she had an oval head shape, pale, skinny I guess. She was nice but stern, she cared about everyone she came in contact with."

"You never did answer me, why won't you give me her name?" The girl shrugged as though it weren't a huge deal, but she did have a strange look on her face when she replied "She didn't give it to me. I asked her what it was but she said it didn't matter." That may have been a bit of a lie on her part but the cop didn't need to know that, besides she wanted to help her in any way she could. She figured telling the cop she had specifically said no would result in suspicion.

The girl happened to look up just then, that's when she noticed Emma watching…she squinted at her as though she recognized her…Emma and Amy may not have been identical but for some reason people had always been able to tell that they were related. She supposed it had something to do with demeanor. Emma watched unsure for a second before the girl seemed to make an inward decision and turned back to the cop "Look I really don't know what else to tell you. The creep is going to jail, I'm not injured, none of the guests are injured, I think what we all should be doing is thanking that girl. It's been a long day I would really like to go home now." The officer nodded his head giving her permission to leave, she gave him a sweet smile before making her way to Emma. Emma doesn't know why she immediately trusted this girl (probably had something to do with the fact that she talked so highly of the person she has a feeling was Amy) but she did.

"Hi." The girl stated simply, seemingly in a good mood for someone who was just attacked. "Hi." Emma said trying to be as nice as she could (though it still came out suspicious). "You know her don't you?" Emma was taken aback at how blunt this girl was…it wasn't stupidity. She could just tell, this girl seemed very wise. "This girl you were talking about, what did she say to you?" The girl had a gentle smile on her face and looked Emma right in the eyes as she spoke. "She was very genuine, she told me when I first talked to her that there was a crazy man in the building and that I needed to call the cops. I'm pretty sure she thought I didn't believe her, but I did. I didn't move because I was frozen in fear, but she wasn't. She told me in such a stern way that if I didn't call the cops a lot of innocent people would die. She said it in such a gentle tone though that I snapped back into the moment. I don't know why but one of the first things I noticed was that she didn't say 'good people' she said 'innocent' I could tell she had to have trust issues or a difficult life or something. I felt pity for her, it was soon replaced by respect and curiosity. She didn't seem to care what happened to her. Her only focus was everyone around her."

Emma was immediately impressed at the girls ability to read people. She felt that her and Amy could be friends with this girl. It was doubtful but maybe in another life. The thought brought a little comfort to her. She had to find Amy though. Everything would be alright once she found Amy. "Do you know where she went?" The girl seemed to think about it for a moment looking past Emma and towards the door. What Emma didn't know was she was replaying the moment Amy left over in her head. "No, sorry. I can tell you she ran straight." She pointed to the sidewalk before continuing "I hope you find her." Emma nodded getting ready to leave but something stopped her. "What's your name?" The girl smiled responding "Sophia." She gave Emma a small smile before turning and leaving her to find her sister.


	13. Chapter 13

They Never Knew

Chapter 13

Aftermath

Emma wanted nothing more than to yell for her sister but was too scared to if they would call someone to get them. She could feel her breathing getting rapid and panicked as she felt the search was becoming hopeless. She looked around desperately trying NOT to panic! "Come on Emma, don't give up on her. Amy has never let you down before she won't start now. You'll find her." She mumbled to herself as she walked down the sketchy alley. She heard tiny whimpers but didn't really think anything of it until she saw the girl up ahead of her, her long hair shining in the street light. She was leaning against the side of some building as looking down as though she had been vomiting. As she looked around panicked Emma saw the small locket dangling from her neck and knew exactly who is was.

She didn't know why but she stopped in her tracks upon seeing her sister. She actually felt her breath leave her for a minute before the reality of it all hit her, before she even knew what she was doing. "Amy!" She took off toward her not knowing what came over her at all! She watched as her terrified sister snapped up and was in the stance to run into she realized exactly who it was…though it wasn't the reaction she was expecting…not the reaction she was expecting. She clung to her as though she were her lifelong!-though in many ways she was-she couldn't help but break down when she felt Amy cling to her and start crying so hard her body shook with her. "Hey it's ok I'm here." Emma kept repeating, and she would have to repeat it for quite a long time.

Emma guided her back to the place they had been staying but quickly learned Amy wouldn't be able to stay there. She had a panic attack the moment they passed the hotel. Emma was proud and extremely impressed when Amy asked if the girl receptionist from the hotel was ok. Emma chuckled slightly keeping her arm firmly around Amy's shoulder. "Sofia, her names Sofia." Amy seemed to take this into consideration as they continued their walk. They walked in peaceful silence-or as peaceful as it could be-before Emma couldn't help but bring something up "Amy?" There was the immediate "Hmm" before Emma took it as her sign to continue. "Are you ok?" She could feel the slight tension in Amy's muscles before she forced herself to relax. "I'm fine." There was going to be no more to that response that much Emma knew. "You know it's alright for you to not be alright?" Amy was staring at the ground with an intense ferocity. She refused to look at Emma. "I know, but I'm fine. We do need to leave before the cops find me though." Emma nodded knowing at least for the time being Amy would not be giving anything away. The rest of the walk was continued in silence as Emma continued to worry about her sister. Amy felt nothing.

Amy could barely stand up straight, but Emma hadn't seemed to take notice of it yet so they kept going. She didn't want to stop anyway, stopping meant her thoughts could overcome her. If she was moving-if she could hear the crunch of her shoes sliding over the snow- it was noise. Noise that she could use to distract herself from her mind screaming at her. There were so many things yelling at her she couldn't even understand what she was being yelled at for. Though somewhere deep down she was sure she knew.

Emm could hear Amy struggling to keep up with her but she was scared to say anything in fear that Amy would snap at her. She could tell Amy was just a blog of tension right now, she also knew when her sister got stressed she easily snapped and there were only two of them so her options of people to snap at were limited. Emma didn't know why exactly but she felt the need to hum. She rolled her eyes at how stupid this was going to be sense the random humming and singing and all the flamboyant things she left to Amy. She hummed the first thing that she found comforting which just happened to be Ours by Taylor Swift.

She felt a surge of embarrseement flood through her as Amy stumbled upon hearing her humming-she knew this was as out of character as Emma did-she turned around to see Amy giving her a small smile. Emma suddenly only wanted to see that smile stay on her face so she started singing the words too…

So don't you worry your pretty little mind  
People throw rocks at things that shine  
And life makes love look hard  
The stakes are high, the water's rough  
But this love is ours

She was now walking backwards so she could watch the emotions crossing Amy's face. She was watching Emma in what she could only decipher as admiration. She laughed out loud herself when Amy joined her…

You never know what people have up their sleeves

Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me

Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles

But I don't care 'cause right now you're mine

They continued to go back and forth until they were finally just singing together, and Emma had to admit they sounded pretty good…

And it's not theirs to speculate  
If it's wrong and  
Your hands are tough  
But they are where mine belong and  
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith  
With this song for you

'Cause I love the gap between your teeth  
And I love the riddles that you speak  
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored  
'Cause my heart is yours

So don't you worry your pretty little mind  
People throw rocks at things that shine  
And life makes love look hard  
Don't you worry your pretty little mind  
People throw rocks at things that shine  
But they can't take what's ours  
They can't take what's ours

The stakes are high, the water's rough  
But this love is ours

They sang as they continued down the road, neither having laughed this hard in years. This didn't meant the problems were gone, they both knew that. But these were the good moments, the ones that counted. All the other stuff would still be there in the morning. It is ok to live in this moment for now.

Authors note: SO I'm really really sorry that this took so long. I actually wrote this yesterday and forgot that I hadn't published it. I don't really have a better excuse than that other than my relatives were bothering me. So hope you enjoyed the chapter! Have a great weekend everyone!


	14. Chapter 14

They Never Knew

Chapter 14

You Couldn't Have Been There

Amy tried to shake off the memories as she came back into what was happening and where she as. She furrowed her eyebrows as she touched her cheek feeling a tear. She looked at it confused. She hadn't cried over that situation in a long time, then again she hadn't thought of it in a long time. She cleared her throat before turning around. It broke her heart to see their faces. It was cringe worthy seeing the sympathetic looks. The worst was making eye contact with her parents though…they both had tears rolling down their eyes. "Amy we never knew…why didn't you tell us?" Her mom whispered. She couldn't take it anymore she turned around fast back to facing the one person who could understand. "It's just not something I like to talk about. Let's leave it at that."

Hook shook his head angrily "You could have come to us any of us!"

"You weren't around when that stuff was happening to us!" They were nose to nose, two people who had become great friends were now screaming at each other. Amy wasn't afraid of him and Hook knew it. He was eternally grateful she wasn't most of the time. This just wasn't one of those times. "You don't get it, none of you ever will." Her voice was deep with hatred and sorrow. She sounded purely evil, something no one had ever heard from Amy.

She was breathing hard trying to control herself as she clutched her arms around her stomach (something she had done over the years to comfort herself). Everyone was silent waiting for Amy to speak again, when she didn't Hook finally gave a defeated sigh knowing the story wasn't done and that none of them were willing to leave until she had told the entire thing. "What happened after that?" Amy turned to look at him and then the rest of her family. Something evidently went on inside her head because she shuddered before looking away.

"Things got really hard for us after that. Any of the guys Emma had lined up for us didn't know where to find us since we dropped contact and moved towns to stay away from the cops. No one was really willing to hire two teenage girls with no phones or address so we had to keep the jobs we had…-"Prostitution?" You glanced over your shoulder, it was your mom who had said it, that much you knew. She was shaking and trying so hard to be brave Amy couldn't stand to look at her.

She nodded her head, "Yes." Was the simply answer she offered. She took a shaky breath before continuing. "We were becoming weaker by the days. The more we tried to make money and get by the weaker we got. There were times I remember Emma coming back to where we were living at the time almost passed out on whatever they had given us…that's where we ran into the drug issue…"

"You let your sister get into drugs?" She didn't have to turn around to know it was Regina who had asked. She felt herself losing her temper again at the accusation of that question. Amy couldn't help it as she laughed bitterly. "What?" Came Regina's suspicious and confused tone. She turned to look at her, the slightly amused smirk playing at the corners of her mouth almost making her look like the old Amy…almost. "You act as though I could control her."

Amy shook her head the smile slowly making its way off her face as she continued. "We were still so young, we didn't really know how addictions worked and how easy it was to look past the signs…I was worse than Emma. Emma was the one that got them first, but once I found out how there was no stopping me…it was an escape. For the job I was doing I needed that escape desperately."

"No one blames you." Came that tender voice that was her mom. It made her want to burst into tears and go back to being a little girl so she could cry in her mom's arms and be protected from the cruel world, but that ship had sailed. "I do. I blame me. I wasn't strong enough to handle the pressures that came with that job. Anyone who says those girls are weak is completely wrong…they have to be strong to make it through…anyway, I remember noticing small things about the way Emma was acting but it was nothing compared to how I ended up. I was…sick, desperate, vulnerable to anything and anyone." The disgust rose up in her voice as she talked, but there was something else there…fear.

Flashback

Amy had been up for hours waiting for her sister to return. It was getting colder and colder by the days. They were living in a little tent like home that was part of an abandoned building that they had outline with blankets. Amy personally liked the way it looked, but it wasn't helping with the fact that there was no insulation.

She sat there shivering and worrying the longer and longer the hours went by as Emma failed to show up. The fear slowly creeping up in her feeling the same way she did that first day. It was a regular fear, anytime one was late the other worried about that exact thing. More so her than Emma. She was about to go look for her when Emma stumbled in through the door. "Emma!" Amy yelled worried as she bolted towards her sister! "What happened? Where were you!" Her voice becoming rougher the longer it took Emma to respond effectively increasing Amy's stress. When there was no response she shook her hard "Emm!"

Her sister looked up at her, eyes glassy and red as though she had been crying. Which wasn't the case since there were no tear tracks to be seen on her face. She saw the panic go through Emma's eyes and she quickly grabbed a trash scan and held Emma's hair back as her sister threw up into the trash can.

She watched feeling helpless. She rubbed Emma's back as she finally started to heave instead of actually throw anything up. This worried Amy any time it happened, they ate as little as someone could get by on and here her sister was constantly losing it. She wasn't much better but her sister was quickly losing weight she couldn't afford to lose. When her sister was finally done she held Emma close to her as she cried. Emma had always hated getting sick and became very vulnerable when it would happen. Amy thanked her lucky stars that Emma usually got sick once she was home and in the company of her sister instead of the sickos who gave them money.

"Shh, it's alright. Emma you're going to be fine. You always get over this. Tomorrow would be better." She chanted to her sister as she slowly calmed down. She smiled slightly as her sister started to hiccup. It was always a sign she would fall asleep soon and Amy couldn't help but find it adorable. "I don't understand why they have to give us that stuff. I never ask for it and I'm going to do what they want anyway. Why make me suffer more than I have to?" Amy thought about it for a second almost not sure if her sister wanted a reply or not. "I'm not sure Emm…their just cruel I guess." There was another pause as Emma's hiccups started to pass. "Do you think things will always be like this?" Amy looked down at her sister who was looking ahead of her staring at something on the floor. "I'm honestly not sure Emm. Maybe we can save up enough money and get ourselves a little house and work on getting real jobs. Who knows maybe we'll start our own company or something. We could be singers, or designers, or detectives. We can do whatever we want." Both girls smiled at the thought. Amy felt Emma get heavier against her and looked to see she had fallen asleep. She positioned herself comfortably trying not to wake Emma up before turning off the light and falling into a sleep filled with that of David and all the "lessons" he taught her.

Authors note: Hi! Again I'm very sorry I was late posting but hey I got two chapters in so I would say today was a success! I think this chapter is pretty long so that should make up a little... so I really liked the last chapter I did and was quite happy with how it turned out so this one was a little harder to duplicate. I wasn't too impressed with it but I hope you like it! Have a great Saturday and have fun watching the game...you know if your into that type of thing.


	15. Chapter 15

They Never Knew

Chapter 15

Why Didn't We Notice

Hook's Pov.

Everyone was silent as Amy randomly stopped talking. Her last sentence being about how Emma came home drugged! How could no one have noticed! These girls had never come off as terrible as their stories were. I mean sure they weren't perfect but for the lives they had they sure came out like angels. Amy seemed to be in some sort of trance, she just stared at nothing or maybe it was something to her and nothing to anyone watching.

He just wanted to pull her in a hug but wasn't sure if it was the right time for that. He wasn't sure she even wanted to be touched while talking about these situations. Everyone seemed to be as lost as he was on what was going on with these girls. Emma in a hospital bed after a suicide attempt and Amy in some trance while she thought about her past as a prostitute. It made him sick to think about all the crap these girls had been through.

Regina

Regina couldn't help but be angry! She knew how desperate these girls must have been with the situation but drugs were never the issue! She supposed she could understand Amy after being raped and still working in a sexual environment would be in Hell everyday but Emma…why on Earth would Emma allow herself to be pulled into that!

Amy seemed at the moment to be pulling each memory apart and settling on what she was going to tell the group listening, something that infuriated her! She was starting to feel bad about blaming Amy for Emma's drug addiction. She was sure some part of Amy thought Regina was blaming her for Emma's suicide attempt too but that was **not** the case. She could tell Amy was mentally being ripped about the situation she was in right now. She was being basically forced to tell this group of people she cares a lot for her entire life story that her and her sister suffered through. It is obvious that Amy has done everything in her power to keep these memories at bay, not to mention her sister is possibly dying before her eyes. It would be too much for anyone to take, then again these girls seemed to be able to withstand anything. How could no one have noticed! They're around these girls everyday! Was there never a sign? Was there a flinch? Any sort of emotional reaction to anything that had to do with anything they had been through? Or had no one cared?

Robin

Robin was very close to leaving the room. As curious as he was to hear the entire story it was almost too much to watch someone he had come to consider a friend have to tear back through her painful childhood to retell it to people who knew next to nothing about her. He was really no longer surprised at what Emma had done, what he was confused on was how Amy had not attempted the same thing. Just from the way they presented themselves and took care of things Emma had always seemed to be tougher than Amy. Don't get him wrong, both girls were extremely strong. Amy had just always come off more delicate than Emma. Yet here Amy was dealing with the consequences of what Emma had done. Part of him was furious at the blonde for not thinking about how this would affect her sister! How could she leave Amy to deal with all of the questions and accusations that were now being thrown at her! Another thing that bothered him was how come no one noticed? He hadn't been in Storybrooke very long but these other people had known Amy and Emma for years! Had no one ever thought to ask if they were ok? If anything was bothering them? Were there never questions about their past? How did no one notice how broken these girls were?

Henry

Henry had tears running down his face as the story went on and on. How could his mom and aunt have been through so much and still be strong and happy for everyone around them. It was obvious now that they weren't happy in private, that these past memories were always there haunting them. The shake of Amy's voice as she spoke and the actions his mom and taken were pure signs of that.

He knew they needed support right now and was honestly mad at the rest of his family for not showing it! He was furious at his mom for yelling at Amy like she had any control over the situation! How great were Amy's options? Let Emma go into prostitution by herself, or starve? Neither were overwhelmingly comforting. He was worried about Amy has her lip quivered and her hand shook as it rested against her mouth. Her eyes were lock on something invisible to everyone else in the room, but he was sure it was of great importance to her. He just couldn't help but wonder how no one had any clue as to what they had been through?

David

David was fully disgusted with this world his daughters had grown up in. Did no one think to wonder how old these girls walking the streets were! Did these monsters of men not think to wonder if it was a good idea to sleep with an eighteen year old girl! Did they not wonder why these girls were willingly letting themselves be used to satisfy the selfish desires of men from this world! Or was there no questioning because everyone knew what was going on? Was it obvious and common what his daughters did to survive? He had never thought about it before but now that he did…he was horrified. He wanted nothing more than to take his daughter in his arms and hug her and tell her how sorry he was, but he wouldn't because he had no right. His daughter had suffered immensely because he had tried to protect them. How did he not think something was wrong? How did he not notice any signs! Anything that would indicate abuse! How did he write it all off as normal! What kind of parent was he?

Snow

Snow had long since had to stop looking at her daughter. Everytime she did it only reminded her of how young they both still were which made her think of how young they had to have been when all of this took place. Every moment the story went on the worse it got. The more she knew about her daughters the less she wanted to know, but she knew she needed to if she was to be there for them and help them get through this. She refused to believe that Emma would not be alright. She was already planning out exactly how she would handle this and what she would say to both of her daughters when this was over. When there was no more story to tell. Only problem was is how no one noticed. She had lived with these girls! How had she never noticed a single issue! She knew they had trust problems, and were terrible picking guys but…how could it have all gone wrong. She had wrote it all off as dumb mistakes made as a teenager but that's not how it ended for these two. It wasn't like a drunken one night stand where you wake up the next morning and regret what you did but you move on. These girls have to live with all of that regret every day because it was their only way of survival! What made it all worse is that she was their mother and could do nothing about it. She can't fix them. She sure was going to try though. They would be alright they had to.

Authors note: Hello, so because I don't know when the next chapter will be out and I've gotten a little ahead this will hopefully suffice. I had a lot of people saying they wanted another chapter from the other character perspectives so that's what I went with. If anyone has any suggestions or comments I would appreciate them. While I'm on the subject I want to thank anyone who has favorited me as an author or this story or has been nice enough to review! Thank you so much and you all keep me inspired to keep going with this story. Also thank you to anyone who has even just read one chapter, this story has reached 8,000 views! (Something I thought impossible for my stories). So thank you had I hope you all know I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I am eternally grateful to you all. Ok, I'm done. Have a great day guys.

Response to a guest who posted about me not being a fan of David and not having him in here, here you go :). Funny thing is I had finished writing this the day before you sent that review, lol I'm totally not mad I just thought it was really funny. Definitly one of the more amusing reviews. Anyway hope you didn't mind that I responded on here (it was the only I could respond) thanks for the review by the way!

Also one more thing, does anyone know how to moderate a review so that you can respond to it? I have no idea how. Anyway thanks for reading and hope you guys have a better week than me. Also would really appreciate it if you could wish me or luck or pray for me (you do you) on feeling better, it has not been an easy week for me and my sister and I'm not completely over whatever it is I have. Would highly appreciate it. Have a great day guys.


	16. Chapter 16

They Never Knew

Chapter 16

Why Is Being Good So Hard?

Amy knew that people were crying behind her, it was honestly making her feel really on edge to the point of irritation. She couldn't help it! She always got irritated in stressful situations. She knew she couldn't blame them for being upset, but she could blame them for pressuring her into telling this story. She decided it was best to just watch Emma, she felt comfort in watching her sisters chest fall up in down. It may have been the only good thing in this entire situation. All of the terrible memories kept weighing themselves down on her to the point she was losing track of what she was telling them.

Finally she heard who she thought was her mother mumble her name. It felt so wrong, to hear her mom that vulnerable. As long as she had known her as both Snow White and Mary Margret she had always been strong and independent. She had only ever seen her vulnerable in the jail cell, this was different though…worse.

She cleared her throat frowning "Oh, right sorry…umm there really isn't much else to tell. We both were addicted to drugs. Once I saw what was happening I immediately quit…Emma wasn't going as easy. She had been on them longer than me and she didn't see it as an issue. It was just a way to forget. I guess in a way you could say it was like dying and going to Heaven while Hell was happening around you…" Amy spaced out a second realizing how strange it was that her sister did something that they both signified as dying for a short period of time and now here they were actually living it out. The drugs were easier.

"Those first few weeks of letting the drugs go were miserable. I was constantly sick, losing weight, not eating, shaky, and delusional. I felt like my entire world was falling apart. It was strange Emma wasn't mad at me for stopping, but she wasn't happy I was quitting either. She didn't really care either way. As long as I was happy. I remember her exact words when I told her I was going to stop. "Amy, I'm here for you no matter what. If you think that's what you should do then go for it. I'm not going to stop you." Amy couldn't help but smile at that. Emma had said it so casually as though they were talking about the weather.

Flashback

Amy was so thirsty! She savaged through their little house looking desperately for anything to drink! Usually there were water bottles or something! There wasn't even booze today! Everything hurt. She forced herself to shuffle over to the trash can as she felt her breakfast come up. She clutched the trash can as her body forced her to empty herself. She finally was able to sit it down and made her way to extremely tiny bathroom (yes they had upgraded from the tent. They were now living in a cheap hotel) She grabbed onto the sink as she tried to keep the objects around her from moving. She splashed some water onto her face and made the mistake of looking up…it was scary! Her eyes were sunken in from weight loss and lack of sleep. They were also red and puffy from the lack of drugs. Her cheekbones and jawbone were both protruding from under her skin. She shaklely grabbed the hem of her shirt lifting it up only to gasp at what she saw! Every one of her ribs were extremely visible, her hip bones stuck out and quite honestly she looked like it pained her to breathe.

She forced herself to look away as she felt the sudden goose bumps appear on her arms, side effects from both the drug withdraws and the weight loss. She slowly made her way out of the bathroom struggling to keep herself up. She quickly found a blanket sitting on her bed and wrapped it around her tightly before heating up the water to make herself some of the hotels disgusting complementary coffee. She would do anything to get warm though. As her thoughts got more and more negative from looking in the mirror and thinking about what she had done to herself-what this lifestyle had done to her-she attempted to make a list of the good things that were happening. At the moment she wasn't craving any drugs, not even heroin which had been the worst of late. She had no desire what so ever to take anything and that was the best feeling yet. She also knew from her research that she most likely had another week or two.

She smiled through her weak state, proud of herself for not failing to get through this so far. She was still worried for Emma. While Emma had been fine with her quitting Emma had made it clear she had no intention of quitting. She could tell Emma was suffering too, the only difference being she could simply take more of the drug and last a little longer than Amy could. Amy just focused on helping Emma since it gave her something to focus on rather than drugs.

Of course this meant that her job was now more difficult than ever before. Every time she felt a guy touch her she pictured David! They could be the nicest person she had ever met but David didn't cease to cross her mind. She still screamed at night thrashing and kicking so much Emma would have to pin her down so she didn't hurt herself. She would wake up coated in sweat and tears streaming down her face.

Emma had been kind to her since her decision and was doing more work so that Amy would have time to recover. (Amy wasn't a huge fan of the idea but after quite a bit of convincing and a look in the mirror it was an almost easy decision) Besides no guy was going to want to sleep with her with the way she looked at the moment. Amy slowly dragged the trash can towards the bed where she in almost robotic motions slid onto the bed piling every blanket that existed in their house onto her. It didn't help her shivering but it was enough, she fell into a restless sleep.

Emma came home a few hours later from another job. She was longing to get into the shower and wash the grime off of her. She shivered as she made her way into the house (the hotel kept the heat way too low, but hey at least they were nice). She quietly made her way to their room sliding her key into the slot before walking into the room. They had neighbors that she would feel bad waking up and she figured with the state Amy as in she would be sleeping.

She looked around the room as she made her way inside. She immediately looked to Amy's bed to see her sister coated in sweat lying on her bed dead to the world. She gave her sister a sad smile before coming over to check her temperature. She had a fever, 101.6…not enough to take her to the hospital. It was enough to make Emma worried though. After looking to make sure every blanket except one was on Amy she grabbed some change and made her way down the hall to the snack room. She looked through finding a sprite for herself and Amy. She had researched the symptoms of withdraws and knew Amy had to be suffering from dehydration. She was also pretty positive that Amy was surviving off coffee and crackers.

She made her way back to the room setting one of the cans of sprite on the nightstand next the Amy's bed before taking a sip of hers. She decided to clean up a little bit. She started sorting out clothes that needed to be washed and throwing away plates. She got to one cup that she was sure was Amy's. She looked inside to see the remains of the hotels crappy coffee (yep.) she smiled to herself slightly proud that she knew her sister well.

She checked on her one more time before making her way to the shower. When she was done she shuffled to her bed eager to get under the warm covers. She turned the lights off making sure Amy wasn't showing signs of another nightmare before allowing herself to relax and fall into a deep sleep.

Authors note: So I'm sorry that this is pretty late in the week. It's just been a really stressful week and I'm tired and I've had a hard time focusing. I promise I will be back in the zone soon. I just need to sleep for a few days. Anyway enough of me complaining, I hope you all liked this and hey it turned out longer than I thought it would be. See you all soon!


	17. Chapter 17

They Never Knew

Chapter 17

Authors note: Hey guys so I don't think I'm late this time (pulls out watch) nah I'm not late. So really quick so you guys can just go ahead and get to the story. I wanted to give another quick thank you because I am truly grateful for all the support this story and myself have gotten. This story started out as a thought brought on by boredom and imagination. I never thought that it would end up being viewed by 9,000 people and to know that's true brings me the upmost happiness! When I'm having a bad day and feel unimportant all I have to do is think of you wonderful people who are enjoying this story. So thanks for helping me to get through my days. Ok the rest of this authors note is just a response to someone, the rest of you can skip to the story.

 **Response to: This story is good. However the whole "David" thing is just odd like it's almost like i*** when you read it.**

 **Ok so I'm going to assume that bleeped out part you were going to say incest. Yeah, I can see where some might think that. You're not the first to comment on it lol. Thanks a lot for the compliment! This one for some reason really touched me. I certainly hope the idea of incest didn't make you too uncomfortable. That was not my intention, just to clarify (I'm not sure if this was actually a question you had or if I'm just misunderstanding. Please feel free to correct me if I am misunderstanding) this David that did those things to Amy is not the same David also known as Prince Charming. This David was just some random guy who had some sick ideas of fun. Hope that answers any of your doubts, yeah I do have a plan behind giving them the same name though. I didn't do it just for awkwardness. Thanks for the review! Hope me putting it in the story doesn't overstep boundaries…too late I suppose.**

 **Now to the story…**

In The End We'll Be Fine

Amy woke up sometime later confused to why she suddenly had a blanket on her. She slowly sat up trying not to disrupt the easiness of her stomach. She looked around confused until she saw Emma laying in her bed looking absolutely exhausted. She sighed sadly attempting to get up, she hated feeling this fragile. She slowly shuffled towards Emma trying to keep up straight, clutching her stomach along the way. Once she checked Emma's head to make sure she didn't have a temperature (a side effect that sometimes occurred with the drug) she filled her cup of water up leaving it next to her before heading towards the bathroom for a shower…just one more day and then she would get back to work.

The water running down her back made her focus in a way. She didn't feel as confused in the shower. She allowed the water to run over her eye lids. It felt as if the water droplets were saying 'hello'. She smiled at the ridiculous thought. She clutched her arms to herself feeling like that same lost girl who would hitch hike along roads. She wanted so badly to find their parents! She just wanted her mom to hug her and cuddle her! A dad who would beat the living crap out of any of the douche boyfriends they brought home…'yeah that would be the life.' She smiled bitterly shaking her head she could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks, her throat closing up painfully as her shoulders shook. She covered her mouth to keep from waking up Emma. She fell to the ground curling up into the comfort of the water. All she wanted was her parents.

Emma woke up red eyed and still in the same clothes that she had come home in as she heard a door gently open. She rubbed the disgusting dirt out of her eyes as she saw a blurry image of a brunette with wet hair and a tea shirt with jeans. "Hey." Her voice came out raspy and tired, which was basically how she felt. "Hey." Was her sister's response. She started to get up when she felt her legs give out from underneath her. She felt arms wrap around her stomach as someone supported her "Hey!" She could immediately hear the worry and surprise in Amy's voice…she sounded tired too. Emma wondered how long it would be until she gave out. She felt herself be laid back onto the bed as Amy really couldn't keep her up. She was trying too hard to keep her eyes open, they just weren't listening. She could hear her sister's scared screams as they faded in and out, becoming more faded by the second. "It's ok…" Was the last thing she remembered saying before she allowed the darkness to envelop her.

"Emma…" It came out weak and frail and laced with fear as she watched the light drain out of her sisters eyes…"Emma!" She shook her hard as her sister wouldn't respond. She quickly put her two fingers to her sister's wrist waiting for the reassuring pulse. After heart breaking seconds she felt it and let out a shaky breath. She crawled onto the bed pulling her sister closer to her. "Emma you've got to wake up…Emma! Emma wake up!" She was becoming more and more panicked by the second. After a moment of the reassuring sound of her breathing-which was becoming more and more pained!-she ran over to the phone quickly dialing 911. She would deal with Emma screaming at her later. "Hello? I-I need help. I don't have time to talk. We're living at the Sun Bright Hotel address is 140 Hester Street!" She paced anxiously as the lady started to say that she didn't even think that place was opened anymore. Amy rolled her eyes becoming increasingly agitated "That's kind of the whole point! It's cheap and if you can't find it then trace this call!" She hung up the phone throwing it on the bed before getting a cup of water for when Emma woke up. She started to carry the drink over when Emma couched up blood…she froze in her tracks for a second…a world without Emma flashed through her mind. All the things she would have to do alone…it was not a world she would live in! She dropped the cup hearing it shatter as she reached Emma. "Emma? Are you ok? Can you hear me?" She looked closer and felt Emma shaking she quickly grabbed her and Emma's jacket coaxing her body into it since Emma was non-compliant.

By the time the ambulance got there Emma's temperature had shot straight up but yet she was shivering! Amy knew what this was and knew the kind of questions that would be asked. But more than anything she just wanted her sister to be alright! She let the medics through and explained what was going on as they carried Emma out to the ambulance. She got in holding Emma's hand tightly. She wouldn't let Emma go through this by herself. Emma would never be alone.

Once they were at the hospital they rushed Emma into the emergency room telling Amy she had to stay in the waiting room. "What will they do to her! What's going to happen to her!" She was panicked they had to know that! She wasn't going to leave her sister! She wouldn't! "Ma'am please calm down. They're going to pump her stomach and make her stable until we can find out what's wrong with her. It could be a seizure or it could be something really simple. We just don't know yet." Amy nodded her head looking around panicked. The nurse could see this and took pity on her. She could just tell this girl had been through a lot, both of them. She gently put her hand on Amy's shoulder "Your sister seems like a fighter. I'm sure she'll be fine." Amy stared at her highly confused…"Thank you." She meant it. She hadn't been shown such kindness in years.

Amy paced the waiting room as the doctors did whatever they could to save her sister. She shot straight towards the doctor as he made his way to her. "How is she? Is she ok?" He was hesitant but he answered yes. Amy could see that hesitation and didn't like it one bit…"What?" The doctor looked around as though he was searching for the words. "I don't know how to tell you this but your sister seems to have the signs of being a drug addict. She has an infection in her arm which is actually what made her pass out. The infection had made its way to her blood. The signs were worse she also seems to have overdosed." Amy nodded slowly feeling terrible about the entire thing. The doctor watched the young girl for a moment before saying as gentle as possible "I'm assuming from the lack of surprise you already knew this." Amy felt a small smile come to her face before nodding "Yes, I can't convince her to quit. It helps her." Amy inwardly cringed at the last comment hoping no questions would be asked. Amy had never been lucky. "What does she need help with?" Amy was a good lair though. "I don't know a lot of stuff I guess, school, guys, and parents." She managed to swallow the knot that formed in her throat and mentioning parents. The doctor nodded "I understand, you need to get her help though. I don't think she realizes what a serious situation this is." Amy was so numb she couldn't take deal with the lecture on consequences right now. "Can I see her?" She knew she sounded vulnerable and weak but she didn't care, Emma needed her and that was all that mattered.

Authors note: Hey guys! So sorry this was a slightly short chapter but hey at least it had some drama...not that this entire story isn't drama...anyway I hope you all have a great weekend and talk to you all next week!


	18. Chapter 18

They Never Knew

Chapter 18

Everything Will Be Ok

Authors note: Hello anyone reading! I want to make this pretty fast since I'm really not in the mood to talk. (It's been a crappy weekend full of drama and tears) hey at least the Oscars happened! I love love love the Oscars! Who were your favorite actors? Do you think the people who deserved it? Anyone you think should have been nominated that wasn't? Anyway the next few sentences are just a response to a guest since I still can't figure out how to respond to them and I'm actually starting to think this is the only way now that I've done a bit of research on it. Anyway…responding time. Oh just for any guest reviewing, since this is the only way I know to do it. If you don't want me to put your review on here please let me know in your review. I don't want to make anyone feel judged or uncomfortable. Ok enjoy the story.

Guest chapter 17 . Feb 27

I'm kinda getting tired of all the flashbacks...

I really don't know how to respond to this so I'm going to start out by saying thanks for the review! It always makes my day to get one whether it's good or bad. Anyway to answer your question I'm sorry you don't like them. There's just really no other way for me to get Amy and Emma's story across. I'm pretty sure they're about over. I'm sorry you're tired of them. Thanks again for the review and hope you enjoy the story anyway!

The doctor seemed hesitant but allowed her to see Emma on the terms that she would talk to her about this problem and make sure

she didn't stay too long.

When she made her way to the room she couldn't help but pause as she saw her sister from the door frame. She forced herself to

remain calm so she wouldn't wake Emma. Her breaths were short and stuttered as she sat down in the chair next to the bed. Her eyes

made their way from the nose tube that was dangling off of Emma's face to her pale hands. They looked so frail and lifeless sitting on

the crisp hospital bed. Amy forced herself to move closer managing to make it to the chair sitting next to the bed. She hesitantly

touched Emma's hand in her own almost pulling away at how cold they were! She forced herself to stay there and instead placed her

other hand over it to try to bring some warmth back to Emma's hand.

She couldn't help the tears that pooled in her eyes upon seeing her sister in this state. She didn't say anything she simply analyzed,

finding comfort in Emma's chest moving up and down signaling that she was still alive. She could feel the faint pulse swarming through

her hand as it dragged her blood through her body. Amy bit her lip in concentration on how she was going to have this discussion.

Maybe it would be different if she were older than Emma but she wasn't. Unless you count two minutes older (which she didn't). She

didn't know any more about this situation than Emma did aside from the research she did! She really didn't go into the research on

death factors, she only did enough to let go of the drug! She was so far into her thoughts she didn't notice when Emma's eyes finally

fluttered open immediately landing on her sister. She gave a soft smile before attempting to speak "Hey Ams."

Amy's eyes immediately darted to Emma. The sound had terrified her since she wasn't really expecting Emma to wake up anytime

soon. Though Emma was always full of surprises. "Hey Emm." She couldn't help the gentle smile that made its way to her face showing

exactly how relieved she was that she wouldn't have to face this alone anymore. Even if not being alone meant having the victim of the

conflict be involved it was still better than dealing with it alone.

Emma could see the distress in her sisters eyes immediately making her feel guilty for what had happened. She gave her sisters hand

a light squeeze almost as if silently saying I'm sorry. Amy nodded letting her know she didn't blame her. "Emm this has to stop." Emma

immediately knew what she was talking about but couldn't help but feel a mixture of sorrow and anger surge through her! "Who are

you to tell me what I can and can't do?" That was enough to set Amy of here and there! "Who am I! I am your sister you idiot! You

don't think this effects me! To see you lay here and suffer over something so stupid! Something you can control! Why don't you get a

hold of yourself and admit that you have a problem to that we can get through this instead of blaming me. You don't think I realize how

hard it is? I have been through hell the last two weeks trying to get this horrible drug out of my system while I watched you feel great

because you weren't willing to give it up. I was willing to let you destroy yourself if it meant you would be happy but I can't anymore! I

just can't not if this is what it's going to look like!"

Her words hit Emma in the core. They both knew something had to be done. Emma knew what she had to do. If not for herself then

for Amy. Amy had always been there for her even when she didn't agree with it. Emma knew she owed her big time. A pain of guilt hit

her as she thought about Amy's first job. How when it came down to it that had been Emma's doing. Amy got abused and raped

because of something Emma convinced her to do. She slowly lifted her eyes to meet the broken pair that was her sisters. "I don't know

how to give it up Ams. I think about it all the time. How I need it, how I don't think I would live without it…I'm not sure what will

happen to me if I give it up." The tears leaked down her face as she spoke her words. Amy watched her sister break before her. She

silently leaned forward gently putting her hand on Emma's shoulder. "Emm we are going to get through this together. It's going to be

ok. We will be ok." All Emma could do was nod her head and let the tears fall, hoping to God that her sister was right.

Authors note: Thanks for all the views and reviews and favorites and all of those other things! I am sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's just been a really hard week. I wish you all the best and hope to talk to you again soon.


	19. Chapter 19

They Never Knew

Chapter 19

The Pain That Settles Within

Amy gripped the seal of the window tight as they waited for the doctor to tell them Emma could go. The longer they were in here the more uneasy she felt. She hated hospitals! Every few seconds she would turn to make sure Emma was there almost as if she thought she wouldn't be. Why did she think that? How was she supposed to know?

"Amy I can feel the stress seeping off of you. Just chill out ok? The doctor will come in, tell me I'm good and we can get out of here." Amy turned to look at her sister who actually seemed to be in a pretty good mood. She had not been coping well to the withdrawals and a lot of the time took her anger out on Amy. Not that she didn't feel guilty about it. She just didn't know who else to blame. So when she wasn't in a bad mood she made sure to be nice to her sister.

Emma noticed Amy look up towards the door. "Hey Doc….am I free to go?" This seemed to amuse the doctor. "Emma you're not in prison and yes you're free to go." There was immediate relief among everyone in the room. The doctor looked up at Amy who had a bright smile on her face, but there was still worry and doubt in her eyes. "Amy can I speak with you for a second." She nodded responding "Sure Doc." Before following him into the hallway. After making sure the door closed he turned to the young girl who had her arms crossed in front of her as he had seen many of the mothers of cancer patients do when they were expecting bad news. "I just need you to know that you're going to have to take charge. I get that will be difficult for you but you need to get your parents involved and get Emma into some sort of rehabilitation center. Ms. Swan she needs help.

Amy nodded smiling tightly with her arms crossed against her chest. "Yeah, I know. I thought I could help her myself, but I guess that obviously didn't work. Yeah I'll get my parents involved and we'll get through this…I'm not going to give up on her." She swallowed the knot that was formed at the back of her throat at the mention of her nonexistent parents. She looked him straight in the eyes as he analyzed her trying to see if she meant what she said. He gave her a small smile before saying "I know you won't." He gave her a gentle squeeze to the shoulder before walking away. "Good luck Amy." He spoke over his shoulder. She watched him walk away smiling to herself that someone had actually taken some sort of innocent interest in her and her sister. It was something new. She watched him leave hoping to God that he was right.

"Alright your stuff's in the car, I got your medicines, prescription, and tips for some ways to chill out the cravings." Amy said as she looked around making sure she had gotten everything before joining Emma in the car. She buckled her seatbelt and told the driver he could go finally looking glancing over at her sister. She could tell Emma was scared-though she would never admit it-she was already starting to suffer from the withdraws. She had been using more and for a longer time than Amy had. Amy just hadn't expected her to start the process so fast. She had been in the hospital for a week. So that meant it had been a week with the drugs what so ever. The signs were already becoming visible. Emma was pale, shaky, and had lost a significant amount of weight. Amy reached forward gently squeezing Emma's hand in her own. "Hey we're going to get through this." She gave Emma an encouraging smile noting that Emma tried to return it but there was still doubt in her eyes.

Amy helped Emma out of the car keeping her arms tightly around Emma's shoulders to keep her from falling. Amy knew that it was normal to feel weak, that this was nothing new. There was just something totally different about being the person on the outside taking care of the druggie rather than the other way around. She guided Emma to her bed trying to keep the concerned look off of her face. It became harder when Emma stopped her saying "No, I want to sit on the couch. I've laid in a bed for a week. I'm tired of laying down." Amy complied guiding her to the couch helping her gently sit down. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather lay down? Maybe sleep? It's a lot easier to make it through this sleeping." Emma stayed quiet but Amy saw the visible shake of her head.

Amy made her way to the kitchen glancing at Emma every few seconds as she got out crackers and poured Emma a glass of orange juice. She carefully made her way back to the couch setting the crackers on the table and gently handing Emma the cup, having to hold the cup in Emma's hand longer than expected so that Emma could get a grip on it. Amy was quickly becoming more and more worried noting that things were going to be worse than she thought.

"Hey Am's?" Amy heard the quiet, struggled mutter from her sister. She looked up from the show they had been watching to look at Emma. Emma didn't move her eyes from the screen. "Will you help me get a back?" Amy had to admit she was surprised by the question. She immediately understood why Emma wouldn't look at her. This wasn't like Emma. "Yeah, sure." Was the only thing she knew to say. She went to get the water ready. Once it was full and a decent temperature she went back out to help Emma. She turned her back as Emma changed simply out of respect to the fact Emma wanted as few people to see her naked as possible. Amy wasn't much of an issue but in their profession you wanted as much privacy as possible.

Once Emma was undressed Amy carefully helped her into the bathtub grabbed her a rag and a towel. She stopped at the door turning back to look at her fragile sister. "Do you need help?" Emma didn't bother to look at her as she said "No, it's fine you can go…Thanks Amy" She looked up giving Amy the tiniest of smile. It was enough for Amy to know that Emma was struggling. Emma was never one to force a smile. She nodded before walking to give her sister some privacy.

Day 2

Amy woke up glad to see Emma sleeping peacefully. There had been quite a few vomiting issues last night along with the repetitive screams and cries of the nightmares that haunted their every wake. She groaned as her phone went off. Blindly reaching for it she answered with a raspy sleep induced voice "Hello?" A pause of silence before a male voice answered "Hello? Is Emma there?" Amy frowned at this considering they had separate phones. "No, this is Amy. Emma can't come to the phone right now. Is there anything I can help you with?" Another pause, slightly longer than last time. "Uh no, me and Emma just had an "appointment" tonight. She said she wanted me to call her to confirm it."

A sigh from Amy's end-she absolutely hated these moments-putting on the nicest voice she can for some guy who just wants to use her sister "Umm no, I'm sorry Emma hasn't been feeling well lately. She won't be able to reschedule for quite a while." The click only confirmed Amy's thoughts about the guy being a creep. Rolling her eyes in disgust she laid back down hoping to find a few moments of peace before stepping into the harsh world of reality.

She groaned rolling out of bed. She walked to the kitchen making Emma some soup while getting herself some cereal. She shuffled over to Emma's bed gently setting the soup on the bedside table beside her. While taking the cereal to the couch. She glanced over at Emma tucking her knees up to her chest as she ate. It gave her some insurance towards her sister being able to see her sister breathe.

After eating the day basically consisted of Emma watching Emma sleep and doing little tasks in between. She was reluctant to leave her but she also knew they needed the money. Begrudgingly pulling herself out the door after making sure to leave a note for Emma she left.

Amy absolutely hated this part of her life. Though at this time in her life she hated most parts. The only bright side was Emma. She continued to tell herself over and over through the pounding of bodies against her and the disgusting feeling of being touched by these monsters that this was for Emma. That was the only way she would get through the next few hours without throwing up.

Amy winced as she made her way to the lobby of the apartment. Let's just say certain parts of her were bleeding and bruised. They weren't healing anytime soon. She tried to hide her pain as she made her way to her room. She had almost made it through the lobby when the receptionist stopped her. "Sophia?" Amy turned around to see the person calling her 'name'. "Oh hi Amber." Amy really wasn't in the mood to talk but was also not one for being rude so she talked anyway. "I won't keep you. I was just coming over to check on you." Amy was about to tell her she was fine when the girl interrupted "And don't give me that crap about being alright. Don't think I didn't see the wince you gave as you walked by." The girl was smiling kindly. Amy could tell she wasn't going to judge her in any way, but Amy had also learned her lesson about trusting people. "I just had a bad day at work. I was picking something up and dropped it on my leg. I just need a warm bath and I'll be fine." Amber bought every second of it wishing her well before going back to the next. This caused Amy to breathe a sigh of relief as she unlocked the door.

"I'm home!" She yelled as she walked through the door hoping Emma hadn't slept all day. She walked father in and of course saw Emma in the same position she had left her in. Amy felt that familiar rush of ice in her chest when she thought about that. She rushed over quickly checking Emma's pulse calming down as it was fine. She was on sedatives so of course she wasn't going to wake up for very long. Amy laughed at her over panicky self before grabbing some clean clothes to go get a bath.

She allowed the water to fill up to the top, as she watched it fill up she slightly for some unknown reason even to her hoped It would feel like swimming. She loved swimming. As she was getting ready to get in she couldn't help but glance at herself in the mirror. It made her want to flinch and turn away as quickly as possible. She didn't want to see herself as those men saw her. She looked at herself in disgust as she noticed the slight protrusion of her stomach, how her hips were slightly too wide, she didn't like that in the recent years her thighs had grown, her shoulders had become slightly more bold. She shook her head trying to get rid of the thoughts. She got in inwardly groaning at how she had never wanted this. It was her biggest fear when Emma first suggested this sort of job. She was starting to be cautious of how her employers saw her. Nothing but a piece of meat, she allowed her head to succumb into the water hoping that just for a little while she could escape this world.

Authors note: Hello everyone! So GUESS WHAT? This story has made it to 11,607 views! I don't know about you all but I'm

extremely excited and proud to be part of such a great supportive community like this! I am so thankful that this story has

given me that. I don't want to go off on to long of rant of how I love everyone who reads this story and how much the

support means to me. I was on a bus today and it hit me…this is an idea I had that worked. I look at other stories of mine

and see maybe 20 hits to 200? And I think, "That's great. It was a good shot, and a long one that it would work." Then I

think "Hey at least those 20 people or 200 people liked it." But with this story it's different. This is my most viewed story

which actually really has never ceased to surprise me. When I posted that first chapter I was impressed with it and excited

and thrilled I got the nerve to post it, I thought maybe I would get 500 views a thousand at the most! Certainly not 11

times that! So anyway I kind of still went on a soapbox and I am sorry but excitement gets to me. Anyway hope this

chapter sufficed and I will talk to you all again soon. Have a great night everyone.

Oh real quick! Tell me if you like the font I have been putting it in, this one that the stories in, or the way I put the authors note. Would appreciate it!

Welp never mind it didn't save it...that's cool...not like I worked hard on that or anything...thanks the website of fan fiction. Anyway have a great night guys. Hope life isn't giving you as hard of a time as my computer is giving me.


	20. Chapter 20

They Never Knew

Chapter 20

The Pain That Settles Within Part 2

Authors note: Hey everyone! So really excited to see the story hit 12,000 views! That means a lot! I won't go into a long rant about how happy I am or anything like that. So to kind of get into the spirit of Amy and understand more of what her atmosphere was like and stuff I am currently at a hospital…lol just kidding I'm not here for the story. But that doesn't mean I won't take advantage of the situation. No I'm here because of my sister's broken foot (she's having the bone taken out). So currently sitting in the waiting room finishing up this chapter for your guys. Thanks for all the support and I hope your days a bit more fun than mine...well…it's not too bad. Have a great day guys.

Amy hesitantly got out of the water making sure all of her muscle had relaxed. With a sigh she got out draining the water before changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. She walked out of the bedroom surprised to see Emma up reading a book. "Hey." Came Emma's sleep induced voice. "Hey." Was Amy's happy response. Honestly just hearing Emma's voice could put her in a much better mood. She could only hope the feelings were mutual.

"How was your day?" Came Emma's honestly curious and friendly voice. She knew that Amy hated the questions that no one actually cared about. She watched Amy shrug and immediately felt her heart sink knowing what that usually meant. It meant her sister had gone to work. She couldn't tell Amy not to because she knew she would the same thing for her-heck she had done the same thing for her!-besides they needed the money. It was an agreement, one they both understood fully.

"It was ok." Was Amy's weak response filled with the strain that came with that white lie. She really didn't know why she bothered considering Emma would see right through it. It was their gift. They had both learned from their mistakes and now were basically considered pros. Amy shuffled through the cabinets trying to find anything to eat so she wouldn't have to go out. She had hated going shopping ever since the gas station incident. She knew Emma was in no state to go so it would have to be her. She let out a relieved sigh when she found a box of noodles. She was about to start fixing them when she heard Emma's voice behind her "Are you ok?" She laid the box on the cabinet seeming to really be considering that question. She finally turned back to Emma, Emma immediately noticing the strained smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Are we ever ok?" Emma laughed bitterly "Touché"

After eating and talking for a little bit both girls got into their beds and drifted off. That of course didn't last long for Emma who woke up screaming covered in sweat only hours later. Would this ever end?

Day 2

Amy snapped up at hearing her sister's screams! "Emma! Emma are you ok?" She quickly stumbled out of bed turning her light on. She turned seeing her sister screaming and tangled up in the sheets still screaming her head off. Amy watched her in fear as she tried to figure out a way to get to her without getting injured in the process. She cautiously got on the bed with Emma trying to untangle her while keeping her voice smooth and calm. "Emma it's ok. It's Amy. You're ok. You're fine." She repeated this over and over as though it were a mantra.

Emma was getting more and more violent with every bit of the blanket making its way around her as Amy tried to untangle it. "Emma you have to stop moving." Emma didn't listen and Amy didn't see her fist come up. Amy gasped as it hit her in the side of the cheek before both of Emma's hands were around her throat and Amy was knocked onto the floor with Emma on top pf her! "Emma! Emm you've got to let go!" Came the struggling words as she struggled to get the words out! "Emma! It's me Amy!" Nothing was working, Emma continued to tighten her grip. Amy was starting to see the black dots along the corner of her eyes and knew this peaceful form of waking her up wasn't going to work! After muttering a quick "I'm sorry Emma." She used every bit of her energy to throw Emma's body against the bottom of the bed! She knew her plan had worked when she heard the loud metallic bang of Emma's head smashing against the bed. She went down in a heap, after making sure she was safe Amy let herself lay down and get the air back before forcing herself up to check on Emma.

"Emm?" She tapped her shoulder and wasn't too worried as she heard the groan come from Emma. Emma slowly looked up looking extremely confused and not too happy. "What happened?" Amy blew some hair out of her face placing her hands on her hips as she got up onto her knees. "Umm, let's just say I won't be waking you up within close proximity during nightmares anymore."

It was dark some Emma couldn't see the bruises she had left on her sisters neck. Amy had no desire to let Emma know what she had done. She knew Emma would never forgive herself. She gave her sister a small smile before pulling her up and helping her get back in bed. She checked her forehead as Emma faded back out. Amy's face turned to one of worry when she felt how hot her sister's head was! She quickly went to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water and the pills the doctor had proscribed before gently coaxing Emma into taking them. After making sure she was asleep she got in bed and dozed out again herself.

Amy woke up cringing as she felt her swollen throat and the angry pulsing that was swarming through it. She slowly got up trying to not aggravate the head ache that had appeared at some point during the night. She made her way to the bathroom wincing at the sight of the dark blue bruises that were scattered in the form of finger prints along her neck. After putting lotion on them she took a quick shower and grabbed a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a scarf.

She thanked God it was not summer as she came out covered from head to toe! Emma started to stir in her sleep, Amy froze on her path to the kitchen as Emma started to rub her eyes and sit up. She tried to see through the blur of sleeping dirt…."Amy why are you looking at me like that?"

…"Like what?" A squint in Emma's eyes made Amy realize she was staring at her sister with this almost shell shocked look on her face. She inwardly groaned 'Idiot!' She gave her sister as relaxing of a smile as she could before making her way over to the kitchen. "You want anything?" She heard the nope from behind her. "Suit yourself." She quickly made her eggs before taking the plate over to sit by Emma being careful to keep her distance. She knew from personal experience that even the smell could make her sick.

"So what are you doing today?" Amy shrugged "Just working, probably going to come home early and stay with you." This brought a smile out of Emma. "Always taking care of me." "Always." Was Amy's response as she grabbed her things and headed out the door. She wasn't going to work quiet yet though, there was someone she needed to see.


	21. Chapter 21

They Never Knew

Chapter 21

Can't Help Her

Authors note: Hey guys! Still in the hospital room…sister is fine. Doctor came out and told us her bone had shattered while they were trying to fix it…so least to say no longer has that bone. Don't really know what that means for her future (seriously doubt it's a huge deal). Gosh cities are so pretty when you're high up. Currently overlooking the city and gosh it's so amazing. I may not like tearing down trees but it is extremely cool to see everything up close. Anyway those are my random thoughts while at the hospital. I am certainly sure that you guys are ready for the story, thanks for reading lol.

Amy marched her way through the hospital looking for the one person she felt could help her. She stopped when she reached the secretary "Hi I'm here to see Doctor Wallace." Amy immediately noticed this girl was really pretty and seemed nice. People like that always managed to make Amy feel better. "Name please?" "Amy Swan." After a few phone calls she looked up at Amy smiling kindly "Doctor Wallace said he would see you now. His room in down that hallway to the right, second door." "Ok thanks." She made her way to his office taking a deep breath before knocking on his door. Once she heard the "Come in." she stuck her head in "Hey Doc." He looked up surprised "Amy. It's wonderful to see you!" She walked further in feeling quite welcomed.

"Is everything alright? How is Emma?" Amy sat down sighing thinking of good answers for both of those questions. "In all honesty no. Everything's not alright. Emma is having nightmares….violent nightmares. I just need to know if that is normal." She felt sick to her stomach at the reaction that showed on his face. "What do you mean she acts out violently." Rather than talking since her throat was actually still quite soar she moved the hair off the side of her face showing the black eye and pulled off her scarf.

The Doctor moved closer while still keeping the appropriate distance. "Amy what happened?" His voice was completely serious but Amy could detect the hint of sorrow in his voice. He wanted this to work out as much as she did. Another sigh, she really didn't want to talk about her sister like that. "I-I really don't know. I woke up last night because I heard Emma shouting in her sleep. She started flailing and I tried to get to her but she reacted quite violently…she attacked me. She knocked us both to the floor and tried to strangle me, I only got her off because I threw her head into the bar of her bed…Gosh you don't think I hurt her do you!" He couldn't help but stare at her…"Amy in all honesty I'm much more worried about you. I wanted Emma to get better as much as you did but I'm not sure it's safe for you to be living with her. I really think you should put her in a rehabilitation center."

Amy stared straight ahead unresponsive…"Amy?" She looked up, the worry obvious in her eyes. "I don't know what to do…I don't want to send her away…I want to help her. I don't want her to fell like she's on her own." He watched her sympathetically before responding "Amy not everyone can help themselves and you can't help everyone. You know there's something I say to a lot of my patients in your situation "Sometimes you have to let people go so that they can get better."

That thought terrified Amy beyond belief. He saw that petrified look on her face. "Amy I'm not saying leave your sister and never speak to her. I'm only saying get her help. You said you were going to get your parents involved did you?" Another hesitation. Amy attempted to look guilty and not show to reaction in her face. "Well, what I didn't tell you is that they've been gone." Wallace looked at her giving her that slightly sympathetic look. "Amy how long has it been since you've seen your parents?" She looked up rolling her eyes. "They left about a month ago…they send money every week and call daily. It's not like they're not involved. They just work a lot, that's all."

He gave her a small smile. "Amy I highly suggest that you tell your parents. Your young, you're not supposed to worry about things like this. She's your sister I understand. But if your parents can't help then you have to do something!" She hit her knee looking up at him desperately! "If I send her away she will feel like I am giving up on her! I won't do that to her!"

She sighed looking at the ground…"The reason I came here was to ask you if you have any sedatives or something that can help her sleep better." As much as he really wanted her to just take Emma to a hospital and let them detox her he wrote her the prescription anyway. He had to admit he was worried about the young girl. She looked even worse than she had a week ago. The circles under her eyes were deep, and she looked so battered and frail. Probably as frail as he imagined Emma was at the time. She gave him a sincere thank you and he watched her walk to the door. "Amy." She turned to look at him. "Think about what I said." With a quick nod she left the room.

Authors note: Sorry that it's such a short chapter guys. It's just with it getting ready to be Easter and all I've been sort of busy…well kind of busy…well my cousin kept showing up without telling me so I never got anything done…sorry. Gosh it was a beautiful day today! Oh I saw the saddest movie ever today! It's called Miracles from Heaven if anyone is interested. Well that's it, sorry if this little conversation was boring or awkward…happy Easter! Hope you all have a great one!


	22. Chapter 22

They Never Knew

Chapter 22

My Story Goes Beyond What I've Said

Back To Present

Amy slowly came out of her thoughts struggling to keep focused knowing that she had worried about Emma for years and where did it lead her? Right back to where it all started. Doc had been right the entire time and Amy hadn't paid enough attention to it. She shook her head disgusted with herself for not getting it! She had thought all these years that if she just gave Emma space and helped her as much as possible that everything would be fine! So much for that!

"I'm an idiot." Everyone heard it even though it was mumbled. There was another long pause as there had been many since they had all gotten here. "What?" Came the hesitant and confused response from Regina. "This is my fault." The conclusion crushed her heart. Knowing that if she had gotten Emma help years ago none of this would have happened. "Love you can't honestly believe that?" She turned to Killian the hope fading from her eyes as she took the burdens of her sister onto herself. "I wasn't fit to take care of her…I-I never was." She was starting to get louder and more hysterical by the second. None of them had ever seen her like this and to be honest it scared every one of them in an intense way.

Hook was really trying to stay calm. He wanted to scream at her that none of this was her fault! But he knew that would only prove in her head that it was completely her fault. He gently but firmly grabbed her shoulders, she didn't fight him but it took her eyes darting everywhere except his face for her to finally make eye contact. "Amy none of this is your fault. If there is one thing I'm sure of it's that. You are a blessing to Emma, not a curse."

Amy heard his words and wanted so badly to believe them, but something was holding her back. She shook her head smiling sadly at him. "You don't know our past. I hurt her Killian, just by existing I hurt her." He frowned at her looking increasingly confused and worried. "What do you mean?" She tried to form words but couldn't because of the knot forming in her throat. Amy was breaking, they all knew she was coming to the realization of what happened to Emma and that she just needed time. What they were scared of was what she would do with that time.

She turned gripping the edges of the window frame trying so badly to remain calm. All the scenes of every time she had somehow messed Emma up! "Emma would have been better off without me…I was the first." While Amy knew exactly what she was talking about and everyone had a feeling Emma knew as well, the rest were lost. "First to what?" Came Hooks calm persuasive voice. Amy slowly turned her head giving him that same sad regretful smile. "Try to leave." Regina spoke up once again asking the question that was on the top of everyone's mind. "By leave you mean-""Leave this world. I was the first to try this."

Authors note: Sorry that this is so short but I really liked the way it ended and couldn't think of another way to make it super epic without taking some of the dramatic effect out. So this is for all the people who were tired of the back flashes. I'll admit after re-reading the story I got tired of them too, but I also know that they are necessary to the story. I don't really know how many are left but I will try to incorporate more of these. The story is starting to get closer to where they are now. So thanks to those who have made it this far with me and this story. I hope you feel as much of a part of it as I do. I just wanted to put a quick thank you in because since my last post this story as increased by 3000! I was SHOCKED! To say it made my day was an understatement. So thank you thank you thank you for all of the support! I will have to do something special. Just in case any of you are curious this is kind of a prequel for something else I have planned. This is just a part of a beginning to another story of Amy and Emma's. It will lead into where the show is now. I don't when that will really happen but I am definitely more inspired to write it now than ever.


	23. Chapter 23

They Never Knew

Chapter 23

Just How Bad It Got

No one said anything. There was a suffocating shock that went throughout the entire room and passed through everyone. Even Amy looked shocked. David was the one to step forward speaking softly trying extremely hard not to cry. "Amy…you were the first?" She looked up tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked guilty and somewhat confused. She swallowed thickly letting out a strained "Yes." "Why?" It was desperate and basically a hushed whisper. So many emotions were passing through him at that moment but the one that was strongest of all was fear. Fear that maybe she still felt that way. That would be why she was so understanding of Emma's situation. Fear coursed through him remembering her words from before "No, she failed."

It broke his heart as the truth stared him in the face. Both of his daughters at some point had wanted out of this world so bad that they were willing to kill themselves. He looked into her eyes seeing all of that pain and guilt sitting there staring back at him. He stared down at his beautiful broken daughter putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Amy, this isn't your fault." She stared at the floor eyes wide and scared and shocked over the realizations swarming through her mind. "Amy you weren't the one who did this to Emma." She looked up at his tear streaks shining in the light. She looked desperate for them to understand. "You don't get it. None of you do- "Then help us understand!" David was desperate to understand his daughters! He was so out of his comfort zone through all of this stuff! These sort of things didn't happen where they were from! He couldn't comfort his daughters if he didn't know the entire story.

His daughter stared at his seemingly thinking something over in her head. He could see the distrust in her eyes. She was deciding which walls to knock down without taking down everything. They were the only things that had kept her and Emma safe over the years. Letting them down only ever caused pain. She looked from one person to the next, making eye contact with every one of them. 'Amy they're good people who only want to help you and Emma. They won't hurt you, they won't use this information against you, you're not going to get hurt.'

She let out a shaky breath before speaking in a strained voice, as though it pained her to talk. "All Emma and I have ever tried to do was protect the other. It just so happened a lot of the time I needed more protecting than Emma. Emma stuck her neck out for me more times than I could ever repay. The worst part is you know how I repaid her? Not thinking my plans through and being considerate enough to go somewhere where she wouldn't find me. What I did scared her senseless, and while she forgave me she never forgot it! She never held it against me but I destroyed something in her! This is all my fault!"

"Amy slow down. We need to understand the entire story." She shook her head stiffly before sighing. "I'll get there. Let's just get back to where we were. It's a long story and if I have to tell it I'm telling it in order." With that she turned back to the window looking only at Emma before taking a deep breath and continuing on with her dreadful story.

Authors note: Hello persons! How is your guys Saturday? Have to admit I am totally dreading going back to school. Woke up in the middle of last night thinking I had to go back today, so at least that's not true. You know what I'm noticing? We've always been scared of the monsters in our closet or under our bed but the older you get you realize those monsters are actually in your head…isn't that strange? Maybe if they would just tell you that as a kid then you would be able to conquer them sooner…sorry if that was depressing. It's just a thought I'm having. On a happier note here is my inspirational quote of the day! "Life is an endless circle of living and dying until someone breaks it." Song I suggest everyone listen to is Human by Christina Perri. Really quick just wanted to say thanks for all of the really kind reviews and welcome all new followers! Also guess what! This story within the last chapter has increased by a thousand! I'm still shocked every time I get on to post a new chapter. Anyway please let me know if you like this chapter and if you don't what you would like to see. Have a great day everyone!


	24. Chapter 24

They Never Knew

Chapter 24

I'm Not Leaving You

Amy hurriedly made her way to the pharmacy grabbing Emma's medicine and shoving it in her purse before making her way to her miserable job. She inwardly groaned as she came in and was given her list of who would be waiting for her. Basically the way her job worked is she would go from room to room to do her job. She walked to her first client hoping that he would at least be gentle.

She was now on her fourth client of the day and was feeling quite sore. She cleaned herself off before walking towards her next room. She stopped outside the door taking a deep breath and turning her thoughts and positively as she could. She forced a genuine looking smile on her face before opening the door.

She paused when there wasn't anyone on the bed…well that's unusual…she audibly gasped when she felt hands come around her waist. She tried to calm herself down and keep the memories of him at bay but they were coming at her full force! "What are you doing!" She said panicked. She was managing to keep her voice down but very soon if he didn't let go she wouldn't be sure that could still be said.

She could feel the chills coursing through her body like knives as she felt his lips gently kiss her neck. He loosened his grip on her and she quickly turned around so she could see him. "Hey are you alright? You seem incredibly worried." She was quite taken aback…he seemed so genuine. I mean don't get her wrong. She wasn't that naïve little girl anymore. She was never going to make that mistake again. "Your names Amy right?" She nodded her head still watching him cautiously while she tried to calm her panicked heartbeat. He held his hands up in a halfway surrender attempting to show her he meant no harm. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just it would make your day a little more interesting….I'm Kyle."

Amy watched him, the way he didn't move closer to her. He wasn't forcing himself onto her. He just watched her while she watched him. His electric blue eyes watching her emerald green ones. A little half smile slipped its way onto his face. It really made Amy want to smile back, but she was still cautious. Finally she got her spoke calming down as she did. "Hi." His little smile became a little bigger at the response. "I'm happy you're talking. I was worried this was going to get awkward or something." She didn't know why but the way he said it made her laugh. As though while he made it sound like he cared he really didn't.

There was a moment of silence…"So how does this work?" A frown with another question thrown. "I'm sorry what?" He shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot as though this were highly embarrassing for him. "I don't really know how these things work. Do you want me over there?" He asked pointing towards the bed. That only caused another laugh from Amy considering he was asking the same questions she was technically supposed to ask. She nodded going to sit on the bed. He slowly followed at seeing her kind smile. She patted the spot next to her trying to make this as goofy as possibly since he was obviously not in a comfort zone. She at least knew what she was doing.

He gave her a small expectant smile before asking "Now what?" She shrugged sitting on her knees. "Usually I'm the one that asks the questions. I'm just here to do whatever you want me to." She said it in such as casual way he almost couldn't believe she sounded so at ease with the entire thing. "Wait…?" She waited for the rest of the question expectantly. "So if I asked you to call me Norman you would do it?" She paused looking quite puzzled…he thought it was cute. It was strange though, he was attracted to her but not in an extremely sexual way. It was as though he could sit here and talk to her for an hour and be happy.

"What kind of question is that? You really into that?" She asked baffled but laughing all the same. He shook his head no still carrying that loopy grin. "What do other guys usually ask?" She looked him straight in the eye shrugging before saying "I don't know all sorts of things. Nothing quite as weird as renaming them but I did have one guy want me to call him 'Daddy'." That was probably the weirdest." He nodded thinking things over.

"Why don't we just talk?" She stared at him completely confused. "What?" He repeated the question. She shook her head brows furrowed "I'm not even sure that's allowed." He shrugged before getting closer "Then we fake it." A smirk made its way onto her face as she got an idea.

Authors note: Sorry it's not terribly long. I've just been going through a lot and I had a high increase in sadness and just needed a break. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted. I can guarantee one will be posted if that's comforting. I'm not going to abandon this story but I have to deal with things. Please pray or hope for me, whatever you do. I just am having a really hard time right now. I was mourning the lost of memories last week and only recently feeling somewhat better and inspired since. I happen to have this chapter saved so that's why you got this one. I will talk to you all at a later time. Have a great day.


	25. Chapter 25

They Never Knew

Chapter 25

How Faking Works

Authors note: Hello guys! This is going to be real quick. This is really just an apology for taking so long. I literally couldn't come up with anything though (not kidding I've been sitting here for an hour and a half) I also didn't want to be one of those authors thought that never posts ANYTHING (I'm dealing with a few right now and it's annoying) not sure my story qualifies to be as amazing as theirs but it has to be someone good (there's quite a few of you). Anyway I have made a promise to myself and you since the beginning of this story to not be one of those people and I have failed enough that I never want to fail again….so here is me keeping my promise.

"What?" He asked smiling.

"I have an idea." The smile on her face was enough to make him intrigued let alone willing to play along with this idea of hers. "What kind of idea?" The smile widened at her response "The most brilliant of ones." A moment of silence before the response "Let's do it then." Her smile was dazzling as she leaned in and whispered "We are going to fake sex." There was an eye brow raise along with a slightly hesitant glance…."How?" If it were possible her smile got wider along with her eyes growing widely mischievous. "That's the fun part!"

After a little talking to he was convinced this was going to be fun. She had him follow her over to the wall. After staring at her for a moment she nodded her head as her plan formed. "…Ok. Lean up against the wall." She commanded as she did the same. Once they were both positioned she looked over at him completely serious "Ok now roll." They both rolled their way around the room until they made it to the bed then she stopped. "He was laughing and out of breath but he still managed to ask "What now?" "Get on the bed." She laughed as she was getting on. Once he was on she resumed "Now jump." She was already jumping by the time the words registered. After a few minutes of that she stopped becoming out of breath and not wanting to be obvious "Ok now make kissing sounds." He gave her a confused look before making the sounds but she laughed shaking her head "No, like this." She brought her hand up and started kissing her hand. He did the same, she was right it did sound more realistic. She stopped, she put her hands on her hips looking around thinking of where to go from here. She nodded making a approved sound before making her way to the wall just above the bed and hitting hit a few times and making discreet moaning sounds that honestly would have been awkward to anyone except them. She then shook the rail of the bed in a rhythmic pattern that definitely matched what was imagined with sex. She finally turned taking in light gasps of air. He got concerned for a second "Are you ok?" Before she laughed slightly motioning that she was fine.

She then came closer to him and whispered "Moan." He tried but didn't do too good. She rolled her eyes getting annoyed "Be more realistic, they're gonna know it's fake if that's what you do." He continued to try while failing epically. Finally she rolled her eyes and said a slight sorry before making a fist and hitting him where the sun don't shine…yep, that was the moan she was looking for!

She patted him on the back as the pain subsided. He wanted to be mad at her but he had to admit it was smart and she did honestly feel bad. Plus he wasn't doing a good job himself and he was sure she was in trouble if this didn't go well. "You ok?" She asked after a moment. He managed a weak yeah. She sat down next to him watching him with an interested look. He looked up "What?" She shook her head still squinting at him. She definitely seemed to be contemplating something. "Nothing, it's just…no one has ever done anything like this for me before. Plus I injured you while you were trying to help me and you didn't even get mad." She looked at him confused waiting for an answer. He looked up at her with genuine understanding "I knew your reasons and didn't think it was that huge of a deal. You did what you had to do. I just appreciate you for not judging me. She waved it off saying "Please, it was seriously nice to just have a break to talk to someone." He agreed, he hesitated biting his lip. She noticed almost immediately "What?" He took a breath before deciding it couldn't hurt to ask her. "Can we keep in contact? I mean we make a pretty good team and I honestly would love to have a friend like you." She smiled nodding her head "I was thinking the same thing."

Authors note: Hey guys sorry it wasn't as long as you deserved after waiting but it turned out to be a decent length! I just wanted to say a good thanks for all of the prayers and nice wishes thrown my way along with some nice criticism that I took into account. I really appreciate all you guys (and girls) who have stayed with this story from the beginning. And welcome all the newbies! (I hope you people are enjoying it as well). Well if I ever want you to see this I better post it instead of continuing to write. Ok have a great day guys!

Doing something new (if you don't care don't feel you have to read, it's not important)

Favorite song of the week: Be My Forever with Christina Perri and Ed Sheeran

Book I'm currently reading is Mockingbird by Katherine Erskine (about a girl who's brother died in a school shooting and how her and her father are trying to find closure all while she has Asperger's)

Favorite quote of the week: Being immodest is like sleeping with the entire world-Kaitlyn Tate

Biggest fear for something this week: Doing a Sunday school lesson in front of my group (need prayer!)

One thing I'm thankful for- my imagination and ability to write. It ceases to amaze me that without my ability to write this story wouldn't even exist. It would be stuck in my head. The only thing worse than that is if I didn't have imagination all together.

My favorite color is pink or blue

BYE!


	26. Chapter 26

They Never Know

Chapter 26

Smiling Never Hurt

Amy opened the door gently before pulling Kyle down the hall. Once they had reached the doors she let go of his hand and started walking casually with him by her

side. "Well that was fun." He said, the smile evident in his voice. She chuckled along with him. "Yeah…the most fun I've had in years." He furrowed his brows just

making small talk by casually asking "You have a sister don't you." She nodded her head slowly "Yeeees." He shrugged "I have a brother and while we argue we still

have fun every other day together. I just thought that since you lived with your sister you would have more fun than that. And your obviously close from the way you

talk about her." Amy shrugged but her face did not show the same casual composure. Her eyes were focused and moving back and forth as though searching for that

answer "Why don't we have fun?"

"Amy it was just a question. Nothing to worry about." She nodded still half in her thoughts "Yeah I know, it's just weird isn't it?" He nodded "Maybe you have had fun

recently and you just don't remember. Sometimes that happens to me." She nodded hoping that that was the case. She shivered as the winter wind around her picked

up. "Are you cold?" She gave a small nod before shrugging "It's not a huge deal. I don't live that far away." She shook his head pulling his top coat off to give to her.

She gave him a grateful smile muttering "Thanks." His arms rested on her shoulders as he slipped it onto her. The warmth from his hands made her body gain heat

instantly. She was suddenly very grateful to have made a friend.

She made her way to the entrance of her apartment before turning to acknowledge the gentleman who had stayed with her the entire walk. "This is my place." He

looked up admiring it "Nice." She nodded feeling as though he were just being kind. "I'll let you get to your sister, who I would like to meet at some point by the way.

Night Amy." She watched him walk away yelling "Night!" So that he could hear her as the distance and wind became louder. She shook her head smiling as she walked

inside.

Authors note: Hey guys, sorry it's a little short. It's just that I really liked the ending and didn't want to ruin it by adding anything. Thank you for all of the kind comments and support over the last few weeks. I am extremely grateful for all of you. Also a quick hello to the new readers! Hope you all stick around and I will see you all again very soon. Have a great Saturday everyone!

-It's Nothing Just A Wolf

I have heard some really good songs recently, go check out James Bay When We Were On Fire, and Fortress by Kel.


	27. Chapter 27

They Never Knew

Chapter 27

Secrets Come Up

The smile didn't leave Amy's face as she entered her apartment. "Emma I'm home!" She yelled while putting her coat up and setting her purse down. She paused curious to why she wasn't responding. She made her way into the living room to see Emma watching T.V. "Emm?" Emma made a noise of acknowledgement. Amy shook her head laughing. Emma looked up at her curious. "What's got you all happy?" She said smiling. Amy shrugged going into the kitchen to make dinner. "Nothing really. I just met a really nice guy." Emma rolled her eyes "Ams their always nice before you sleep with them."

Amy shook her head persistently "No this one was different, we didn't do anything we just…pretended." Emma looked at her eye brows raised. "What do you mean you pretended?" Amy shrugged as she cut sandwiches for the two of them (that seemed to be all they ever had nowadays) She brought the sandwiches over to Emma sitting down across from her "Well I mean I'm around it enough. I know how to do a convincing sex scene…it was fun." Emma watched the sentimental smile make her lips curl up into a sweet smile. She hadn't seen Amy smile like that in years. "What was this mystery guy's name?" "Kyle."

She nodded smiling "And what exactly did this Kyle do to make you so infatuated?" She looked up smiling interested "Infatuated? Emm I'm not infatuated, if anything you seem more infatuated than me." Emma raised her eyes brows at that "Well excuse me for wanting to know about my sisters pretend lover." Amy looked over smiling confused "Can we really have lovers when were prostitutes?" That caused them to both laugh for quite a long time.

Emma took a quick glance at the door smirking "You know you forgot to give him back his jacket?" Amy looked at her confused before looking towards the door "Crap!" It was then that Emma noticed the faint finger print like bruises dotting Amy's neck. Trying not to make a big deal until she knew the entire story she started with something simple "Hey Ams what happened to your neck?" She knew Amy, she knew as soon as she stiffened up, as soon as her pulse increased, as soon as she swallowed thickly. She was about to lie to her.

"During one of my sessions today one of the customers chocked me a little too hard. It's nothing really." Emma nodded not buying that for one second. I mean sure the lie was convincing but the way Amy's acting there's no way that was what actually happened. Emma noticed something different about Amy's skin. She focused harder seeing the faint red mark that only went across one cheek. She gently reached up and touched it earning a hiss from Amy who backed away from Emma refusing to make eye contact. Emma walked forward tired of dealing with the drama that was their life. "Amy who did this to you!" Her voice was low and threatening. Making Amy glance at her coldly.

Amy looked into her sisters eyes seriously deciding what her choice was going to be. "I told you the truth the first time." Emma was growing frustrated now "That doesn't explain the mark on your cheek!" "Emm we get hurt all the time why is this any different!"

Emma was done. "Fine. I believe you." Though it was obvious to both girls that wasn't the case. "Great." Amy turned to continue making dinner but was interrupted with Emma walking out the door "I'm not hungry." Once she was gone Amy stared at the soup…"AAAH!" She screamed as she threw the spoon across the room. After pouring the contents into the sink she sat down on her bed to hopefully find sleep before Emma came back. Emma on the other hand had a totally different plan in mind.

Authors note: Hi guys! Ok so I owe you once again another apology. I meant to post like two weeks ago (when I should have) I was celebrating my dad's birthday though so...

Anyway, this was supposed to be longer but for some reason this website changes the format of my stuff when I put it on here. Still same content though. (believe me I do actually know how to do paragraphs it just doesn't work). Alright computer is currently dying so have a great day guys and stay inspired.


	28. Chapter 28

They Never Knew

Chapter 28

Tell Me The Truth!

Authors note: Real quick thank you for all of the really kind and supportive reviews. You guys continuously make me feel so supported and inspired. Also welcome all new viewers! Anyway I will let you get the story.

Emma was in no mood to be friendly as she barged her way into the hospital. Of course Emma knew how to act around people, she had to avoid trouble. She took a breath as she made her way to the secretary. "Excuse me could I talk to Doctor Wallenburg?" The secretary looked up smiling before checking her system while speaking slowly. "Do you have an appointment?" She really thought about lying she really did "Just tell him it's Emma." Emma hated giving out her last name and knew he knew exactly who she was-not to mention she had hacked into his files once and knows that he has no other Emma in his system-she smirked when the girl said she could go on through.

As she marched her way to his office her anger only grew thinking of her irrational behavior and how she knew her sister well enough that if her sister was worried this is the person she would go to. She opened the door before slamming it. While the doctor did look surprised he covered it with a fond smile. As difficult as Emma was he enjoyed both her and her sister. "Hello Emma." She plopped down in the seat parallel of his "Hey Doc."

"So can I ask what you're doing here? Not that I don't love our chats." She smiled crossing her leg getting comfortable. "I'm here on behalf of my sister." He nodded "Really?"

"Really."

"About what exactly?" He leaned forward his curiosity getting the better of him.

"I need some information."

"What kind of information?"

"The kind that involves me."

"Well I have quite a bit of that I am your doctor."

"Doc you know what I mean." He sighed moving his hand to his mouth as he contemplated his options. "Emma you know that your sister only came here trying to help you." She nodded slowly arms crossed "I know but I have a right to know what she told you." The hesitation was still clear on his face. "Doc I saw the bruises. The ones that conveniently look like finger prints." The doctor looked down feeling sorry for everybody involved in the equation.

"What did she tell you?"

"Nothing, that's why I'm here." The doctor watched Emma with calculating eyes. The girl was as stubborn as a mull and there was no way she was leaving this office without the information she came for. "You had a nightmare and reacted violently towards Amy when she tried to wake you up. Did your head hurt when you woke up a yesterday?" Another a second thought she nodded "It was because Amy knocked you out."

"Why would she do that?" Another pause (there really wasn't an easy way to say the next part) "Doc why would she do that?" Her voice was as low and threatening as it was with Amy, but the doctor was either too stubborn or too naïve to know to be scared. "You tried to strangle her Emma."

The anger was blinding. Emma stumbled backwards catching herself against the wall. "What! Why would I do that? Does it have something to do with the drugs?" The doctor nodded slowly and wearily taking in Emma's shaken form. "Emma it's really not uncommon. A lot of drug addicts react violently when battling the addiction. Amy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." Emma shook her head "No."

"What?"

"No! The blame will not be put on Amy. This isn't her fault it's mine."

"It's no one's fault…there was something I suggested to Amy but she wasn't for it." Emma looked up eager and determined. "What is it?"

"I suggested a rehab center. Not necessarily where you two wouldn't be able to see each other, but at least where you would get the help you need and Amy wouldn't be in harm's way." Emma nodded slowly while leaning heavily on the chair in front of her. The doctor was scared she might collapse. "I'll do it." The doctor looked up surprised "You will?" She nodded, her face was unreadable. "If it will keep Amy safe I'll do it."

Authors note: Hey guys hope you all enjoyed this and just a heads up I don't know if I will be posting again for a week or two. While on the subject the reason I won't be is because of a mission trip I'm going on. Please wish me luck or pray for me or whatever it is you do for comfort. I am freaking out and feel so uncomfortable about the entire thing. I'm just really looking for peace and tranquility over the entire situation. I would really appreciate it. I will try to get another chapter in but no promises. Ok bye!


	29. Chapter 29

They Never Knew

Chapter 29

Let Me Fix Me

Emma sighed as she finished feeling out all the registration papers for The Addiction Institute of New York. She put the pen down after signing her name for the eighth time. She felt the comforting hand of her doctor on her shoulder. "Emma I think you need to go talk to Amy. She isn't going to take this well." Emma looked over at her oh-so-loyal doctor giving him a small smile. "I think your right." She nodded before heading towards the door. "Oh and Emma." She sighed looking back at him tiredly "Yeah?" He smiled at her before saying "I'm proud of you." Emma had never heard those words before. Getting over her shock and managing to hide it fairly well she returned the smile "Thanks Doc." Before closing the door behind her.

Emma sauntered into the apartment hesitating to turn on any lights. Amy had left the apartment in complete darkness. Of course it all made sense when she found Amy sleeping in her bed. As much as Emma just wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything or at least push it off until morning she still bent down next to her sister gently shaking her. "Amy I think it's about time we talk." Almost instantly Amy's eyes were opened, as though she had barely been asleep. It was at that point that Emma noticed the deep circles under Amy's eyes. The girl looked like she hadn't slept in a week! Of course the way Emma's sleeping habits were there was a good chance that she hadn't. This only reassured Emma's decision.

"Emma what is it?" Amy looked up at her tiredly. Emma gently sat down on the bed figuring she needed to be sitting for the argument that was about to take place. "Amy I'm going into rehab." The silence that filled the room was terrifying. Emma could hear her heart beat pulsing as though it was right next to her ear. She watched Amy very carefully looking for any signs of….well anything. So far Amy hadn't moved a muscle. The girl was frozen. Finally after two minutes and twenty seconds (Emma was counting) Amy uttered her first word since Emma had been home. "What?" It was harsh and tense and from the look in Amy's face and her ragged breathing it looked like that one word had taken everything out of her. "I said I-""I heard what you said." The tone in her voice struck fear into Emma's core. It was something she had never heard from Amy. It was a low dark rumble and it just screamed 'Don't say another word.' "Who told you?" That tone was still there, Amy looked up from the spot her eyes had been locked on the entire time to meet Emma's pleading gaze with her steel one.

Emma knew there was no denying Amy the information she seeked. If Emma was considered persistent Amy was one thousand times worse when she got like this. Emma suddenly wanted to laugh at anyone who had ever said Amy couldn't hurt anyone. "It was Doctor Wallenberg." Amy's eyes seared with anger. "How much did he tell you?"

"Everything. That's why I'm doing this. I don't ever want to hurt you again. If I'm in rehab your safe." Emma didn't dare raise her voice in Amy's current condition. Amy was very sensitive to sound which means when she's as tense as she is yelling will only bring out the absolute worst in her. Amy stared her straight in the eyes as though the answers she was seeking were in there. Finally she shook her head "No."

Amy you can't stop me from-""Emma you're not listening. I know I can't stop you from going. What I'm saying is don't use me as an excuse. If you don't want to get better you won't. I can't be your reason." Emma stared at her sister surprised…she wasn't putting up a fight. While it was obvious that she didn't want Emma going she cared enough and respected her enough to choose for herself. Emma also guessed deep down Amy knows that this is the only option…"Ok."

Emma's breath was shaky as her and Amy packed up her things. She continued to breathe in and out trying to calm herself. She looked over to Amy who was casually packing her clothes away. Amy felt the gaze and met her eyes smiling a reassuring smile. It gave Emma comfort to see her sister supporting her. She was worried that she wouldn't with this decision. If there was one way for Emma to know that love was real it was Amy. Amy understood love perfectly, sacrificing your own wants and opinions to help someone else out. Emma observed her sister, the long sleeved light pick shirt she wore with black skinny jeans and sneakers made her almost look like a young wife…thought that could have been the fact that she was folding clothes. Her hair was down and curled naturally around her face. A few pieces hung in her face as the front pieces were pulled into a small ponytail at the back of her head. Emma would miss waking up beside her. Amy closed the suitcase looked at her "Let's go."

Amy knew that Emma wouldn't want to look weak going in so she didn't try to put her arm around her to comfort her. She could tell Emma was nervous though, she settled for casually bumping her. When they entered the building they were both pleasantly surprised. It looked really nice and clean. Amy had no choosing in the facility Emma chose so she was worried in what they had chosen, especially with their money situation. Emma sighed as a friendly looking women walked up to them. "Hello Emma, I'm Karen I'll be your therapist and treatment advisor during your stay here." Emma nodded trying to be as friendly as possible. "Hi, this is my sister Amy." Amy shook the women's hand being as charming as ever. "I'm really happy to meet you." Emma mentally slapped herself for not thinking to shake Karen's hand…no it would look to weird now. After talking over the rules and expectations and learning that Amy would only be able to visit an hour a day and had to be gone by seven. They were also warned if Emma misbehaved that visiting privileges would be revoked…Emma looked to Amy fearfully but was only met with a reassuring smile.

Emma stepped into the elevator with Karen watching as Amy stood outside it. "See you soon." Was Amy's comforting response. She gave her a small wave as the doors closed. Emma watched her all the way up. Her heart clenched as her sister walked away. She could only hope that she would see her again soon.

Authors note: Hope this was alright! I'm sorry that it took so long. I really don't have an excuse except that I've been stressed. I'm sorry anyway. I wanted to give a quick thanks to everyone who reviewed, you all have no idea how much those mean to me and how much they inspired me to write this chapter! (Guess what I'm ahead! I already know how the ending for the next chapters going to be you know I just have to figure out like….everything else….sounds harder than it is) Anyway umm please wish me luck on a speech I have to give tomorrow at my church. I'm quite nervous about it! I will see you all hopefully soon. Have a great day everyone!

"There is nothing wrong with a life of peace and prosperity. I suggest you think about what it is you want from your life, and why."- Uncle Iroh from Avatar The Last Air bender.


	30. Chapter 30

They Never Knew

Chapter 30

Amy watched as the elevator went up dreading that this would be the last time she saw her sister for quite some time. She left the building walking back towards the

apartment. She knew this was good for Emma but that did not mean it wasn't killing her.

Emma struggled to control her breathing upon seeing Amy disappear. She couldn't tell if she was just being dramatic or if it was the drugs effecting her brain but this

felt bad, this didn't feel right, she needed Amy to get better. She focused on breathing not wanting to give the people around her any reason to think that there was

something wrong with her. Her brain but this felt bad, this didn't feel right, she needed Amy to get better. She focused on breathing not wanting to give the people

around her any reason to think that there was something wrong with her.

They stopped on the fifth floor and guided Emma out; she didn't question anything as they walked her to a room. It was numbered 207. "Emma this will be your

room." The woman smiled opening the door so Emma could go in. Emma immediately noticed the key pads that were there are along with the card it took to get in. That

was enough to make anyone anxious. "So is there a schedule I have to follow or something?" So the lady held the smile laughing this strangly fake laugh "You're a

smart one. Yes, you will be up by eight and will have your morning therapy session that will be private with Dr. Schardell and then breakfast will be served while you are

in there. She gave a small nod before walking farther into the room. "Will I have a roommate?" The nurse nodded, it seemed she was hiding something. "Is there

something I'm missing?" She nodded again before continuing "Roommates are kind of a bargaining chip, you're stuck with one until you earn the trust to be alone."

Emma nodded before asking, "So who is my roommate?" The nurse nodded towards the door "Guess you'll have to see."

Authors note: Sorry this was so short, but I thought something was better than nothing. I wanted to thank everyone who has commented and has kept me in their thoughts through this hard point in my life. Things are a lot better now, for those of you who were curious I am doing ok at my job, I actually kind of like it and have met some really nice people. I can talk more about that later if anyone wants to. Who knows maybe I'll even get some stories out of it. Ok so I have work tomorrow and need some sleep. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and I will talk to you as soon as possible. Thank you so much for everything guys.


	31. Chapter 31

They Never Knew

Chapter 31

Meeting the Roommate

Emma stared at the women strangely as she left…'What the heck was that?' She shook it off looking around the room. Something didn't feel right about this place…it was cold and mysterious. These nurses carried awkwardly fake smiles on their faces. She looked out the window running her fingers along the bed as she walked. The blankets were stiff and uncomfortable and the pillow was flat. She missed Amy and she hadn't even been gone an hour. She didn't know how she was supposed to recover without seeing her. Amy's visits weren't available until Emma showed signs of progress, which meant she basically had to start getting better without the support of her sister to see her sister! The entire idea was entirely dumb and only added to her need for drugs.

She shivered at the thought of the wonderful substances running through her arm and swarming into her body. Making her feel nothing but warm, happy thoughts. The thought made her smile until she opened her eyes and realized where she was. A place where such things were a sin. She sighed sitting on the bed to put her things away. She was in for a very long day.

Amy sighed walking into the place she was supposed to call 'work'. She took off her coat hanging it up and putting her purse down before changing into the lingerie that was left out for her. She studied it smiling grimly. It was her favorite type, simple black bra that was very tight and very small. It would barely cover her breasts, which fit her quite well considering she was fairly small breasted. The bottom ran it's way to her cheeks once on, making her butt seem small and plump. The tights latched at her waist and ran all the way down to match the shiny black heels that sat on the floor. This was certainly going to be a fun day.

Emma took a breath before heading out to search for the nurses that she was supposed to meet. She found one who smiled gently at her. Emma attempted to return the smile as she walked closer. Her solid strong attitude was gone within this place. She was frail and weak in here, kind? Something she hadn't been in a very long time. "Emma this is Doctor Folley. He will be your Psychiatrist." The man had a genuine smile that matched his kind eyes. He had dark hair and looked you in the eye when he spoke. Emma immediately wondered how that worked when he had clients that didn't make eye contact. Emma shook the hand he had offered to her offering a small "Hey." Before releasing it quickly. "It's nice to meet you Emma. Would you mind coming in? I would like to get to know you better before we actually begin this session." She nodded "Sure" before walking into the office with him. Her head swerved when the door slammed "Don't worry Emma, no one is here to hurt you." She turned back to him "Why would I be worried about people hurting me?" He shrugged keeping that same smile plastered on his face "I don't know Emma, why don't you tell me?" She watched him skeptically. "I don't know, I suppose I'm just cautious." He nodded never breaking eye contact. He was waiting for her to crack and she knew it. "There's nothing wrong with that. It's probably smart this day in age." She smiled an awkward smile, "Yeah I guess so." He folded his hands on the desk before asking his question "Is there a reason you need to be cautious Emma, specifically I mean." She smiled crossing her legs preparing to put on the act she would put on with anyone else who was ever concerned for her (which wasn't a lot of people) "Not at all."

Amy stared blankly at the man in front of her as he gently ran his hand along the side of her face. She was indifferent to the entire situation. His touch seemed gentle but his eyes said something entirely different. She figured he was the type to hear a girl scream, tricking them into believing they had lucked out in getting one of the gentle ones and would gasp and be surprised when he turned out to be just like all the other inconsiderate jerks. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a scream unless he asked. That was her only way of manipulation around here. He wrapped his hand around her the small of her back and the next thing she knew they were passionately kissing and he was pulling her towards the bed, ripping her clothes off, kissing her neck. She closed her eyes trying to cringe and she felt him cup her breasts and remove her underwear…she was right when she said it would hurt.

Emma had been in this therapy session for two hours now and she was starting to lose her patience. All she was supposed to be here for was to get over her drug addiction but here this Doctor was asking her about her entire life! And she knew if she snapped at him she would end up in the looney bin! There was no win here. She sighed removing her hand from her face as he asked her another question "Emma could you tell me why you're here?" She slowly sat up slightly excited to actually get into the things she could talk about with him (considering she wouldn't be sharing the other aspects of her life). "Umm yeah, sure…I have a drug addiction. For the longest time I wouldn't admit to it and my sister was suffering through one as well and I couldn't understand why she would want to give it up and go through all of the suffering she went through but then the farther I got into it and when I saw I had hurt her I decided I might need help. If not for myself then for Amy." The Doctor sat forward seemingly intrigued. "What suffering was she going through Emma?" Emma felt the panic settle in her chest as she repeated the words again in her head, but Emma was nothing if not cunning and quick. "Her drug addiction really took a toll on her. The effects of her stopping were very severe. It just seemed really miserable, but my side effects were getting just as bad with the drugs so I figured why not."

Amy watched quietly as the man beside her got up to take his leave. He turned around walking back to her. He held out some money laughing slightly "Almost forgot about this." He handed it to her and left but not before running his hand along her side one more time before he left. Amy sighed as soon as he had left the room. She quickly jumped up putting the "Not available" sign on her door and locking it. She quickly ran to the bathroom that was provided in her room showering to get the disgusting feeling of another body in hers. She shivered as she stripped and stepped into the water. Only three more hours and she could leave! She paused wondering how Emma was doing. She couldn't help but feel guilty about this entire situation. She was the one who had brought drugs into their lives and now here Emma was trying to make everything right and going into a ward to keep her safe! It was just like Emma. Amy rolled her eyes smiling bitterly at how self-sacrificing her sister was. After she had washed all of the grime off her body she dried off and went back to her room unlocking the door and taking off the sign on her way to the bed.

Emma felt as though she and the doctor were having a staring contest. It had been at least a minute since anyone spoke and it just felt like a competition. One little blink and only darkness could await you. Finally the man looked away smiling ever so slightly. "Emma you have a lot of secrets don't you?" Emma was quick to respond "Everyone has secrets." He nodded, hands still folded together "Very true, but I feel as though yours go deeper. Your definitely not one of those people who has secrets so that they can tell them." She looked at his eyes squinted in confusion "Why would people want secrets?" "For the attention of course. That's why people do half of anything. I can assure you Emma I don't think that's why you're here." She watched him for a second "Then why do you think I'm here?" The answer was simple "To get help."

Authors note: Hey guys I know this is super late! I'm so so sorry! I just kind of realized I hadn't updated this story in a very long time and I totally feel like a traitor but hopefully you all enjoyed it and can forgive me. Anyway I won't go into detail, there has just been a lot of going on. I'm not in a good place right now but one thing I have realized makes me feel better is writing so I will hopefully get to do that much more often! I can assure you this story is not over yet! Alright, have a great Saturday and I will see you all again very soon. Bye!

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain!"

"From their experience came pain, from their pain came purpose, and from their purpose came beauty"- J. Arcangel


	32. Chapter 32

They Never Knew

Chapter 32

Help Is Not A Flattering Word

Emma looked around nervously as she made her way to the cafeteria. Her meeting with the Doctor may not have gone according to plan but it wasn't necessarily bad. He had said he knew she was here to get help and not just here for attention, that was a step in the right direction. She smiled proudly to herself grabbing her tray and attempting to find a seat…oh gosh…it was high school all over again.

Amy sighed as her shift was finally over and her last customer and just left giving her a nice wad of cash before heading out the door. She quickly grabbed her stuff heading for the apartment. She plopped down onto her bead groaning as she truly felt the exhaustion of her day weigh down on her body. She finally gathered up the energy to go get a bath only to find herself falling asleep in the middle of cleaning up…gosh she never thought she'd be one of those people!

She rolled her eyes flinching at the pain that passed through her butt and spine…she frowned trying very hard to pay attention to the pain…is that normal? Fear quickly enveloped her mind thinking about all the possible things that could be wrong with her. She quickly shook them off promising herself that she would just be careful and make sure to take note if it happened again. With that last thought she jumped into bed turning off her light and going to bed.

Emma finally found an empty table vouching to sit alone rather than find the one person in the room who would most likely not be crazy. Emma was very content being a loner and that wasn't about to change. She smiled thinking on something Amy had once said about being loners and ended up eating with that exact thought process, just playing through memories. It helped her to get through the awful mush they call food here. (Though considering her and Amy were hard up for money a majority of the time it wasn't too bad). Maybe she would make it through this in one piece.

Amy winced waking up to that wonderful pain again…yeah she was probably going to have to be checked out. She groaned at the thought of going to another hospital. It was probably nothing. All Amy knew was that with the life she lived the last thing she wanted was more pain. She slowly got up making sure the pain was gone before going to get ready. Back to work she went.

Emma looked around as she searched for her group therapy. 'Where was that stupid room! She finally paused walking past a room that had a few people in it…"Please be it!" She eagerly looked for the number and the door pleased to find that it was in fact where she was supposed to be. "Well here goes nothing."

Authors note: So it has been another extremely long time but guess what I have a secret…it's Spring Break and I've become truly inspired and am more than ever determined to write my heart away and officially bring you all to an end in this story. I will not stop writing until this story is concluded. So while I am still inspired I will be writing as much in as many extremely amounts as I can. (I will be doing the same for Reseme's story for you Merlin fans). Alright so I hope you all have a great day and I will be seeing you again tomorrow. (Next chapter will be in present time for those of you who are incredibly tired of flashbacks)


	33. Chapter 33

They Never Knew

Chapter 33

Help Might Just Be Something I Need

Authors note:…ok I'm going to be very honest here and try not to make excuses. Over the time I was supposed to be writing this I began talking to my ex again and it ended sadly leaving me a broken mess. I'm in a lot of pain right now. Anyway I've decided I'm writing my pain away and I'm just going to try to be as happy as I can in my situation. I've been reading a lot (main reason why I wasn't writing besides arguing). I'm just glad I have this story, it makes me happy and I hope I can make you all happy too. I'm not going to make any promises because I hate lying. So I will hopefully have the next chapter out soon. Alright enjoy!

Story time…

Emma looked around the room trying not to flinch at the looks she received at interrupting whatever meeting she had just walked into. It was odd, Emma didn't really have a hard time being in front of people but she didn't like people watching her. She assumed this was because a majority of the people who watched her were men and she just didn't like the lust that filled their eyes when looking at her. Emma shook the thought off as she walked further into the room. "Hi there." A friendly looking man with glasses who she assumed to be the group leader stood up shaking her hand. "You must be Emma?" She nodded "Yeah that would be me." She said somewhat awkwardly. "You can have a seat wherever, we were just getting ready to get started." Emma found a seat looking at the people around her before deciding to look at her feet instead.

Emma was listening intently at a story that one of the girls she thought was named Jamie. She was talking about how she had been molested since the age of three by her uncle and father. She was then abused by her mother physically because of her accusations of her uncle and father. She finally found the place they were currently at because she was put in the hospital after she broke five ropes "being a dumb teenager and falling off of a bridge." Turns out the girl was smarter than she looked. She actually had done it on purpose knowing it wasn't deep enough to kill her and knew that her family would be forced to take her to the hospital. This is how she found help and the doctors quickly found signs of sexual abuse as well as physical. Her entire family was put in prison and she would never have to see them again.

The girl-Jesse- spoke once more snapping Emma out of her admiration of the girl. "I feel so confused. Even though I know what I did was smart I still feel stupid. Because they were my family. They were all I have ever known and now I don't know who I am. It's almost as though I'm more miserable that I originally was. I don't know how to get out of all of this. I want to start over, to be a new person but that proves to be impossible for me. I meet with the therapist and doctor's every day. I comply and talk about everything and get told talking will "help me and heal me". But it doesn't! I only ever feel worse because everything comes flooding back! I don't know what I'm supposed to do!

Emma looked around confused about how no one seemed to show any emotion…does this happen a lot? She wondered to herself, she couldn't stand the idea of staying in a place where no one showed compassion. Emma looked up surprised to hear her name mentioned. "Hmm?" She looked at the therapist….Jen was her name she believed. She smiled gently at Emma. "I asked if you had anything to say to Jamie." She turned her attention to Jamie "Oh…well I mean I'm definitely not the poster child for great choices or a great life for that matter but what I've learned is that there is always someone out there who's willing to care and you have to allow yourself to believe that it's ok. That you deserve that love and consideration and that while it takes trust and strength and courage it's worth it. You don't even need a lot of people just one person can make a difference."

Jamie looked up at her the tears springing from her eyes, she smiled greatly mouthing thank you. "Emma why don't you tell us your story?" She looked at her confused "You already know my story. It's in my file." Emma noticed she liked the way her smile made her eyes crinkle. It made her look gentle and kind. "Well while I might know your story no one else here does. Maybe you'll inspire someone. Your situation has certainly made you a strong independent women." Emma tried not to cringe at the word. She had always hated the word women. She didn't know why but it made her sick. She shook it off smiling weakly. "I mean it's not that interesting but ok." She began her story not realizing how good it felt to let things out.


	34. Chapter 34

They Never Knew

Chapter 24

Make It Okay

Authors note: Hello peoples! So welcome back to one of the fastest times I've posted in a while! I'm just glad I've at least been writing frequently lol. Anyway, I wanted to say thanks for all of the support and reviews I got. This story has also gotten a lot of favorites and I've been favorite and that is so exciting! So welcome all knew followers or favoritors…I don't think that's a word…it's definitely not a word but just go with it. Alright so enjoy the story!

To my AO3 readers: I don't know if I have any AO3 readers here. Hopefully you found this and I just wanted to send out an apology for the confusion with the other account. I was hacked and the profile was deleted. Archive Of Our Own should be handling it as we speak, but enjoy anyway and hopefully I will see you over there soon!

Emma went through her entire story (leaving out the bit about prostitution) she went through the entire rape situation, the issues with drugs, the strange

occurrences she had at night, her fear of losing her sister and her anger at being rejected by her parents. She was hesitant to look up but was surprised to find

everyone looked at her with kindness and compassion. Some had tears in their eyes and others looked heartbroken. While she didn't like all the attention she

did appreciate the nonjudgmental way this group handled themselves.

She looked up at Jen smiling awkwardly, the smile becoming a little more real when Jen mouthed thank you just as Jamie had before. Emma felt something

she hadn't felt in a long time…closure. Something she never even realized she had needed. All the times she hadn't felt love from anyone except Amy, all the

times she felt like she didn't deserve anyone or anything, all the times she had sex with all of those guys, she needed closure. It was what she had been looking

for. Yeah sure her problems weren't necessarily over but maybe things were finally going to get better. The thought made her smile much more genuine.

Amy

Amy had just finished a shift, gotten home and gotten out of the bath when the phone rang. She waddled over barefoot with the towel around her picking up

the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Amy Swan?"

"Yes this is she." Amy waited curiously as the voice continued "Hello Ms. Swan this is Jen from the Watershed Rehab Facility." Amy's heart clenched as she

heard the words echo in her ears. "Yes?" The women continued on. "I'm Emma's main group therapist here at the facility and I would just like to let you know

that her visiting privileges have been granted and starting tomorrow you will be able to come visit her." Amy's heart soared at the news! "Really? Thank you so

much!" With the last goodbye she hung up the phone heart full of joy in the first time in so long. Maybe things were finally getting better.

 **Next chapter more from current time! It's been far too long**

Song you should listen to: It won't kill ya from the Chainsmokers

Movie to watch: My Own Private Idaho

Story to read: Show Me How to Love (A supernatural Fanfic where Dean befriends Castiel who has autism)

"Stars can't shine without darkness."

"Greatness lies within every one of us, we just have to be willing to see it in ourselves."

My suggestion to you today is to all comment something you love about yourself. It's not selfish or vain it's inspiring. We we're all made beautiful and it's sad that we don't accept it. I'll start…hmm…I have nice eyes. (doesn't have to be physical, list a talent if you want!)

Have a great night everyone! Happy Sunday!


	35. Chapter 35

They Never Knew

Chapter 35

Happiness Is A Illusion

Present Time

(song to listen to while reading if you like music to go with it- Sad/Happy Ambient Music-n"Happy Ending (alternate)"

Amy smiled sadly looking once again at her lifeless sister who seemed to only be getting worse by the minute. None of the doctors had said a word but if the

gathering around her bed and the monitors constantly changing meant anything it wasn't good. Tears gathered in her eyes as she thought back on that phone

call. How could she have ever thought at one point everything would be okay? That she would be fine? That either of them would be fine? The idea itself was

idiotic and foolish. The tears pooled down her cheeks as she laughed bitterly.

Hook

Even though he'd never admit it his heart was breaking for the girl he had come to know as a sister, a best friend. The crap that they had gone through was

unbelievable and nothing that anyone else in the room had gone through anything nearly as bad. Not even Regina! He couldn't help but feel anger towards his

girlfriend watching as her sister fell apart without her around. He didn't know what she would do if Emma didn't make it…he didn't know what any of them would

do if Emma didn't make it. He still had so much to say to her. He settled for being there for her sister. He hesitantly walked up sitting his hand on Amy's

shoulder as the shudder became more obvious and she had to stifle the sounds of her crying. How could one girl suffer so much?

Snow

Mary Margret looked at her daughter having long ago stifled her own sobs. She watched as Hook laid his hand on her shoulder comforting her as best as any of

them could. It seemed to work to some extent. She had never once seen Amy cry since the day Henry had died. She couldn't believe the pain and humiliation

they had gone through just to survive. She thought this entire time she had sent her daughters away to save them but really in reality she had doomed them.

David

David wanted nothing more than to take his daughter in his arms and take her somewhere far away where him and his family could be safe. Where everyone

could be safe. He had thought that's what they did all those years ago, apparently that wasn't the case. He silently appreciated what Hook did for Amy and

thought of all the ways he would make sure to be there for them in the future.

Regina

Regina felt nothing but anger for this world she had sent them all to. If she had never cast that stupid spell these girls who have only ever tried to be supportive

and strong for everyone in the town would never have had to suffer. She cringed as Amy's sobs began and gave Hook a gentle smile as he walked forward to

comfort the young girl. She looked towards the window that Amy hardly ever tore her eyes from seeing Emma's monitors go off once again. 'Emma I swear to

God you better make it through. Your sister needs you, we all need you.'

Robin

Robin felt tears come to his eyes hearing that Emma gave up everything to try to help Emma and somehow they still ended up right here. It seemed that no

matter what these girls did misfortune found them. He felt his heart break as Amy cried at the idea that they would be fine. All hope had been torn from these

girls and he feared that it would become too much for the only one who hadn't tried to leave yet.

Henry

Confusion and pain were the only feelings that registered with Henry as he watched his beloved Aunt who had always been so strong and compassionate, who

had comforted him when he was crying who had told him funny stories about Emma that she would never have told herself was now sobbing but still trying to

hold it all together. He frowned sadly lips tight as he slowly walked towards Amy grabbing her hand on the opposite side of Hook. She looked at the hand in

hers then to him, her tear filled eyes making contact with his matching his tight lipped expression before give his hand a squeeze and looking back towards the

window.

To Be Continued…

Authors note: Hello everyone happy traveling to this story! Hopefully you all enjoyed, I've gotten a lot of comments that people missed the present parts of the story and while the background is necessary and long (which I'm sorry about for those of you who don't like it) it is necessary to fully understand what happened to Emma and Amy. Aren't you impressed? It's been two days in a row! So new I know lol. So as the AO3 fans who made their way here still know my account has not been put back up. I will let you all know when that does happen or if it will be under a new name. Unfortunately AO3 is handling it as quickly as I had hoped. Anyway, glad you made it here. Have a great Monday everyone and I wish you luck as you go on with your week.

Peace and Blessings

THINS I HAVE FOUND USEFUL THAT I DARE YOU TO DO!

Song to listen to: 1-hour pure sadness- emotional sad music mix-emotional ride, and Perfect by one direction

Book to read: Cruel Beauty

Thing to do: Assess yourself and write a poem about it. I'd love to see what you all come up with! (Hopefully yours are positive, since mine was not I won't include it)

Also guys just grab a good book to read! Meditate! Do something relaxing!

Time spent having fun is never wasted.


	36. Chapter 36

They Never Knew

Chapter 36

I Can Be Okay

Good song to listen to for soundtrack music: Evgeny Emelyanov- Sorrow

Amy took deep breaths struggling with being so incredibly embarrassed at breaking down in front of her family or being too far gone to actually care. The longer

and longer she looked at Emma the more and more she missed the feeling of fading away until there's nothing…she closed her eyes trying not to remember.

Flashback

 **Numbness**

 **Wet sticky liquid…oh it's blood.**

 **Pools of it everywhere…sounds?...Footsteps.**

 **Yes most definitely footsteps.**

 **The pain was gone…that was good**

 **The light was fading darkness was coming to let me rest.**

 **Isn't light supposed to be the last thing you see?**

 **I'm almost done…**

Flashback Over

'No! You can't do this right now. Emma needs you! You can't leave her, not again.' Amy shook the thoughts off noting that the room was completely silent. She

turned to face the group taking in their faces quietly before finding a spot on the floor to focus on. "Where was I?" Her voice was raspy, hardly recognizable to

the usual bright tone her voice normally displayed. "Emma was getting better?"

Amy looked up to meet her mother's gaze. She had long ago started referring to her as "mom" inside her head. She had yet to actually call her this though.

Amy realized that this wasn't only a reminder she was asking. Was Emma okay at this time? Was she actually getting better? Amy knew it while none of the

others were paying that much notice. Amy's lips stayed in a straight line as she looked her mom in the eyes. Searching for something that she actually had no

idea of what. "Yeah…she was." There was a moment of silence as Amy watched the tears pool in her mom's eyes. **'You caused this. This is all your fault!'**

The voice screamed at her. That voice was unfortunately right.

"Anyway, things were okay for a small amount of time. Emma was getting better, recovering quicker and quicker. The more she progressed the more she was

able to see me, which only increased her progression. It was amazing to watch her heal and become the old her again. It was as though the version that had

been hurting so deeply wasn't even there anymore." Amy felt her lips curve upward in the smallest of smiles remembering her and Emma joking again.

Laughing in the lounges or hanging out in her room that was becoming brighter as Emma decorated.

Flashback

"You know if you hung some curtains it might bring more color to the room." Amy was looking at the window and comparing the colors of curtains in her head to

the pain on the walls. "Maybe a yellow or a light purple. Something bright. You know, it might sound stupid but I read a study showing that brighter colors

increase positivity and productivity in people. I'm thinking about buying something bright for the apartment. I could use a little booster myself." Emma smiled at

Amy loving that things were starting to feel more normal and at ease between the two of the rather than the tense awkwardness that had built up the last few

months before coming here. Emma was glad to say things were finally turning around for the better.

Amy sighed looking at her phone before standing up and waving Emma towards her. Emma playfully rolled her eyes as her sister pulled her in for a tight hug.

They stood like that in peaceful silence before she pulled away "I'll see you tomorrow." She nodded smiling as Amy left the room. She looked at the clock on her

wall realizing she had a therapy session in fifteen minutes.

Emma made her way down the hall that she had now grown familiar to. She smiled as she saw Jen setting chairs out. She walked in silently joining her in her

task. Jen looked up surprised as Emma started helping before smiling warmly shaking her head. "Hey Emma."

"Hey." She said as they continued with the moving of the chairs.

"How's Amy doing?" Jen had learned a lot about Emma in their private sessions along with the group ones. Anyone in the group knew that Amy was Emma's

world and that each visit made her stronger and more successful in her journey. She couldn't be more happy with the girls progress. "She's doing good. She

actually said she had been getting more sleep and working a little less. Which is good for her, she really needed a break." Jen nodded knowing Emma would give

no more detail than that. "That's great! I can't wait to meet her face to face when your therapy sessions with her come around." Emma paused looking up

confused. "Oh, when you get far enough along in your recovery therapy with the family members in required so that they can understand and be supportive

with what your going through. It helps every patient that takes it." Emma nodded only looking slightly uncomfortable. "Emma you don't have to worry you're

not quite there yet." Again only a nod and a smile from Emma. The women rolled her eyes knowing Emma was only being stubborn.

The group gathered and sat in their circle. Emma sitting next to Jesse while Jen was across from her. Emma had met a few more people since being in this

group there was a boy named Shawn sitting in the seat to her right who liked Suduko and talking. Emma found it a humorous combination and found herself

spending many breaks between sessions playing Suduko and talking about the most random things. The thought made Emma smile while totally missing the

comments that had just been made until it was her turn. "Emma?" She looked up at Jen "Hmm?" Jen sent her that knowing smile that let her know she knew

exactly what she was doing. "It's your turn to discuss." Emma thought a second remembering that every day they go over something they've discovered about

themselves. "I found that I quite like Sudoku." Shawn gave her a sideways smirk which she returned. Jen nodded moving on the Jesse.

Emma continued to look around the room noting she now knew at least everyone's names. There was a total of seven people in the group. Jesse, Jen, Shawn,

Jason, Derik, Sherry, and herself. Emma felt like she belonged here. She missed her sister desperately but actually being able to see her made it all so much

better. Emma felt like everything would be fine. Every day she learned something new about herself even something as simple as liking Sudoku…yeah

everything would be fine. She just knew it.

Authors note: So I'm sorry that I missed yesterday but this chapter is a little longer so hopefully that made up for it. It's late and I'm tired so I'm not going to do much extra stuff. So my wishes for you are that you all have a great night and you have peace. I will see you hopefully tomorrow.


	37. Chapter 37

They Never Knew

Chapter 37

Happiness Doesn't Last Forever

Authors note: Ok so obviously the tomorrow thing didn't happen, I'm sorry once again but I'm back! I will hopefully be able to post for the next three days! Today you all got lucky because my work called me off. Anyway getting off of that tangent lol. I wanted to send out a huge thank you to all the favorites and followers I received! I am so honored you are choosing to follow me and this story and welcome! This is a long dramatic journey that I am glad you have chosen to come aboard. We've officially hit 29,000 views! For that this will be as long of a chapter as I can make it without people becoming bored! This is substantial chapter so make sure you read! Well onto the story…

One Month Later

Emma smiled as she sat across from Doctor Folley as he spoke. "Emma you have made remarkable improvements since being here. I could tell a change as

soon as you walked through the door. You seem to have accepted your situation and moved on with it. I know this hasn't been a difficult road but you are surely

on your way to a full recovery. All of your therapists say your participating more and that at times you're the life of the group. You've made quite a few friends

and your withdrawals are becoming fewer and farther between. I would say at the rate you're going you could be home in three to four weeks." Emma's smile

brightened at the last statement. "Really? That soon!" Doctor Folley nodded looking through his notes once more. "Yes, there's really nothing we need to discuss

further. Your medication is helping correct?" Emma nodded waiting to hear his final reply. "Yeah your good to go for today, see you next week." Emma jumped

up from her seat "Thank you Doctor Folley!" She yelled as she ran down the hallway where Jessie and Shawn were hanging out in a well…hang out room?

They were the only ones and they were playing Sudoku (it had sort of become a ritual among the three of them) "Well someone's back early." Shawn said

smiling as he saw her run in. She excitedly sat down shaking her legs waiting for them to finish their games. They made eye contact both smiling before giving

Emma their full attention. Shawn smirked "Also very excited." She smiled leaving them in suspense "I get to go home soon!" There were shouts of joy and

congratulations and plenty of hugs! That was another thing that Emma was learning, she was really starting to like hugs.

"So what's the first thing your going to do when you get out." Emma thought for a second smiling…"Get a cheeseburger and milkshake with you guys and Amy.

I can't wait for you to meet her." They both smiled excited as well. "Sounds great Emm." Jesse's smile faltered slightly "Yeah, if we ever get out of here." Shawn

and Emma looked at her confused. "Jesse your doing great why would you think your not going to get out?" She looked at the two, her eyes so dull that it hurt

the other two. "I'm not doing as good as everyone thinks I am." The longer the two had gotten to know her they found out that Jesse has issues with eating and

had only ended up in the facility because she had passed out and ended up in a coma for a week. "What do you mean?" Shawn put a hand on her arm trying to

suppress the concern that was etching it's way onto his face. "Let's just say I've learned how to dupe the system." Not wanting to push her the other two could

only nod.

There was a eery silence as the three continued on with Sudoku. Their friendship was one of no judgement. So nothing was said. Emma looked up confused

hearing the chimes go off signaling someone was there. She turned around gasping "Amy!" She darted to her sister jumping into her arms for the longest hug of

her life! To say Amy was surprised was an understatement Emma hadn't hugged her in so long not to mention they were all short hugs!

Amy hugged her tight as she let her sister cry tears of joy before realizing she was crying and toughening up for her friends. Emma looked over at her friends

who were smiling happily. "This must be the infamous Amy." She smiled letting Emma drag her over to her friends. "That would be me." Emma spoke up "Ok

this is Jesse and Shawn." They both waved before inviting Amy to play Sudoku. There was ton of chatting and joking before Emma took Amy to her room. "So

what's life like outside?" Amy laughed plopping down on Emma's bed. "Same old same old. I've gotten a lot of work and I even cleaned the apartment, shocker

I know." Emma laughed knowing that Amy wasn't one to clean. "Wow I'm impressed."

"I know right? You seem to be doing well here, I haven't seen you happy in a long time." Emma nodded "Yeah, it's been good here. I feel better and I actually

feel like I can do life without the drugs, but Ams I'm scared to leave. To go back to that life that put us in this situation in the first place." Amy nodded

completely understanding. "Maybe we could find other jobs, be waitresses or something. I saw a cafe down the street from the apartment that hires waitresses

and performers. I was thinking about applying tomorrow." Emma nodded looking hopeful. "Maybe we don't have to stay in this life." Amy smiled weakly. Emma

noticed immediately growing worried "What's wrong?" She watched as Amy tried to become more convincing "What nothing. I'm just tired, I worked a really

long shift yesterday." Emma watched her "Amy you know you can't hide from my super power." Amy smiled weakly silently becoming frustrated as the tears.

"I'm just so tired. Tired of all of this crap that keeps happening to us. Emm there are so many times I just want to take the drugs and be done with the day but

I know I can't because I can't spiral again!"

She sighed running her hands through her hair again. "Sorry I'm sorry I just-" She paused as arms came around her pulling her as close as physically possible.

She responded immediately hugging her sister back. She let the tears come, they both did. "Never apologize for that. You are amazingly strong, stronger than I

am and I am so proud of you and I'm so sorry I ever dragged us into this mess." Amy shook her head "Emm if I hadn't been on your side I wouldn't have

agreed." Emma nodded but secretly didn't believe her, Amy could tell when people were lying too so as long as she didn't say anything then she couldn't be

accused of lying.

Amy sighed as the light in the hallway flashed. "I have to go, it's signaling for visitors to leave." Emma smiled sadly hugging her sister one last time before she

walked out the door. She stopped before turning the hallway "Say goodbye to Jesse and Shawn for me." She smiled waving before closing the door. She sat on

her bed feeling numb….Amy was suffering and she hadn't even noticed…Amy blamed herself and felt weak because of something she had suggested…none of

them would be in this mess in the first place if it weren't for her and her dumb ideas.

' **It was pretty dumb.'**

Emma flinched, the voice that rang through her head was her own but a much darker one. Something that didn't have hope or joy **. 'Why do you constantly**

 **have to ruin your sisters life. If your going to ruin someones it should be your own.'**

'What exactly are you wanting me to do?'

' **Fix it.'**

'Fix it how?'

' **The same way it all started. Why are you in here in the first place?'**

'No! I'm way past that'

' **No your not….'**

The voice was right…she wasn't.

Authors note: Ok guys hope you enjoyed! First of all I swear I know how to indent this website just won't let me for some odd reason. If it wasn't clear this is the same voice that was in Emma's head in the very first chapter and this is where it started to appear. Just making sure your aware. I will hopefully talk to you all soon and be out with another chapter. Have a great Sunday everyone and hope Derby was fantastic! Night!


	38. Chapter 38

They Never Knew

Chapter 38

What's The Point?

TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter contains graphic depictions of self harm, self loathing, and suicidal tendencies

Emma looked around for anything sharp she could use. She knew that drugs would be impossible to be found since that was what she was admitted for, but

Emma had never had problem's with self harm or suicidal thoughts so those things would be easier to find. She nodded thinking of something that would do just

what she wanted. She went to the bathroom pulling the razor out of the drawer and taking the blade out. She pulled up her shirt hesitating before putting

pressure on her skin and making one line after the next. The tension felt less intense immediately leaving her dizzy with comfort. She felt like she could finally

breathe! She flinched hearing the doorknob shake "Emma?" She froze knowing the voice immediately! It was Jesse who was also her roommate….she looked

down noting that her hand was shaking and there was blood on her clothes and the floor! **'Idiot why hadn't you gotten in the tub! Why hadn't you taken**

 **your clothes off!** She rolled her eyes as the voice was back. Crap this was a sticky situation!

Authors note: Sorry it's super short but hey it's Mother's Day

Quick thanks to all the new follwers and watchers! We've hit 31,000 views and I really want to celebrate and I had an amazing new follower actually request something so I will most likely be doing whatever they end up requesting.

Have a great day guys- Happy Mother's Day!


	39. Chapter 39

They Never Knew

Chapter 39

What's The Point?

Authors note: So real quick, the reason that the story repeats a bit of the last one is to signify Emma's confusion and also to just recap on what's currently happening. You didn't miss any chapters or anything like that, hopefully there's no confusion. Enjoy!

TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter contains graphic depictions of self harm, self-loathing, and suicidal tendencies

Emma looked around for anything sharp she could use. She knew that drugs would be impossible to be found since that was what she was admitted for, but

Emma had never had problems with self-harm or suicidal thoughts so those things would be easier to find. She nodded thinking of something that would do just

what she wanted. She went to the bathroom pulling the razor out of the drawer and taking the blade out. She pulled up her shirt hesitating before putting

pressure on her skin and making one line after the next. The tension she had been feeling guild up so intensely was immediately released. It was a high,

something that made her feel as if the world around her no longer mattered, she made another cut just slightly deeper another after that. She seemed to be in

a world of euphoria until the knock came…

Emma gasped looking down at her marks. They were bleeding enough to stain her shirt and there was blood on her hands, the razor, and the floor. Emma

cleared her throat making sure that no shock or pain was in her voice. "Yeah?" She figured it was Jess considering she was her roommate. "Hey Emm, just

wanted to ask if you'd be out of the bathroom soon?" She looked down seeing all the damage. "Umm…I was actually going to get a shower but I guess I can

come out for a sec."

"What no it's fine, plenty of bathrooms in this place anyway." Emma mumbled a quick alright waiting till the door closed. She couldn't help but feel guilty

because she was sure Jesse was struggling in the same way she was. She was sure the girl had come back to purge after the dinner they had just ate. Jesse

had been a vegan and starving anorexic and bulimic when she was admitted and since coming had been forced to eat everything on her plate even if it went

against her beliefs. Which totally sucked and made the sensation of getting sick ten times worse. She could hear Jesse purge throughout the night if she wasn't

able to have the bathroom after dinner.

Emma shook her head not able to worry about Jesse's problems right now and instead focusing on her own. She took her clothes off cleaning up the floor and

washing her shirt in the sink making sure to get the blood off while it was fresh. She then went to the shower reveling in the feeling of her skin burning from the

fresh cuts. **'If it feels so good why not keep going?'** Now Emma didn't know if she was a fan of this voice or not but the idea didn't sound too bad. **'Don't**

 **mind if I do.'**

The Next Morning

Emma cringed as she opened her eyes sitting up to go get breakfast. She hissed feeling the effects of what she had done the night before hit her like a ton of

bricks. "Hey you okay?" A concerned Jesse asked as she walked out of the bathroom. "Hmm? Oh yeah, just sore from yesterday." She nodded smiling

remembering how much they had all danced while Amy was there with them. "Do you think she's coming back today?" Emma shrugged. "I would think so if she

doesn't have to work." Jesse fiddled with clothes and making her bed as she asked "Oh what does she do?" Emma froze being very grateful that Jesse wasn't

looking at her. "Oh she's a waitress at a restaurant near our apartment." Jesse sat down on her bed "Oh I've always that would be sort of fun in a dirty way you

know?" Emma forced a smile nodding before saying something along the lines of let's get breakfast.

Emma couldn't help it, the effect of Jesse's words haunted her all day. They would be harmless questions for anyone else….why couldn't she just be like

everyone else! But no they were prostitutes which made them like no one else around them! **'That's right, you're worthless. You aren't like everyone**

 **else. You're inferior.'** Emma stopped eating her dinner as the words played through her head…inferior? Is that what she really was? It made so much sense!

Her parents didn't want her, didn't even care enough to drop them off at an orphanage, they left them on the side of a highway…they weren't worth anything…

Emma felt the sudden urge to cut. She needed that release!

Emma jumped when she felt an arm on her shoulder. It was Shawn who had been sitting next to her the entire time. While Jessie had bene rambling with a

couple of the other people in their therapy sessions Shawn had been watching Emma the entire time. "Hey Emm, you okay?" Emma looked up at him grateful he

wasn't being dramatic or noticeable so the others didn't notice anything odd. She managed a small smile "Yeah, I'm fine." He nodded not looking entirely

convinced but did leave her alone. After a few more minutes she excused herself saying something about needing to call Amy.

After Emma had managed to make it to her room she rushed into the bathroom searching for the razor. She didn't want to use a new one, she had to use the

same one so no one got suspicious. After finding it she wasn't slow it lifting her shirt up to make another fine line. The only difference this time was stripping

down and starting a bath. It would not only leave the bathroom spotless but also give her time to clean the cuts while the bath was draining.

She took a deep breath in letting it out slowly as she watched her thin stream of blood seep into the water. It was beautiful in its own way. Something about

the water turning that beautiful light pink color. That was Amy's favorite color. She felt some guilt hit her as she thought of her sister. Her sister who would

definitely not be happy with what she was doing. After all the progress she had made…'maybe you should stop. You could always stop.' She tried to reason with

herself. The idea started to have an effect. Her breathing became more rapid and she suddenly felt dirty, wrong. She cleaned her cuts quickly draining the tub

and getting dressed. When she came out of the bathroom Amy was sitting on her bed waiting for her. "Hey."

Emma smiled brightly "Hey." She didn't move from her spot. She didn't want to concern Amy with her knew struggle and also didn't want to make anything

noticeable. Even something as small as a wince could make Amy suspicious, she was her sister after all.

"Are you okay? You haven't moved from that spot since I got here?" Amy finally asked curiously after talking to her for a good ten minutes. "Oh really? Yeah, I

haven't even noticed. I still can't believe you're here!" Amy smiled looking really heart warmed. "I'm glad I'm here too. I've been wondering about this place.

I'm glad it's not as scary as I originally thought." They laughed shivering slightly at the prison they had first thought they walked into. "Thank God!' Emma said

laughing. "Hey where are your friends?" Emma thought a second before responding. "They're probably hanging out in the rec room. We can go if you want?"

Amy smiled, it wasn't one of her regular ones though. It seemed to come with bad news. "Actually can we sit and talk for a minute?" Emma felt her blood run

cold at the thought of something else going wrong but still nodded trying her best to remain happy. "Yeah sure." She sat down next to her sister. "What is it?"

Amy sighed not being able to make eye contact with her for a few minutes. Finally she looked up tears evident in her eyes. "I looked into that waitressing job

and even with both of us working we won't make as much as we do now. We would have to move not to mention they do background checks and ours probably

don't look good." By the time she finished tears were rolling down her face. Emma looked down confused as something wet touched her leg. She felt her face

noting she was crying to. "I'm so sorry." She mumbled. Amy shook her head. "Emm, it is not your fault." She hugged her tight, neither wanting to believe that

this could be their life forever. "Why don't we go hang out with Jesse and Shawn?" Emma smiled tightly following her out. They laughed and talked with

everyone showing no sign of pain. It's what they were good at. No one would ever know how they suffered.

Authors note: Hi guys! So sorry this last week or two have been really hard for me. My great grandmother died and I've been dealing with funeral details. She died fairly peaceful so I'm happy for her. I should hopefully have more time to post soon. I tried to make this extra long to make up for lost time. For those who like the present chapters another one should be coming up soon! We're getting to the good stuff and I'm excited! Alright well have a great day guys! That is a request from a birthday girl.

Things I order you to do!

Watch the movie Closer or Beauty and The Beast

Read the book Fans of the Impossible Life By Kate Scelsa or Forbidden Secrets by R.L Stine

Watch a blind and deaf boy touch grass for the first time. It is sure to make you happy.

"I smile not because my life is good and I don't have problems. I smile because I have hope and I choose to be happy. Depression does not control me, I refuse."


	40. Chapter 40

They Never Knew

Chapter 40

Why Does The World Always Seem Out To Get Us

Warning: Dark themed, feelings of hopelessness, self-harm, and slight suicidal tendencies. If this is something you are not comfortable reading I will have the part labeled and will try to make the story still make sense afterword's for those who can't read it.

Emma sighed tiredly as she headed back to her room. Amy watched her go desperately wanting to ask her sister if she was alright but knew it would do no good. She knew exactly how her sister was doing, the same as she was. No one could fix them. Emma turned around giving her a weak smile that Amy returned, nodding her head before heading out the doors into the cold night.

Emma watched her go turning towards Jesse as she entered the room. She didn't like the way Jesse watched her. She knew why, Jesse wanted to purge and didn't want Emma to be awake while she did it. She would wait until Emma had fallen asleep or at least faked falling asleep to go to the bathroom. To which Emma would wake up once again to the awful noises. Emma wanted to groan at the thought but shook it off not wanting to offend Jesse. Instead she got ready for bed turning and smiling at the girl. They quickly said their goodnights and then went on with the nightly routine. When Jesse went into the bathroom Emma covered her head with a pillow and plugged her ears.

The next morning went by fairly decently. The thoughts were gone as far as Emma was concerned. She was in here to get better not worse, besides the responsible side of her knew that she needed to be back in the real world helping Amy make money instead of sitting comfortably in here why Amy struggled. The guilt that came with those words made Emma quickly lose her appetite. She pushed her food away gently trying to not to be noticeable and quickly joined in on whatever conversation her table had been having.

(Warning triggering events ahead)

It was during the free time they had that the thoughts came back. She had excused herself to go to the bathroom and just happened to see the razor sitting there gleaming at her. She felt her hand shake at the wonderful release that she knew would come with one slice. She looked around noting that no one else was in the room before quickly shutting the door and locking it. 'No…you can't keep doing this to yourself Emm!' She sighed shakily trying to avoid looking at the razor. She took deep breaths in and out but the glimmer of the razor kept shining in her face… **'Dear god just do it!'**

'What? No! I made a promise to Amy and myself!'

' **Who gives a crap? Is she here right now? No, she left you here to fix yourself. This helps you, so do what you have to do.'**

'This doesn't help me! What would happen to me if anyone found out? They wouldn't be happy. Doesn't that tell you something?'

' **It tells me your too scared to actually help yourself when you need it. Your entire life has been full of secrets why is this one any different?'** …Emma didn't have a response. There wasn't really a difference was there? Most of the secrets in her life were secrets for a reason. How was this one any different? The thought made Emma shake with nerves. She slowly reached for the razor. Watching her hands slowly extract the blade as though they weren't hers. Her breath was shallow and shaky as she reached for her arm. Some part of her knew she should put it in a more secluded area, somewhere that wouldn't be so easily seen but another part of her didn't care. Why should she? This helped her. She smiled nodding as she put pressure on her arm and watched as a drop of blood dripped onto the floor. She stared down at it…she couldn't tell if she had imagined the drip of the drop or if it was actually there.

(Not as triggering at this point, should be safe to read)

Emma smiled as she washed her wrist and felt it burn under the cold water. She quickly put a bandaid on it and opened the door to her room. She froze as she came face to face with someone…she stared wide eyed and confused as she backed away and into the door…"Amy what are you doing here?" Amy smiled furrowing her brows at the slight confusion that came with the question. "Visiting my sister like I do every day?" She through it back as a question to Emma to see what she looked so surprised about. "Yeah but why are you here this early?" Amy frowned looking at her phone. "Umm I'm not early…its two o'clock. Same time I come every day."

'No way! Was I really in there for an hour?' Emma looked up trying to get the confusion off of her face before Amy decided to further question it. She pulled on the most genuine smile and laugh that she could. "Oh! I guess time just slipped away! I decided to get a quick bath and I most have gotten super comfortable." Amy laughed too "Lucky! I don't remember the last time I had a bath. Sounds super relaxing. I'm oh so envious!" The two laughed before heading to the recreation room to see Emma's friends. Shawn and Jesse were super excited to see Amy and quickly waved them over for an intense game of Twister and then many many video games. Something that was quickly discovered to be a hidden talent of the twins. They would get super competitive and had fantastic skills when it came to the mystery levels especially.

Finally dinner came around and Emma was surprised to see her doctors invite Amy to dinner with her. Amy accepted grateful and made the comment that she was 'super tired of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches' witch got quite a few laughs from her friends and the doctors. Emma smiled excitedly as Amy looked at her. "I feel so honored getting invited to the big kids table!' She said in the best little kid voice she could pull off as she jokingly bumped into Emma as they made their way into the dining room. There was much talking and laughter as Amy brought a certain light to the room that just seemed to make everyone really comfortable with her. Emma was extremely grateful to see everyone getting alone. Amy made eye contact with Emma raising an eyebrow to ask her silently 'What's wrong?' Emma subtly shook her head indicting that in fact nothing was wrong. Amy raised both eyebrows at this saying 'Sure.' Emma rolled her eyes at her sisters worries until she looked down and saw that her cut from earlier was showing just enough for Amy to see as she was sitting next to her. She quickly tugged her sleeve down and put another piece of broccoli into her mouth effectively keeping anyone from talking to her. She had to talk to Amy soon before this got out of hand!

Authors note: So a real special thank you to . This person has been there for me throughout the entire process of this story and I'm seriously grateful for her. A few other people I'd like to mention are Lovatic-once-upon-a-time for being the first person in my time as a writer on any website to request a story. I am super excited for everyone to see where that goes and I will announce on here as well as my profile when that will be released. The last person I'd really like to thank is EmmaAthena2013 for also being a huge part of this story and just always encouraging me. Also thank you to all of the new followers and favoriters…I don't know if that's a word…it's probably not but that's alright. We're almost to 33,000 and I'm super excited! I'm sure we'll get there eventually and I just really wanted to thank everyone for sticking with this story this far. Next chapter should be really good as Emma's secret is revealed. We are getting very close to seeing the first suicide attempt from Amy as well so keep your eyes open for that. Also thanks to anyone who asked about the L.A trip. It was super fun and while I'm sort of sad to be back at least I can get back to writing.

Song to listen to: Perfect Places by Lorde (really the entire album is amazing)

Places to go: L.A

Book to read: Staying Fat For Sarah Byrnes

Fanfic to read: Who Are You Steve Rogers

"People are going to tell you who you are your whole life. You have to punch back and say "No this is who I am." You want people to look at you differently? Make them. You wanna change things you're gonna have to go out there and do it yourself because there are no fairy god mothers in this world. –Emma Swan


	41. Chapter 41

They Never Knew

Chapter 41

What to do in The Eyes of Time?

Authors note: Hi! So to be short and simple, I am hopefully going to have many chapters for you ready to be posted since I currently have a lot of time to type. For those of you who are kind enough to review this is also the reason I am not responding. I will hopefully have this out soon though and I will get back to you! (Just to let you know this is a drama filled chapter that has some self-harm…you have been warned.)

Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT I only own this version of it and I own Amy.

Let's get started….

Amy watched Emma curiously the rest of the dinner and through games, throwing her glances whenever possible. To say it made Emma uncomfortable was an

understatement. Though both girls were quite good at hiding what they were saying to one another so none of their friends suspected a thing. Once Emma was

walking down the hall trying to avoid her sister Amy came up behind her grabbing her arm and pulling her gently into the wall. "Emma what's going on!" It was

a hushed whisper but sounded just as threatening to Emma.

"What do you mean?" Emma knew the moment the words were out she shouldn't have tried lying to her sister. For Amy grew a stern look looking her right in

the eyes.

"Emma what aren't you telling me?" Emma wasn't anything if she weren't resilient. She looked her dead in the eyes seeing no other choice.

"Amy I really don't' know what you're talking about." Amy stern as ever harshly picked up Emma's arm pulling the sleeve down showing the two cuts. Both girls

looked a minute, both trying to come up with an excuse for the marks.

"These are what I'm talking about." Emma stared at them finally looking up to meet her sister's gaze.

"Amy it's nothing to worry about. They're just from wear my arm was resting on the table." Emma said it calm and collected congratulating herself on the

ability. Amy knew as soon as the words were out that they were lies but something inside her told her to let it go for now. She looked at the marks analyzing

them deciding that they weren't dangerous enough to bring up immediately. She would deal with it later.

"Ok, sorry just me overreacting." She said smiling rolling her eyes. Emma nodded chuckling feeling relief that Amy had bought it.

"Since when do you not overreact?" Both sisters laughed trying to stifle it once realizing lights out was really soon.

"Well I better get going. It's almost your bedtime." She said mimicking the voice of a child. Emma faked a laugh

"Oh so funny!" She said nudging her sister before pulling her in for a hug. She noticed the slightly long hug she received patting her sister on the back. "Love

you Ams."

"Love you Emm." There was a small smile among the two before she headed for the door. Emma had to admit to herself it always felt so weird to watch her

leave and know she wasn't going with her. With that last thought she headed to her room.

Amy's Pov

Amy pulled her jacket closer around here as she made her way outside. She couldn't get the marks out of her head. She knew what was going on. There was no

hiding it, but what was she going to do? She couldn't call Emma out on it it would only make things worse. She tightened the jacket further around her heading

for her home to plan out a way to help Emma.

Back to Emma…

Emma sat in the bathroom blade in hand. **'Good going you failure! You couldn't even keep your sleeves down enough so that they wouldn't see your**

 **marks? Not only did you not have the patience to do it somewhere they wouldn't see but you couldn't even cover them up? Seriously why**

 **haven't you ended things yet? This is only getting sadder by the second."** Emma cringed at the loud voice inside her head. Closing her eyes desperately

wanting to block it out. 'Emma do something! Your wasting time. Jess will be back soon.' Emma held back frustrated tears as she put the blade to her arm.

 **'Good girl.'** The voice seemed to taunt her, but she knew as soon as this was done it would go away. Everything would go away…just one cut.

All Emma could see was blood. She looked down confused and in a daze as she saw her arm gushing the thick red liquid…"What the heck?" As soon as she

looked to the door where the loud banging was coming from the corners of her eyes went dark. "Jesse?" The knocking stopped for a second before the hesitant

reply came.

"Emma? Are you ok? I've been trying to get you to respond for two minutes now?" Emma shook her head trying to wave away the fuzziness that kept

appearing.

"No I'm not. Can you get in here?" She cringed when she heard the bang on the door. "What no not like that! You have to be quieter." The banging stopped and

she heard the faint huff on the other side before the door knob was being shook. Finally the door opened and she saw Jesse standing there with a hairpin in

hand. The girl paused stunned at what was in front of her. One of her closest friends, one of the only people that understood and showed compassion was now

lying in front of her covered in blood with a knife lying on the floor, and from the looks of it the girl was on the verge of passing out.

She got on her knees avidly trying to avoid the blood but finding it very much impossible. "Emm? Emm I need you to look at me." She gently put her shaking

hands on the sides of her friends face and felt her heart stop as the girl made no motion. Her eyes were shutting…"Emma!" The girl found herself losing control

harshly slapping the girls cheek and breathing out a sigh of relief when she opened her eyes seemingly alert.

"Oww! Did you just hit me?" She sounded mad, shocked, and confused which the girl would have found funny if the situation were at all different. "Yes yes I did

now what do you want me to do?" Emma shook her head looking around thinking. "I need you to get Shawn. This is going to require all three of us." She

nodded forever loyal to her friends before quietly heading out to grab the only other person either could think to help them.

"Shawn?" She whispered as she gently opened the door to the boys room. "Shawn!" She whispered in a more harsh tone when she received no response. The

boy popped up terrified from where he had been sleeping on his bed.

"Jesse? What the heck are you doing?" As she got ready to explain he hushed her holding his finger over his lips and pointing to his roommate. She nodded in

understanding as he waved her out of the room. He followed behind closing the door as quietly as possible. "What are you doing?" He was concerned. This was

really out of character for the girl. Even if she was the most rebellious out of their friend group.

Jesse seemed to be searching for the words finally deciding on something that she seemed to be able to comprehend. "I need your help. It's Emma."

Authors note: Hi! So I'm super excited for this chapter and we're getting into the good stuff. Plus I'm being like a super awesome typing ninja right now. I've already got half of the next chapter done and will probably have this done by the end of the day! So with that said here some things to do…you know if you want to…

Book to read: Skin and Bone (just look up books about eating disorders)

Song to listen to: Hurt by Johnny Cash (hint it's what the next chapter is involved with)

Movie to watch: Lord of the Rings (any of them, I personally love the first and third one)

Show to watch: I love Lucy

Quote I love right now: "We will survive, we just have to be creative and stick together." –Isabel Imagination ASMR zombie apocalypse part 3. (For those who don't know ASMR is basically a tingly relaxing feeling you get when your 'triggered' such as when people whisper…it's super awesome and you should definitely check her out. If you do comment They Never Knew in the comments section!)


	42. Chapter 42

They Never Knew

Chapter 42

What Have I Become My Sweetest Friend?

Authors note: So if your reading this it means I still don't' have internet. But this also means many less distractions! So yay for all of us! So a warning this chapter (per usual recently) deals with self harm, self loathing, and suicide issues. It is also a song fic so we'll see how that goes…you have been warned…now enjoy!

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

Jesse and Shawn were both speed walking back to their friend. "Wait so what's wrong with Emma?" Shawn whispered trying to remain quiet to not get in trouble before helping their friend. Jesse remained quiet causing him to look over and see the girl shaking. He gently took hold of her arm bringing them both to a stop. "Jess…what is it?" The concern was evident in both of their eyes as they locked.

She swallowed looking both ways before leaning closer "She's hurt." That was all that needed to be said for both of them to pick up the pace. By the time they got to the room both were panting from basically running. Jesse barged in holding the door open for Shawn as he immediately made his way to the bathroom. He stopped dead in his tracks seeing Emma lying her head against the bathtub unconscious.

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything

"Uh, Jess? Was she like this before?" Jesse came in panicking as she ran into the bathroom not caring about the blood at this point.

" No she wasn't." She had given up being gentle at this point as she harshly grabbed Emma's shoulders shaking her. "Emma!" The girl groaned not appreciating the shaking. "Emma I need you to wake up and tell us what to do."

What have I become my sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away in the end

And you can have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

Shawn looked at her like she was crazy. "You taking advice from the girl who's bleeding about how to stop her own bleeding!" Jess turned around not appreciating the sass

"Shhhhh! Do you want to wake up the entire wing?" He rolled his eyes angry before coming further into the room. Both waited for Emma to respond. She finally opened her eyes. Though it was clear to both friends that she was most likely delusional.

"Take that toilet paper and wrap it was tightly around my arm's as possible."…well they had been wrong before. She said drowsiness evident in her voice and actions as she weakly pointed to the toilet paper. "One of you grab needle and thread from under Jesse's bed and do your best to make good stitches if they look that deep. If not put as much pressure as possible and keep wrapping toilet paper. Once the bleeding stops we need to get a whole lot of bandaids or…that cloth…stuff…" It was at that point that Emma completely lost consciousness which only made her friends act quicker.

I wear this crown of thorns

Upon my liars chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time

The feelings disappear

You are someone else

I am still right here

Shawn grabbed the toilet paper being very generous in how much he wrapped around her arms while Jessie quickly got her needle and thread. "Does she need stitches?" Jessie asked from the other room thinking on if she should be getting this supplies or helping to stop the bleeding. Shawn gently pulled the wrappings off of the arm he thought was bleeding less before really looking to see if she needed them or not…

What Have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away

In the end

"Umm...I would say the chances are very high." Jesse came back in the room carrying everything she needed. She quickly ran the needle under the hottest water she could get from the sink before threading it and leaning down the start on one arm. "Alright here's the plan. You stitch that one up and I'll keep putting pressure on this one. If this one stops bleeding maybe she doesn't need the stitches and we can take those out." Jesse nodded not really comprehending anything except that she had to do a good job with these stitches. Neither friend asked questions about Emma. For they had all been there themselves. There was no judgment in their little bandwagon. They would always keep each other's secrets.

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

"Jesse how are her stitches looking." Jesse didn't respond for a minute causing him to look over and realizing she was in such a stage of concentration she didn't notice he was even speaking to her. He looked over her shoulder seeing that the stitches seemed to be coming along quite well. He looked down at his arm relief filling him seeing that Emma must have grown too weak to cut any deeper. "She's going to be fine." He could only hope he was right.

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

Authors note: Hello! So hopefully you all liked. If you haven't heard this song I suggest you go to Youtube and get it! It's a beautifully sad song that I think everyone should hear. I'm not going to do any other suggestions because they'll just be the same things (it is the same day after all). Alright well I shall see you all very soon!


	43. Chapter 43

They Never Knew

Chapter 43

Scared and Angry

Authors note: Back again for the third time today! (at least for me anyway). Any who at this point I'm not really even sure where to go (like I am but I'm not). Anyway, let me try to do this…we'll see.

Emma woke up groggy, feeling the darkness starting to fade from her eyes. Everything was dissorented as she looked around the messy bathroom. She closed her eyes letting the darkness completely fade before opening them again. She was surprised and heartwarmed to see her friends sitting on the floor with her asleep. Jesse like her had fallen asleep against the bathtub while Shawn had fallen asleep lying his head on her lap. These were the best friends she could ask for. Not having the heart to wake them she looked at the time, deciding there was still time before anything demanded their attention she went back to sleep.

She woke up again still feeling that same light headed feeling before looking up to see that her friends were still asleep. She gently shook them. "Guys." It was quiet enough not to startle them but it sure startled her! 'What the heck happened to my voice?' Her voice was hideously scratchy and wouldn't be able to make anyone fall asleep let alone wake them up peacefully. She settled on just shaking them gently. Which both responded to eventually.

"Emma?" Shawn looked up at her in awe. She smiled gently trying to hide the pain that was throbbing in her arm. He pulled her in for a tight hug super happy that she was actually ok! Jesse did the same after it became clear the hug would not be ending for quite some time.

"Hey guys." She said softly trying to get her voice back as she hugged them. It felt nice, to have moments like this. To have friends that weren't related to you. "Thank you both for your help. I couldn't have done it without you." They nodded smiling but she could see that the smiles were forced and were masking the evident worry both were feeling. "What?" She asked observing them.

"Emm are you okay?" Shawn asked looking at her concern the only thing showing now. She just stared at him. It had been so long since she even considered the definition of 'okay'. When was the last time she was actually 'okay'?

She took a moment smiling softly before saying "Yeah Shawn, I'm okay." He nodded but she could tell he didn't really believe her…then again she wasn't sure she did either. Jesse said nothing as she looked at her handiwork trying to make sure nothing would come undone. Emma noticed looking down giving an impressed look to her arm.

"Nice job Jess. It came out great." She smiled looking up to her friend who smiled at the small joke. Emma looked around letting out a breath of air. "Well! Looks like I have a lot of cleaning up to do." She said as she actually fully looked at the state of their bathroom. Her roommates smiled looking around nodding. When Emma looked up silently asking for help her friends smiled rolling their eyes.

"I guess we could help." Jesse sighed feigning exasperation. This brought a chuckle out of Emma.

"Well I would be most gracious." She said in a mocking tone.

Forty minutes later the bathroom looked close to normal. All the blood had been washed out of the cold aluminum floors and the bloody towels had been discarded. All that was left to take care of were their clothes and the bathtub. Emma sighed tiredly finally feeling the effects of what she had done make themselves fully aware. "You know what guys, I can handle the rest of this. You all go on and get out of here. Don't need you sitting around in my blood any longer than you have to." Both friends looked at her hesitantly as she did look very pale and seemed to be shaking in her hands. She looked up seeing their hesitation. "I'm not taking no for an answer so get out of here." With that both friends left knowing they wouldn't be able to convince Emma otherwise.

Emma forced herself to peel off her clothes washing them in the tub while also effectively washing the tub itself. 'Killing two birds with one stone.' She thought smugly. After everything was washed and she had hung up her clothes she went into their room changing before heading out to find out what had become of her friends.

She was in the hallway when things became a scary form of fuzzy. She gripped onto the wall for support feeling her breathing becoming layered. She clenched the wall with all of her strength telling herself determinedly 'You are not going to fall!' With that last thought she slowly made her way to Shawn's room putting herself together before knocking. It was Shawn who opened the door Jesse standing behind him. She gasped putting her hand to her lips "What are you two doing in the same room?" Both looked at her surprised. "Naughty naughty naughty." She said shaking her finger at them before walking towards the door leaving the two smiling and shaking their heads at her antics. She popped her head back in the room seriously. "Well are you two just going to sit there making googly eyes at each other or come eat breakfast?"

Breakfast went by fairly smoothly the trio smiling as they felt like they had accomplished a super secret mission successfully. There was only laughter and jokes among the three. After breakfast they made their way to therapy where the same people gave the same stories about how they feel like they had a breakthrough. Emma didn't really mind though, in a way the words themselves were therapeutic. The constant rythym that never seemed to change. Plus it meant she didn't have to talk.

After therapy they basically got to do whatever till lunch. The three were sitting in the rec room playing Scrabble when Jesse suddenly got up not looking too good. "Everything alright Jess?" Shawn asked sitting up suddenly alert of his friends strange behavior. She looked distant but did respond "Yeah I'm fine. I just need to go puke." She said, the sickness somehow finding it's way into her voice as though she would blow chunks in seconds.

Shawn shot Emma a worriedly look. She looked up feeling his gaze all she could do was shrug giving him a sympathetic look. "Hey I can't really say much can I?"

With that the two continued their game until it got to Jesse's turn. When Jesse hadn't been back for fifteen minutes Shawn got up. "I can't do it anymore! I'm going to find her." Looking down at Emma he asked "You coming?" Emma was up in .5 seconds following him down the hall. They could hear the retching from outside the room. They barged in when they heard yelling. "No! Stop!" They opened the door. Shocked to see Jesse being restrained by what looked like the hospitals staff.

"What are you doing!" Emma yelled as she got ready to jump in and fight.

"I suggest you stay back." It was the same lady that had led Emma to her room that first day.

"What are you doing to her?" Shawn asked hatred obvious in his eyes as he looked to their friend in sympathy.

"We are only trying to help her. Something neither you nor her can do. We are taking her to a higher wing until she can prove more stable." Emma and Shawn stared at their friend as she clawed at the people restraining her. Tears flowed down her face either from purging or from actually crying.

"Let me go! You have no right!" She said through her tears and shrieks. With those last words the guards lifted her up and carried her out of the room. She grabbed Shawn and Emma's hands to which they held on tight until they were forced to stay back as they watched her get carried out…

Both Emma and Shawn fought to hold tears back as they looked around the room that used to occupy Jesse. There was vomit leading from the toilet and trailing out to where she had been fighting. Blood was mixed in with the vomit, something that scared both of them as they realized how serious her condition had to be. They both ended up sitting on Jesse's bed seemingly waiting for her to come back. In the silence they found each other's hands and clung on as though there were nothing left to anchor them.

Authors note: Hello my friends, so hopefully you all enjoyed the chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it so if you enjoyed reading it all the better! So I don't have much to say except I will be posting the next chapter very soon…so see you all then.


	44. Chapter 44

They Never Knew

Chapter 44

When Everything is Wrong

Authors note: Hello guys! Wow not having wifi is doing a lot for this story. This is the second chapter I've typed today. In the last five days I have wrote five chapters…I'm impressed and excited with myself. I'm also excited for you guys to read so I'm going to shut up and let you do just that!

Warning: Self harm, and self-loathing, also talks of purging. If this is something you can't read I will make a note of when it is safe to start. Lots of love

Everything seemed numb. Shawn stayed as long as he could but eventually the no boys policy kicked in when lights went out. Now Emma sat alone in the clod musty room. There were no retching noises, no arguments, no laughter…there was nothing. Thankfully the cleaning staff had come and cleaned up the vomit and blood but it was still there in Emma's eyes. She'd never un see it. She was immediately racked with guilt as she thought about what she had put her friends to and how they probably felt the same. The thought made her desperate to cut. She jumped out of bed going for that precious little razor. She cut until her heart was content, this time making sure to not have her friends clean up after her.

She woke up in her bed almost forgetting about her blood being spilled. That was until She stretched and felt her new scars pull against her skin. She hissed not really knowing if she enjoyed that pain. It was something different from the actual cutting. Emma shook it off quickly throwing on a pair of sweat shorts and a long sleeve grey shirt that went quite well with the black shorts. Her long hair messy and curly was left as she didn't really see a point in fixing it. She saw her reflection in the mirror shrugging at it before heading out to find Shawn. (Safe to read)

She saw that his door was already open as she made her way to his room. She leaned against the frame knocking gently but loud enough for his to hear. He popped up from where he was sitting on his bed. His roommate looked to see who it was waving at her and saying "Hi Emma."

She smiled giving a sideways wave back "Hey." As she followed Shawn out the door. Once they were much farther down the hallway he leaned towards her.

"You know he likes you right?" She rolled her eyes smirking.

"Yes yes I do." He looked at her not surprised she figured it out. It definitly seemed like the type of thing Emma would just know…Amy too for a matter of fact.

"Well are you going to go for it?" Emma rolled her eyes never losing the goofy smile as they made their way to the cafeteria.  
"Poor sap doesn't realize what he's fallen for. No reason to have him suffer. His bed taste will surely rub off someday." Shawn said nothing as he pulled her into the cafeteria trying to find a table before they were all gone.

Once they were seated neither said a word as they looked through the menu. Emma deciding on the waffles with fruit while Shawn went for something that was fluffy. Both felt a pang go through them as they realized they wouldn't be hearing Jesse's hilarious and knowledgable comments on the calories they were taking in and they wouldn't be sharing their fruit with her while she gave them pieces of whatever pastry they were shoving down her gullet that day. "I miss her." Emma said as she stared at the seat in front of them.

"Me too." Was the only response he gave as their food was brought to them. They ate in silence just thinking to themselves. That was until Shawn frowned as he thought over something. "Did they say they were putting Jess in isolation?" Emma frowned as well thinking back on the conversation…

"I don't know…why?" Shawn smiled as a plan formed in his brain.

"Why don't we go see her?" Emma stared at him not really seeing his point.

"Why don't we go see her? Because they'll kick us out." Shawn shook his head wagging his finger.

"Now Emma I'm disappointed in you! Where is your sense of adventure? If she's not in isolation we can find out where she is." Emm stared at him skeptically.

"And how exactly do you plan to do that?"

"With the help of my awesomely amazing friend who is really good at finding people." He said as he leaned in close putting his arms around her shoulders…

"I'll see what I can do."

By seeing what she could do she ended up in front of the lobby where she wasn't really supposed to be…but no one said anything so all well. She looked through all the different wings. Each labeled in accordance with the issue the patient was dealing with. Figuring that Jesse would be on the eating disorder wing she searched through all the different halls until she came across the last two that she could be in. Isolation or ER. Emma could feel her heart starting to pound in her chest as she walked down the hall avoiding any of the staff since she was sticking out like a sore thumb. After looking through the entire isolation wing she had the only answer she could come up with. She must be in the ER.

Emma smiled triumphantly as she made her way back onto their wing without detection. Shawn waited in his room pencil and paper in hand as he wrote through ways to get to see their friend as Emma came back into the room closing the door on her way in. "Well?" Emma swayed over plopping down next to him on the bed.

"ER. Not isolation." Shawn smiled excitement flooding into his eyes.

"Jess here we come."

Emma laid on the bed so sick of talking this plan over as this had now been going on for the last four hours. Shawn was making this way too complicated! "Why don't we just ask someone official down here if we can go up and see her? It's a lot less stressful than sneaking our way up and possible getting caught." Shawn rolled his eyes at the question.

"Because if we do that and they say no then we are going to look suspicious and they won't stop watching us the entire time she's up there. We would never get to see her then!" Emma groaned.

"Let's just do something already then! I'm sick of waiting." He nodded throwing her the paper.

"There, that's the plan."

"Finally!" She looked it over figuring it was as good as it was going to get. "Alright lets get to work." She was out the door in minutes. Shawn having to run to catch up with her.

Emma hurridley made sure that the coast was clear before walking through the doors and down the hall and into the restroom. She made sure to wait the five minutes for Shawn to make it into the hallway without it looking like he was following her. She then walked out of the bathroom leading the way towards the ER hall for eating disorders and down into the bulimic section. Both teens began looking into doors trying to find the brunette. Emma stopped as she walked past one darkneded room. Staring in she could make out the silhouette of a frail girl. She frowned upon closer inspection…"Shawn?" He stepped up next to her looking into the window.

"Oh my god." The girl staring back at them wasn't they same Jesse they remembered from two days earlier. This girl had hair falling out everywhere bruises marked along her entire body. Every bone protruded. A feeding tub stuck out her nose, she had been crying. She looked up making eye contact mustering a small smile before it dropped in fear for her friends. Neither knew what the look was for until they felt a hand land on their shoulders.

"I suggest the two of you follow me right now."

Ten Minutes Later…

Shawn stared daggers at the floor while Emma stared defiant and angry at Ms. Dun. She looked at the two as though she were trying to figure them out. She swiped through their files most likely reading everything she could on them and their behavioral issues. Before she finally spoke. "What were you two thinking?"

At this point both looked at her giving her looks as though she were dumb. "We were thinking we have a struggling friend that needs to know she has our support." It was Emma who spoke up but Shawn agreed with every word. Ms. Dun nodded asking her next question.

"And you thought this would help Ms. Sloan?" They both nodded as though it were obvious. "Did the two of you ever consider that by her seeing the two of you it would only put her in a worse state than she is already in?" Both looked from each other to her confused.

"And why would that happen?" Shawn asked angered that she would ever accuse them of trying to hurt Jesse!

"I've watched the three of you interact over your time here and from what I've noticed the two of you have in ways encouraged young Jesse's behaviors which isn't healthy for her." The two looked shocked at her accusation.

"How could you even say that! Just because we don't shove food down her gullet or tackle her to keep her from vomiting dosen't mean we don't care and don't want to help her! We're just not idiots like the rest of you." Emma was standing up now ready to tackle this moron. She looked behind her seeing the security guard behind her and deciding she couldn't afford to get reported. She sat back down staring daggers at the women in front of her. The doctor laughed at Emma's response only making Emma more mad.

"Do you not get it? It's so ironic considering this is how everyone of you are. Everyone in this ward they all struggle with addictions of some sort. And the issue with addictions when it gets to this level is it has to be handled forcibly. Do you know why your friend was puking up blood yesterday? She had ruptured the outter layer of her stomach. You know what that can do? It can kill you. If we went with your treatment plan she would be dead." With that Emma stood up not wanting to hear another words.

"I won't let you stand here and tell me I'm killing my friend." With that she slammed the door not looking back. Shawn found her twenty minutes later sitting in a corner of her room he hadn't even realized existed. He sighed leaning his weight against the wall to shut it. Emma looked up from her book to watch him with a small smile.

"Well we are banned from seeing her. Ms. Dun said if we weren't found outside of our wing again then she'd have us both put in isolation as well." Emma rolled her eyes forever disgusted with Ms. Dun and her idiotic ways. "Well what do we do now?" Shawn asked looking to Emma for answers. Emma looked up from her book once again staring him blankly in the face.

"I guess we wait it out." Neither were happy about the answer but the last thing they wanted was for Jesse to end up by herself in here when they were in isolation.

Three Days Later

Emma and Shawn sat extremely bored in the rec room listening to some of the girls talk about guys not liking when they pay for a meal and then find out the they had puked it up in the restroom. Emma rolled her eyes not caring to have an opinion. Shawn listened smiling the entire time. He looked to Emma who was mimicking the girls using her hand to sign that they talked to much. This caused Shawn to laugh out loud which caused the girls to look over in irritation before huffing and leaving the room. Emma and Shawn barely held it together until they were gone before cracking up beyond control. The laughing of course stopped when a new person walked into the room. "You know it's not very polite to be so loud." They both looked up to see the girl behind them watching, her hands on her hips as though she were scolding them but the smirk on her face said differently.

"Jess?" Shawn asked, when he got a laugh in return he jumped up slamming into her, Emma following suit.

"I can't believe you're here! They didn't tell us you'd be back so soon! Thank God, this place was becoming so boring." Jesse laughed at their sweet words all the while flipping her hair.

"Of course it's boring, the fun leaves with me. You should have seen all the fun we were having up in isolation." Both looked slightly confused.

"Who's we?" Emma asked.

"Me, myself, and I." With that the three retreated to Emma and Jesse's room to not be overheard.

Authors note: Thank you all for the super sweet reviews! I really appreciate them and care about you all so much. You guys always make my day. Thanks once again and I will see you all again very soon.

Movie to watch: The Shack

Song to listen to: Jolly Sailor Bold

Book to read: Skin and Bones

Byeeeee


	45. Chapter 45

They Never Knew

Chapter 45

Secrets Don't Stay That Way Forever

Authors note: I'm really sorry for the delay. My sister got surgery and no offense but she's priority. Also just the stresses of regular life. Anyway hopefully an extra chapter and some drama will make up for it!

To the story…

Emma and Shawn followed behind Jess looking slightly apprehensive but never able to say no to the girl. She sat down cross legged on Emma's bed patting it so the three sat down together. She waited till both were settled comfortably. "So you want to hear about all the drama of isolation?" She said smirking. Both nodded eager to hear what type of trouble she had managed to get herself into.

"Well there obviously wasn't much to do and to be honest I was out the first few days because of the stupid sedatives they gave me. Anyway, I basically made friends with this one nurse and bugged the rest to death. Finally they would only send her in because the others couldn't stand me. She was way nicer than the others and much more understanding and gentle. They put a tube in my stomach so she would have to pump food into it and she kept it on a slow pace so it wouldn't hurt as bad. So I got what I want." She said the last part happily shrugging as though none of it was a big deal.

As much as Emma and Shawn loved having Jess back they were still worried for her. Things had to be pretty bad if she had been drugged and tubed. "Your better now right?" Shawn asked trying to remain calm but not doing very well. Jess looked over smiling lightly at him. She put her hand over his squeezing tightly.

"I'm fine, you guys don't need to worry about me." She said looking between the two. Emma rolled her eyes nudging the girl next to her.

"We will always worry about you, it's what we do." Jess smiled pulled the two in for a hug. After a few minutes she sighed.

"You guys want to play Scrabble?"

The three had been at it for an hour now and Jess was of course dominating (she only chose games she knew she could win). Emma and Shawn complained playfully that she was cheating and they were going to quit. They were all laughing extremely hard at the word Jess had just displayed on the board when Jess looked up the smile fading of her lips only slightly. Emma noticed first looking behind her slightly seeing Ms. Dun watching them.

Emma turned looking to the others "What's she doing here?" She muttered so only the two in front of her could hear. Shawn shrugged trying not to be bothered by it. Jess of course was completely bothered and had given up on paying attention to the game all together. Emma felt her blood boiling as Jess only continued to become more and more shut in. Whatever Ms. Dun had said or had done to her it had truly changed Jess.

Jess the girl who had no problem telling anyone off or defying any rules was now staring aimlessly at the board not noticing either of her friend's concerned looks. Emma finally couldn't stand it anymore! "Can we help you!" She yelled from across the room. Ms. Dun stared at her seeming to be analyzing her before leaving the room. She turned to her friend as she slowly sat back down not knowing how her friend would react. Shawn reached out taking her hand. She seemed to notice they were there now and realized that witch wasn't there anymore. She let out a breath of relief. Smiling at Emma gratefully before continuing the game.

It was another hour until they were called to dinner. Shawn and Emma got up noting that Jess seemed to be trying to control her breathing, of course as soon as she saw the two staring at her she got up heading towards the door. They sat in their usual space talking about anything and everything. Plenty of laughter was thrown around. Emma and Shawn both restrained themselves as Jess finished her plate. They couldn't be happier.

Jess wouldn't sit still after dinner she kept staring anxiously at the restrooms. Both knew she was struggling but they were determined to distract her. They watched T.V and tried to get her to tell them about her most recent lover. She smiled going into a very detailed explanation of how they met and where they ended. Their plan seemed to have worked. Jess would be fine eventually.

The three stayed in the rec room until curfew was upon them. They made their way to their rooms saying goodnight to Shawn before heading into their own. They seamlessly moved around each other as they got ready. There were the tired goodnights as both got into bed.

Gasping

Emma heard gasping

Then Emma woke up

She was coated in sweat, she quickly looked over at Jess. 'Thank God!' She thought quietly upon seeing her friend still sound asleep. She rolled over to go back to bed before looking at the clock. Her eyes widened 'We're late!' She popped out of bed speed walking over to Jess. "Jess hey! We missed breakfast, Dumpster's going to kill us." She shook her friend when words failed her. She sighed "Alright this calls for desperate measures." She jumped on top of her friend tickling her ruthlessly. She sighed as this tactic failed to. "Jess we have to go!" She shook her one more time. That's when she noticed…she wasn't moving.

"Jess?" She flipped her completely onto her back. Looking for any sign of life. Her chest wasn't moving and she couldn't hear breathing! She quickly put her fingers on her friends neck and wrist not finding a pulse on either. "Jess! Wake up!" She put her head against her friends heart listening to any signs of life…there was nothing. "Jess! Someone help!" She couldn't breathe. Jess wasn't waking up…

Shawn had heard Emma's screams as he walked down the hallway towards their room to scold them (jokingly of course) for ditching him at therapy and breakfast. He had left early and decided to see what was wrong when he heard Emma's hysterical screams. He bolted towards their rooms barging into their room to see Emma on top of Jess doing compressions on her chest as though her life depended on it. Emma didn't see him until he stepped towards her. "Emm what's wrong?" She looked up tears streaming down her face.

"Shawn find someone-anyone you can! We need to get her to the emergency room she's not breathing and I can't find a pulse!" Shawn was out the door in .5 seconds. He found Ms. Dun's office not bothering to knock as he came in.

"What is the-" "I need you to shut up because Jess isn't breathing! We need someone's help and I'm hoping you know what to do! She needs a doctor! Get her a doctor!" He ran out of the office and back to Emma's room knowing she would follow him. When he came back in Emma was still at it refusing to give up on her friend. "Emm I found someone, their coming. It's going to be ok." Emma nodded but didn't stop the compressions. When Ms. Dun entered the room she analyzed before pulling out her cellphone and calling people. Within two minutes a whole medical team was in the room pulling Emma off of Jess. Before doing whatever they had to do to save her life. Emma and Shawn refused to leave, they watched from the entrance of the room with Ms. Dun who was barely holding herself together.

Emma watched desperate for Jess to live. The medics resumed compressions and put another tube down Jess's throat before pumping oxygeon into her. They shocked her repeatedly. Emma jumping each time. Emma felt the hope drain from her as each shock got stronger but did nothing to bring Jess back. The only hope she had left was Shawn squeezing her shoulder. If Shawn believed she would be alright she had to be alright.

Shawn had his arm around Emma trying to provide them as much comfort as he could. He knew she needed a person as much as he did. Jesse would be alright, she had to be. They were in a hospital with unlimited doctors. Besides she ate last night, that was a good sign right? She was going to get better and be fine.

It had been an hour. An hour since Emma woke up. An hour since Emma heard that gasp. The doctor's had said it was a heart attack. "Her body had been under so much stress from everything that she had put it through and it couldn't handle it. She had died minutes before you found her. There was nothing any of us could do. If we had brought her back now she would have died in the ICU. I'm very sorry for your loss." With that Ms. Dun led the Doctors out. Emma and Shawn were left alone with Jess. This was when they say goodbye.

Emma didn't move. Shawn took a breath coming towards the bed where their pale friend laid. She was so still something she had never been before. She looked so different, but she was still their Jess, the same old Jess. Her lips were parted slightly as though she were still taking in air, and from where Emma stood she could almost see her chest rising and falling. Shawn couldn't stand it any longer. His body shook with tears as he held her hand. He ran his fingers through her soft hair and along her face. He leaned down "You were the best Jess, goodbye." He kissed her forehead, his tears rolling down his cheeks and onto hers.

Emma watched the scene as though she weren't in the room. She felt like she was floating far far away from this horrible moment. It was all her fault. If she had just reacted faster to her friend GASPING then this wouldn't be happening! Emma clenched her eyes shut not able to think about all the things she was guilty of. Shawn looked up silently asking Emma if she wanted to. Emma took a deep breath nodding shakily as she walked towards Jess. She looked her up and down noting all the things different before reaching down and hugging her. "I'm so sorry." She whispered into her ear before sitting up and leaning against Shawn. "Bye Jess." She said, her voice cracking as she spoke. Shawn held her tight as Emma broke down. "It's all my fault! I'm so so sorry Jess!" Shawn rocked her back and forth consoling her and shushing her. Emma finally calmed down. She was asleep when they took the body away. Shawn laid her in bed crawling in next to her knowing she wouldn't want ot be alone.

When Emma woke up she had a pounding headache and everything was blurry. She frowned feeling the warmth that was enveloping her. She opened her eyes looking into the sleeping face of Shawn. She smiled sadly snuggling closer to him for a minute before deciding she had to move. She gently and quietly made her way out of the bed and into the bathroom. She took off her clothes slowly as though every movement was robotic. She turned to shower on allowing the scalding water to take her over. She reached for her razor sinking down to the floor with it.

' **This is your fault and you know it. Please do everyone a favor and end it. Do it for Jess."** Emma couldn't argue anything the voice said to her. It was all true. She felt so empty. There really wasn't a point to any of this. None of them were getting better. She was a mess….Jess was a mess. She didn't matter. Emma positioned the blade right along the vein of her arm cutting down horizontally. She gasped feeling the pain explode through her arm. The shaking began almost instantly and she had to rush to get the other one done before she dropped the razor. Her breathing was panicked and rushed but she actually felt very calm. She smiled as everything started to go black…maybe now she'd be at peace.

Shawn frowned when he woke up to the empty bed. 'Where did she go?' He wondered to himself before he heard the shower running he understood deciding to wait until she was done so he could go in. He wouldn't leave her alone though, to be honest he didn't want to be alone either.

After twenty minutes though he couldn't handle it anymore. "Emma I really have to pee so I'm just going to come in use the bathroom and leave ok? I promise I won't look." He yelled through the door before walking inside. He did his business and was washing his hands when he looked in the mirror. He froze…"Emma?" There was no response.

In the mirror he could see blood. Only blood. He jumped into the shower immediately finding Emma bloody and nude. He grabbed a towel putting it roughly over her wrists trying to stop the bleeding. Please don't die! Please PLEASE don't die!" He yelled as he cried and continued to try to protect his friend. He picked her up carrying her into the bedroom and laying her on the bed. "Emma I swear to God you better not die on me! I will not forgive you for this if you die." There was no response and fear was becoming more and more obvious as he shook. He put a blanket over her body before continuing to try to fix her wrists.

Ms. Dun came in with two trays of breakfast when she saw what was going on all that could be heard was the sound of glass breaking. They could not lose another person! Another person would not be lost! Of course can you make someone stay when all they want to do is go?

"I keep the pain inside because I'd rather let it destroy me than everyone else."


	46. Chapter 46

They Never Knew

Chapter 46

It's Never Okay

Authors note: Hello! I'm baaack. Alright so I'm super stoked to be writing this again and hopefully we will go very far. Important things are about to happen so be ready! ANNNNDDDD let's go!

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own OUAT or I would be in it as Amy herself.

Story starts here….you've been warned

Ringing

All Amy could hear was ringing

The late shifts she was working to pay Emma's bills were killing her, but she would do anything to save her sister….anything.

Emma was okay, that was all that mattered.

There was the hint of a smile as Amy snuggled back into her covers….

RING!

RING!

RING!

Groaning

Creaking of the hardwood floor as she made her way towards the phone.

Voices?

No…one voice?

Hoarse and worried.

Why was she worried?

All it took was one word for Amy to be out the door.

No thought required.

Emma.


	47. Chapter 47

They Never Knew

Chapter 47

When It All Comes Undone

Authors note: (gasp!) Another chapter? Wow Kaitlyn thank you so much! Haha I'm just joshing with you. I swear this chapter is longer. BYEEE!

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own OUAT or I would be in it as Amy herself.

Warning: There is a suicide attempt, mentions of death, and self-harm with self-loathing.

Here we go….

Amy ran as fast as she could to the hospital doors as she slammed the door to the taxi. She made it to the front desk hurriedly explaining the situation. "I'm here for Emma! Emma Swan." She tapped her hand on the desk wanting to punch the secretary who kept questioning her. "Let her through." Both the secretary and Amy looked up as the women came up. Amy smiled gratefully following her as they made their way to Emma's room.

"Thank you Ms. Dun." She nodded sadly as she showed the girl where her sister was.

"Listen Amy. There are some things you should know. Apparently Emma's been self-harming for a month or so now. She slit her wrists pretty deep and she wasn't found until thirty minutes after. If Shawn hadn't found her she would already be gone…the point is. There's no guarantee she will make it through this. I am so so sorry Amy." Amy nodded trying her hardest not to cry. She looked to where her sister was lying in a bed pale as a ghost, her wrists bandaged and restrained.

"Amy?" She quickly looked over alarmed. Calming down when she saw it was Shawn.

"Hey Shawn." He came towards her and she pulled him into a hug. He was shocked to say the least. He hadn't been planning to see her but when he did he had planned to apologize for not finding Emma sooner, now he was being…hugged? He hugged her back embracing someone who had begun to feel like a friend. He really needed a friend right now.

He finally pulled away from her, quickly missing the warmth. Before he could say anything Amy spoke. "Thank you." He stared at her no understanding.

"What do you mean? If I had found her earlier she would be ok! A-and now…" He broke down cursing himself for crying in front of his best friend's sister, who had a lot more going on than him. He was only confused further when he felt arms envelop him and someone hug him rocking him gently as he had done for Emma only hours before.

"Shhhh. Shawn…you saved her. You saved Emma and I am so grateful for that. So don't you dare blame yourself, not for one second. You are my hero right now. Don't forget it." They stayed like this until a doctor came up attempting to not give them stares that were too odd. They quickly got up fearing the worst. "What is it? Has she gotten worse?"

The doctor stared at her skeptically. "Are you Amy Swan?" She nodded annoyed that he wouldn't answer her questions. "Emma hasn't gotten worse but she hasn't gotten better either. She is on a breathing machine and is having blood transfused currently. She is on the brink though so there is no guarantee if she will even make it through the night. We will have her on constant watch. I actually came out here to ask if you would be willing to donate blood, we are running quite low and Emma lost a lot." Amy nodded numbly Shawn following. They would do whatever it took to save Emma.

Shawn held Amy's hand neither saying a word as both had a pint drawn. They were in their own worlds of worry. Every once in a while exchanging a glance to make sure the other was still there. They were all they had at the moment. A very odd feeling for people who had been strangers not too long ago.

Both sat by Emma's bed watching as the tubes carried liquids that would save her life. Finding hope in the sound of Emma's heartbeat. Emma's breathing sounded struggled, but oddly she looked at peace. This was the one thing that gave Amy comfort if anything went wrong. As least her sister wouldn't suffer. This was the kind of time where she wished she had parents, the ones who would stay by her side through it all and tell her it would all be okay and they were a family so it would all work out. Of course that wasn't going to happen, because they didn't have parents. The longer amount of time that passed where there were no signs of their parents the more she didn't give a crap if they ever found them. She was always considered the more hopeful one of her and Emma but Emma was the one who never gave up hope on finding them, and as long as Emma wanted to keep looking Amy would stick by her through it all.

Amy popped up from her sleeping position laying her head and arms on Emma's bed. She frowned hearing that same beeping again. She looked up seeing Emma's monitors spiking. "I need a doctor in here now!" She ran out of the room grabbing the first 'official' person she could find. She watched from the corner with Shawn as they shocked Emma. There was a sigh of relief from everyone in the room as her heart entered a normal rate again. "Oh thank God!" She clung to Shawn as though he were a lifeline before running to Emma hugging her as tightly as she dared. Emma would be okay. She had to be.


	48. Chapter 48

They Never Knew

Chapter 48

Everything Hurts

Authors note: Thank you thank you thank you for all of the amazing support! I never imagined this story would be as successful as it is (in my opinion). You guys give me so much happiness when you do something as simple as favoriting this story. Welcome all new followers! Whether you're following me or this story (though I personally think you should follow both because you never know what my mind is going to come up with . Anywho I just wanted to thank everyone. Alright I will now shut up and let you read the story…enjoy!

Amy stayed the entire night feeling a sickening odd amount of comfort from being close to her sister even adding in the reason she was there. It made her feel so guilty knowing even when her sister had tried to end her life she still wanted to sleep next to her rather than sleep on her own and know Emma was okay. One of those guilty pleasures she supposed? She never had really known how those worked. She furrowed her brow no longer feeling the need to sleep as she looked up to see her tired and broken sister's face. She hoped she was dreaming in her medical induced state. Amy didn't understand how she could do this! She was so mad! So mad at her sister for thinking that this world would be fine without her- that she would be fine without her!

She knew she would have to sit and listen and understand when Emma woke up. She knew it would be a while before she could actually voice her disappointment and hurt, but it didn't change that it was there. After all they had been through! Amy had assumed after all this time that Emma was indestructible. Well…she had been wrong before.

Her phone beeped causing her to take her eyes off of her sister. Looking down she saw it was a message from Hell (also known as work). She rolled her eyes quickly sending a text saying she couldn't come and to move all of her appointments. She took a breath running her fingers along Emma's arm as they had done when they were kids. Emma always used to fall asleep to the sensation. Seeing her sister was safe for the time being she laid her head down deciding sleep was for the best.

Amy frowned when she felt something running along her hair. As much as the sensation could lure her to sleep she was too freaked out by the fact someone was touching her to allow it. She frowned as she opened her eyes, the sun was shining into the room apparently trying to blind her. It took a moment for her vision to clear before the face became clearer…"Emma!"

Her sister smiled sadly at her. Never stopping the movement of her hand as she played with her hair. This had always calmed her sister down. Something she most definitely needed right now. "Hey Ams." Her voice was a soft whisper after such a long time without use. It had officially been two weeks since Emma was conscious. This left a very loud silence between the two. Neither wanting to start a fight. They just stared…finally it was Emma who spoke. She sighed trying to be as gentle as possible. "I'm sorry." She looked down not wanting to see the look of despair in Amy's eyes.

She looked up through her lashes. Amy wasn't looking at her either. Instead she was glaring at the sheets sadly. Her eyes were watering and her brows were furrowed, jaw clenched as she decided what she wanted to say. "How?" Emma frowned watching her sister. She knew Amy didn't mean how did she do it. The doctors would have already told her all of that. But Emma was still on a lot of medication and wasn't really that focused, not nearly enough to be able to decipher her sisters confusing words. Her sister looked up anger burning in her eyes. "How could you do this to me? Leave me here?" Emma stared into her eyes not knowing what to say.

Her throat swelled in pain as she tried to swallow the knot that was forming. "I-it wasn't intentional. I had originally just been trying to get rid of the pain and then I cut too deep and I felt so weak and powerless and I..I just thought…I thought you were better off." She said it in a hushed whisper now seeing how stupid that was going to sound to Amy. She stared at the comforter watching it become wet as her tears sprinkled across it.

"Better off! You-you have got to be kidding me! You're my sister! You can't just…" Her sentence faded as she watched Emma's shoulders shake with sobs. She inwardly scolded herself for making her hurt sister cry. She crawled into the bed hugging her tight. "Never mind…it doesn't matter. Just…please don't leave me again. Or next time I'll be right behind you." She could hear Emma laugh slightly before completely clutching to her. They stayed like that for a very long time.


	49. Chapter 49

They Never Knew

Chapter 49

It Always Comes Back

Present Time

Amy shut her eyes tight remembering that day very well. How could she not? It's when this all first started. She had waited and waited for Emma to wake up and she had never given up hope, but that was before things only got worse for both of them. Now she understood. She understood too well. It was her who first started this. Emma had never meant to end her life that day after all. It was only a release. When Amy did it. She had ever intent of never coming back.

Her breathing was becoming shallow and her vision was blurring. She gripped the window seal supporting herself on it as she focused all energy on not falling. She was confused when she felt some of the weight come off of her. She looked to see Killian and her dad supporting her. Both were giving her worried looks. "I-I'm fine…just need to sit." She hesitantly lowered herself to the ground. Surprisingly both men came down with her. Hook gentle put a hand on her knee, after a few seconds she rested her head on her dad's shoulder.

The other's watched feeling the same worry for the girl but knowing she wouldn't want to be surrounded. Everyone gave her a minute to calm down as the girl looked like she was on the verge of passing out. Without a word Regina got up and went to the soda machine only a few feet from them. While she was doing this Henry reached into his bag grabbing a granola bar and walking towards Amy. He crouched down right in front of her. Holding the bar out. "These are Emma's favorites." Amy smiled pulling him in for a hug.

"I know. We used to eat them quite often." She left out that it was the easiest thing to steal from a gas station or that that's what they offered a lot at the homeless shelters her and Emma went to. "Thanks Henry." She kissed his forehead as he curled his head into the crook of her shoulder. Regina came over holding out a water. "Thanks Regina" She said gratefully taking the water.

Snow finally spoke up after deeming her daughter was okay. "So Emma hadn't meant to do it then? She hadn't meant to die that day?" Amy looked up at her with wide eyes, making her look much younger than she actually was.

"No…she hadn't meant to die. I think it was just how she handled pain." Snow nodded hope filling her face.

"Maybe she hadn't meant to this time either! Maybe she's not suicidal. She was just releasing pain. It's a possibility right?" She looked to the rest of the group hope rising in everyone's eyes except Amy. She didn't say anything, she wasn't ready to end this happiness too. She had already ruined so much. There of course was no prolonging it as everyone turned to her trying to figure out if this was true.

Amy kept her head down. Hook finally nudging her to get her attention. "Could that be true?" He whispered, she didn't have to look up to know there was hope in his eyes. Amy shook her head.

"If Emma hadn't wanted to die she would have texted one of us. Her phone was right next to her. Or she could have contacted me or Regina with magic. She chose not to do any of that. There's also a trick to self-harm…all cutters know it. You only cut vertically if you're ready to not come back…Emma's cuts were vertical…sorry." It was silent in the room until Henry looked up at Amy.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Amy looked down at his sweet little face. Man she loved that kid.

"I don't know kid…I don't know."

Everyone sat in silence. Everyone except Amy. The whole time the words still playing through her head over and over. 'It's your fault.'


	50. Chapter 50

They Never Knew

Chapter 50

Not Everyone Can See Pain

Authors note: I big big thank you for all new followers and any reviews that have been received. I've gotten mostly support on this story and I'm super grateful. I was kind of weary of this chapter at this moment since I'm just now starting it, but hopefully this will be good enough. Have a great night and hopefully enjoy this! It is what you requested after all…(cough cough) so it's your fault if it sucks.

Here ya go!

David

As I sat there watching Amy-my daughter- stared aimlessly at the floor. Her shoulders felt so frail as her breathing was shallow. It was almost as though Amy's health had deteriorated with Emma's. The longer I sit here listening to her story the more I can't help but feel guilt and sadness. This overwhelming sadness that I can't help but understand why they've done what they have. And it probably doesn't even compare to the sadness they have felt! I honestly don't understand how they've made it this far. Of course this thought only brings more fear, if Emma's decided it's too much why hasn't Amy?

Killian

Going on the mupltiple times I've felt useless tonight this only adds to it. I'm sitting here staring at my hand on Amy's leg and it's all I can do! Not to mention trying to ignore the massive disappoint I'm feeling knowing that Emma is indeed wanting to end her life. I can feel myself becoming panicky and angry thinking about how the will to live plays into a persons life and if Emma's in a critical stage her will to live will have a lot to do with her making it through this. As I sit here watching Amy struggle to keep herself together my sympathy only grows for the two girls I have come to love so dearly.

Snow

I wanted to move so badly. To help my daughter, but not only was I not fast enough…I couldn't move. Sitting there watching Amy fighting to stay upright, I felt my heart stop. As though I was going to lose both of my daughters at the same time, right in front of me. I don't think I've ever been more thankful in my life for Killians support. I may not always like him, but I can't deny his care and love for my daughters. The closer I look at Amy the more my fear rises, she's tracing the scars along her arms where she had already tried this before and the look of fear, sadness, and…utter death. It's enough to scare anyone who has someone they care about. Not to mention a mother.

Regina

I don't really know what came over me, it was as though the mother in me was screaming to help an acquaintance, a friend? I might not really know how I feel about the Swan's but what I do know is I don't want them to die. My anger that had been rising against Emma was squashed as soon as I heard about her friend. It broke my heart even further to watch my son try to help. He just cared so much, just as we all do. I can only hope it's enough to help both of the sisters stay with us.

Robin

To be honest I don't even feel right being here right now. I don't really know either of the Swan's well and to be here for such a sad moment hearing their entire history. It just doesn't feel right, but I know Amy's slowly becoming my friend and if she didn't want me here she would have asked me to leave. This much I do know about the girl sitting on the floor.

Henry

My stomach hurt when I saw Amy hurting

When I saw her get to the floor.

To be honest

I didn't go to her just for her

I went for me too

She was family

And the closest thing I had to a mom at the moment

She smelled as close to my mom as anyone here

I love her

I don't want her ot be in pain

It scares me

I don't want my mom to be in pain either

But I don't think she can be okay just yet

As much as it breaks me to think about it

Hearing Amy say she didn't know if mom would be okay was even worse

One of the worse pains I've ever felt

Everything hurts

The only thing that makes me feel better is hugging Amy

So that's what I do

I sit there hugging her while we split our granola bar.

I don't know what she's thinking about

But I'm pretty sure it's mom

I know that because that's what I'm thinking about too.


	51. Chapter 51

They Never Knew

Chapter 51

Moving Past the Pain

Authors note: So thank you again for all of the nice reviews, followers, and favorites! It really inspires me to keep this story going. I'm not sure how long this chapter will be but hopefully you will all enjoy.

Amy bit her lip focusing on the taste of the granola bar that was sitting in her mouth. She had to keep chewing, she didn't want to attract attention. It was times like these she had to remind herself to keep eating. She knew it was what she needed. She just couldn't help it sometimes. In the world they had lived in you had to be beautiful to make money. So that's what she did, she stayed beautiful, but food wasn't part of beautiful.

Amy shook off the thought swallowing the delicious morsel. Reminding herself to stay strong. She was healthy. That was what mattered. With that she quickly ate the rest of the bar and slowly drank her water. After she was done there was a peaceful moment of silence, she laid her head back and closed her eyes. Just resting, that was until she felt Henry move on her lap. "What happened after she woke up?" She opened her eyes staring at her adorable nephew. She sat up sighing, pulling him close.

"Well she slowly began to get better."

Back Flash

Emma and Amy had been laughing about something the two were talking about. Most likely joking about the strict doctors that filled the hallways. Oh, if only they knew what a hard job actually was. Amy rolled her eyes every time one of them came in talking in their mundane voices looking so bored and miserable they would accept death then and there. Emma would watch from her spot in the bed smirking at Amy's antics. As soon as one would leave they would laugh and laugh.

Ever since Emma had woken up Shawn and Amy hadn't left her side. Things had been awkward at first with Shawn considering he was royally angry at her, and had every right to be. He didn't yell, he didn't say anything. All he did was stare at her and then lay down next to her for what felt like ever. Being a huge comfort in the moment. There was a very long silence before Emma said the words she knew he needed. "I'm sorry." He sighed nodding before pulling her closer.

Emma cringed remembering when they actually fought.

Emma had been sitting in the bed reading a book Amy had brought her, it was her favorite book. Shawn came in seemingly determined. He slammed the door to her room making her look up at him. "I don't get it." He said standing in front of her looking quite furious. Emma didn't say anything as she watched him. "I don't get what you were thinking! I play it over and over again in my head trying to figure out what you were thinking, but I can't! I can't because it doesn't make sense! How could you do that to me! How could you leave me there after Jesse was GONE! You were going to leave me there to find you dead! Do you know what that would have done to me! Emma you are the only person I still have in my life! I CAN"T lose you. Do you get that?" Emma was staring at the sheets gripping them tightly.

"I didn't mean to." It was quiet, almost inaudible. Shawn heard her though. He saw down next to her.

"What do you mean?" She sighed trying to hold it together, she didn't have a right to cry when he was barely holding himself together.

"I-You know that's something I do. You and Jess had dealt with it before. It wasn't supposed to be any different. By the time I knew I had cut too deep I figured I wouldn't make it anyway. The thought of using the energy to call for you sounded too painful…Shawn I never NEVER meant to leave you in that position!" It was a hushed whisper by the end but the effect still stood. Emma finally looked up seeing the compassion and pain in his eyes and…love? He put his hand over hers. A silent 'it's okay.'

"There's something else I need to apologize for." She said after a few moments. He looked up confused not being able to think of anything. "I'm sorry about Jess-"

"Emm stop. That wasn't your fault." She shook her head adamantly.

"You don't get it! I heard her. I hear her gasp in the middle of the night and I thought it was nothing, just a bad dream so I went back to sleep! I let her die while I was sleeping! It was all my fault. I'm sorry Shawn. I'm so sorry…I-if you never want to see me again I get it, but just know you can't hate me anymore than I hate myself." She stared ahead legs pulled up to her chest. There was no movement. Time seemed to be frozen. Finally she looked to him confused as to why he hadn't left. There were tears running down his cheeks. Just as she was getting ready to ask why he was crying she was pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Don't ever think that Emma! It wasn't your fault. I would have done the same thing. Jess may be gone but I know she wouldn't want you to think that way either. She would want us to move on and have good lives. She wouldn't ever want you to feel like this. So please please don't say that." Both began crying and holding onto each other for dear life. Neither one having felt whole since Jess. And hopefully both would be able to move on.


	52. Chapter 52

They Never Knew

Chapter 52

Recovery Is a Long Process

Emma was feeling much better. She was on medicine now to help with everything, she was talking to a therapist, and she was getting a lot of the time with Amy and Shawn, which was always a good thing. She and Shawn had been on good terms since they had both been honest. Emma could tell Amy still had a lot to stay but was most likely waiting till she deemed Emma stronger. She would be lying if she said she wasn't scared of what Mrs. Dune would say. She had made it quite clear that Emma wouldn't have contact with Amy if she did this stuff so she was just enjoying every moment with her sister before punishment set in. Amy seemed to know it too. Always spending the night with her, being by her side whenever she could.

Shawn brought her and Amy things all the time both constantly rolling their eyes saying he didn't have to but also really enjoying his kindness. He would always tell them stories of one of his many travels. Or stories his dad told him, Amy and Emma settled for horror stories or stories from the homes they had been in. They trusted Shawn. They wouldn't tell him everything, but stories of the homes couldn't hurt.

Amy smiled as she watched Shawn and Emma interact. Her eyes widened only a fraction as she realized. Shawn likes Emma! She smiled watching as he animated everything to make Emma more interested and laughed and smiled at anything Emma said, but he still got feisty with her and scolded her as any friend would. He was Emma's best friend. And he had just become Amy's favorite person to put that smile on Emma's face.

She looked up as he doctor came in. He was smiling which was unusual, but he was one of the nicer doctors. "Emma I'm happy to say you're cleared to go back to your room. Just...don't let me see you in here again alright?" She saluted him laughing as he made his way out. She looked to Shawn and Amy smiling brightly. Shawn began shaking her and screaming. Amy laughed at the two thinking about how cute a couple they'd make. Shawn only stayed a little longer before saying he had already missed curfew. He nudged Emma and patted Amy on the back before making his way out. Once he was one Amy heaved herself up dramatically and moved to lay next to her sister. Once they were side by side she nudged her slyly. "So when we're you going to tell me?" She said smirking at her sister.

"Tell you what?"

"You know. You and Shawn. Being all adorable."

"We're best friends, aren't we allowed to be adorable?" Amy rolled her eyes seeing as her sister was apparently completely obvious!

"Emm that boy obviously likes you." Emma watched her frowning amused.

"You think he has a crush." It was more of an accusation that a statement.

"In fact I do." Emma rolled her eyes playing with the sheets. Amy frowned watching her...

"You like him too!" She watched wide eyes. Emma wouldn't deny it. She looked at her meekly.

"Of course I do, how could I not" Amy conceded.

"He is pretty cute." Emma looked up excited to have her sister on her side (not that she thought it would be any other way)

"I know right! Plus he's nice and sweet and he's always been there for me. I...I didn't want to tell you this before but there was an incident similar to this one once before and Jen found me but her and Shawn spent the night stitching me up and taking care of me. I think he really cares." Emma almost didn't even catch what she had said until she looked up into the heart broken and confused doe eyes staring back at her

"You...you tried this before?" It was high pitched and Emma could immediately tell she was going to cry.

"Oh geez Ams I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I-it wasn't suicide and don't worry they weren't as deep! I just passed out that's all." Amy stayed quiet through the explanation. Her eyes moving between Emma's and the bed sheets until they finally stayed glued on the bed sheets. She was frowning brow furrowed as she tried to understand. She finally looked up. Betrayal was evident in her eyes.

"And you didn't tell me?" Emma stayed quiet not knowing what to say. "I've been here for you. This entire time and you lose enough blood to go unconscious and don't think I have a right to know! I'm your sister! I'm your best friend! I helped you get in here and it only makes you worse and you can't even tell me! But then I forgot you made new friends to replace me with...whatever." With that Amy got up and walked out the door. Emma knew she would be back. The problem was knowing what she would say then.


	53. Chapter 53

They Never Knew

Chapter 53

I Wish You Could Stay

Authors note: I'm not going to make some long apology about this being late because it's here and that's all that matters. I hope everyone enjoys it.

Also to Hanne (guest) who was KIND enough to review my story here is the response I'd like to give you. I don't know who you think you are but before you go disparaging my work maybe you should at least know there were 52 chapters by the time you commented which most likely means you didn't bother to actually read my story from beginning to end. So therefore you cullion, I see no use for your comments. I began this story looking for ways to bring encouragement not only to myself but to others. So your idiotic comments, not to mention your losel self, are not welcome here, goodbye.

Now to the story…

Emma sat on the bed not really knowing what to do with herself. Amy hadn't come the day before, most likely still mad from their argument. There had never been a time when Amy wasn't there when she needed her. She needed to talk to her sister about her problems. Not to boring serious ones that she would rather just forget about, but her boy troubles! Ever since realzing Shawn liked her and that felt the same she couldn't think straight! Shawn was here all the time, whenever she needed him. He hardly ever left her side. This was sweet and all but she couldn't talk about HIM to HIM! She needed Amy, badly.

Amy walked to work begrudgingly the next day. She knew she needed to talk to Emma, but she just couldn't face her yet. She knew she sounded petty, but it still hurt! Knowing your sister went through something so traumatic that she was on the floor passed out with her friends sewing her up and she didn't even get a call! It hurt! She rolled her eyes as she made into the disgusting building. She went to the room assigned for her changing into whatever was laid out on the bed. Today it happened to be a pure white lacy bra with underwear to match. Amy could have laughed, she was anything but pure. She frowned repeating that sentence in her head. She truly was disgusting.

Shawn had been watching Emma all day…in a total non creepy way. She had been mopey and transparent. She would listen to him go on and on about the ridiculous new rules in place and make jokes and Emma would smile and even chuckle at a few but it was like she wasn't even really there. After a few hours of this he couldn't take it anymore. "Okay what happened?" She hummed not looking up from her craft she was doing…since when does Emma do crafts? "You're not even listening to me are you?" The only response he receieved was another hum. "I'm a purple platypus that lost it's family." It was almost immediate.

"That's nice." Was her simply response. He would not deal with this! Waving his hands in front of her face he began yelling.

"Earth to Emma! You still with me birdbrain?" She shoved him away from her laughing.

"Yes yes sorry. What did you want to talk about?"

"Why you just told me it was nice that I was a purple platapus that missed my family." Emma frowned replaying their conversations and certainly not remembering that one.

"Umm…because you have me?" She said smiling as though she knew she had been caught, which she had. He laughed shaking his head before moving closer.

"Seriously though Emm, what's wrong. You've been weird all day. And don't tell me it's nothing because I know you and I know it's not nothing." She sighed staring at him. While he wasn't positive of what it meant he knew this look. He received it when Emma was opening up what-so-ever. It was a look he hardly ever got because…well Emma hardly ever opened up.

"Amy's mad at me because I didn't tell her about my cuts." He patted her back knowing she was in the wrong but knowing it was not his place to point that out. "It's just, it's not like I didn't want to tell her! We've never had secrets! She's the closest person in my life and it was awful not to tell her but she didn't need that on her plate…I was just trying to protect her." Shawn held Emma close as the entire situation made itself real to her and she cried. Nothing ridiculous but just a few tears. All Emma needed was people. And people she would have as long as he was around.


	54. Chapter 54

They Never Knew

Chapter 54

True Friends Always Come Around

Authors note: Wow! I have been so focused on writing this in the best I cannot believe I have written 54 chapters of this story! It's been a very long journey considering I started this what three years ago? Oh my gosh! Honestly I'm just sorry that I haven't been able to keep up with it. I'm trying to I promise, and hopefully I will be able to write more. Just certain things that I won't bore you with came up. Anyway no more sob story or anything. I'm just going to let you get to this chapter that is long overdue.

Here we go…

Amy clenched her hands into fists as she persuaded herself to walk into the stinkin building that held her sister. She desperately didn't want to go in, didn't want to hear the reasons why she did what she did, didn't want to fight or argue. She just wanted things the way they used to be. When they were together and honest, but alas she was here because she couldn't handle one more night or nightmares or just not sleeping. It had been this way since they were kids. They would argue, one would leave, and then she would have nightmares about something horrible happening to Emma up until they made up. Honestly it was exhausting. Why couldn't they just be normal? The world will never know.

Finally after enough convincing and some nail marks set in her palms she was making her way towards Emma's room. Stopping just outside the door she took a deep breath before entering. Emma was…sewing? She stopped short just seeing the odd cloth in her sister's hands. She pointed completely absent of words. Emma looked up shocked that she was even there!

"Hey!" It was a question and surprised statement. One she didn't even think to say and honestly sounded kind of stupid for. Something so simple after the last ever so complicated fight, but all well. She frowned watching Amy try to form a coherent sentence finally seeing what she was pointing at. "Oh! Yeah I'm learning to sew to deal with my issues." She rolled her eyes smiling at Amy's disbelieving look. "Dun's idea." She nodded seeming to understand, still not saying a word. She sat down in one of the chairs that adorned Emma's room. Emma continued to fiddle with her craft before finally putting it down as the silence became too much. "Ok look I know I had no right not to tell you, not after all you did to help me and me only making it worse but your my sister and my best friend and I knew it would disappoint you and hurt you and I was so SICK of disappointing you. You just seem so perfect Am's and like you have it all together and then there's me and I'm a complete mess who manages to only screw up or complicate your life and I was just trying to not add another mistake onto the list of our screwed up story. What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry." She was loud and angry and upset. She hadn't meant to take it out on Amy but that's how it worked. Amy was used to it by now, knowing she was one of the only people Emma could actually blow off steam with. She stared blank faced remaining as calm and collected as ever.

Emma watched so beyond desperate for her sister to at least have some sort of response! "Amy please say something." It was a desperate plea but she no longer cared. Amy finally looked back up at her.

"I forgive you. And I'm sorry too." She got up slowly as though Emma were some scared animal, when in reality it was more for her benefit than Emma's. She slowly crawled forward into Emma's awaiting embrace. They sat there like that crying like the teenagers they were. Cleaning onto each other for dear life. Finally Emma pulled away ever so slightly laughing as she wiped a few of the tears that swiped down her face.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." There was laughter all around as the two were just excited to be in each other's presence once more, because as they had learned long ago. To enjoy every moment in their world because you never knew when the next thing would hit, turning everything to dust.


	55. Chapter 55

They Never Knew

Chapter 55

The Strength Found In Hope

Authors note: Happy February everyone….even though it's like close to the end and all. Any who I don't know about you all but this month I just want to stuff chocolate in my mouth (in moderation of course). So this valentine's day I'm giving you a new chapter. I hope you all enjoy it and hope it doesn't suck. As a reason that I have struggled to update was because while I know where I want this story to go I'm having trouble adding the filler chapters to connect the dots. If there's anything you'd like to see or any ideas you have I'd appreciate it. Anyway hope you enjoy!

Emma groaned as light streamed in through her window. What was that noise? She looked around rubbing her eyes as everything was faded together from the sleepy

dirt. Once it was clear all she could imagine was why? It was Amy, most definitely Amy. She was packing? She looked up seeing Emma was awake. She was in her chill

day clothes consisting of a white tank top and her grey sweat pants shorts. She was currently putting boxes by the door…"Hey!" She said moving some hair out of her

face as she took a moment to look at the work around her.

"Amy it's not that I'm not thrilled to see you but why are you here at this god awful hour?" Amy rolled her eyes plopping up onto the bed in her usual bubbly way.

"Because it's moving day!"

"Moving day?"

"Yep!"

"Like your moving in or…-"

"No silly! You're moving out! Back into the psych ward. Your wounds are healed and you've been cleared of suicide watch, plus I gave them permission. So…yeah." Amy

jumped off the bed going to move more boxes.

"Okay? Do you want help?"

"Sure if you want to." The two girls had all the boxes out of the room within ten minutes and were making their way towards Emma's once so familiar room…Emma

stepped in while Amy waited by the door deciding on giving Emma a minute. It all looked so familiar, this place had become like a home to her…one that nearly

destroyed her. She noted that Jen's bed was no longer in the room and it smelled as though the carpets had been replaced. Emma hesitantly walked into the restroom

noting that the entire bathroom smelled of disinfectant, most definitely someone had to scrub the blood out of the shower and floors. This whole room was bittersweet,

moments going from cutting, purging, and suicide attempts. To nights full of laughter, secrets, games, and cuddles. Emma felt herself blushing thinking of Shawn

holding her tight.

She turned walking out of the room noting Amy had still not entered, just opting to look around from the doorway. "You can come in you know." Her tone showed

amusement but her face showed understanding and gratefulness for her sisters oh so considerate personality. Amy smiled back sitting her boxes on the bed before

starting to unpack.

"Does it feel weird being in here?" Amy asked after a few moments. She didn't look up at Emma as she unpacked. Emma looked around as though the answers would be

floating right in front of her.

"Umm, yeah I guess. It seems different. I'll be find though. I'd rather be in here than another room. This one at least as memories, some were pleasant you know." Amy

smiled from her spot on the floor.

"I know, I was here for a few of them. Those were some of the more fun nights I've head in a while."

"Amy I'm really going to try you know?" She looked up confused as to what the heck Emma was talking about. "Here, getting better, about everything. I promise, I'll be

out soon and be helping you out again. I promise. I know I haven't really been there for you and I'm sorry." Amy looked at her frown furrowed and eyes ever so serious.

Emma couldn't tell what she was thinking and it made her beyond nervous.

"Emm you don't owe me any apologies. You're here to get better and it's going to be a journey. Let's just focus on the positives okay? I mean you've been without drug

s for two months. That's an accomplishment. It's also one of the reasons you're here so that's out of the way. I know you're going to get better, you don't have to

convince me. I believe you." She smiled before turning back around. "I don't know about you but I think we need some music. She quickly flipped on the radio

screaming when a great song came on. The two danced and unpacked the rest of the evening, finally ending the day with some hot chocolate and looking out the

window at the city below.


	56. Chapter 56

They Never Knew

Chapter 58

Will It Ever Get Better

Amy opened her eyes taking in the bleary look of her now unpacked room. She groaned unintentionally waking up her sister. "Why do you do this!" Emma growled back as she curled back into her pillow.

"Do what?"

"Wake me up."

"I didn't meant to wake you up."

"You still did, you do this all the time. You groan because you hate mornings and then your groan wakes me up another person who hates mornings!" Amy rolled her eyes before getting out of bed and going to the restroom.

When she came out Emma was back to sleeping. Amy smirked as she pounced onto her. "Emma wake up!" Emma shot up effectively hitting Amy in the face.

"Geez"

"Well don't sneak up on me!" She looked closer at the bruise forming on her sister face. "Ooo sorry."

"I guess it will remind me to leave you alone in the mornings." Emma chuckled as she got out of bed.

"So got any plans today?" She yelled through the door of the bathroom.

"Work." Emma froze in the midst of brushing her teeth…she had forgotten about that. While she had been in here hanging out with people and wallowing around in self-misery her sister was in a living hell full of all the perverts of the world. The thought didn't leave as she finished getting ready. Amy being Amy immediately noticed the change in her sister. The way she walked almost stiffly, the fact she wouldn't look her in the eyes, plus she wasn't talking. Her sister almost always talked! "Okay Emm, what's up?"

Looking up at her sister. She watched closely noting there was nothing judgmental about the look in Emma's eyes. It was pure compassion.

"I'm just really sorry. You've done a lot to help me and I've just taken advantage. You send me to a facility to get over my problems and I only make things worse, you would be so much better without me a-

No no no, Emm, you've got this all wrong. I would do anything for you, I figured there would be issues. I never though you would just magically be healed. I knew there would be struggles and I was ready for that…I mean maybe not your friend dying or a suicide attempt, but Emm I'm still here! You're not getting rid of me now or ever." She smiled looking her sister in the eye, before pulling her in for a long hug. "I would never ever want to live this life without you."

Amy smiled waving to Emma as she walked out of the institute, that smile of course faded as she continued walking knowing exactly where she was going. She frowned as she looked up at the place that had become her living nightmare. She walked inside quietly smiling gently to the other girls who shared her same fate. She moved into the room that was assigned as hers, a room she had become painfully familiar with. She hated it here, but she would do whatever it took to help Emma.


End file.
